Wait, what’s the “bottle hack?”
cut off top of soda bottle, pull bag through hole, screw on top.
This should be chaotic evil.
That sounds like the nost tiktok livehack omg i’ve been doing it wrong all my life, i was todays years old when i learned this lifehack, ever
It eventually gives you the firmness of toast without the toaster
That sounds like significantly more work than any of the other options. In what way is it a “hack”?
That’s the way hacks work. They look good on Tik Tok but then when you start to think about it you realize why we’re not already doing it that way.
I never said it was a good thing.
It’s a free bag clip that works. I used it several times and its working well
I mean, do it once and you have a free bag clip for a few different breads.
Too many steps, ill be at the bar
I drink my bread.
I think chaotic good should be you tie it with a loop. It’s firmly tied closed, but you just have to pull at the end and it comes open
I scrolled through so many comments to see if anyone was just going to let that one go un-asked! I started reading the chart from the bottom and got to chaotic good last and went from leaning back in my chair to fully forward when I read it. Was like car tire screech “What the fuck is the bottle hack?!?!?” lol
I am lawful and chaotic neutral.
Twist and reuse clip? Absolutely.
yeah, we all know air can‘t twist, chaotic neutral is sufficient
I’ve started making my own bread and keeping it in a bread box. This alignment is called “lawful insufferable”
Bread boxes promote mold growth.
Free penicilin.
I haven’t found anything that isn’t akin to old wives tales backing this claim up. Got any sources?
“retaining a small amount of humidity whilst also allowing a small amount of ventilation. Some bread boxes don’t allow any ventilation, but these can cause too much moisture retention and allow faster mold growth”
https://www.foodtoimpress.com/bread/how-to-prevent-mold-on-bread/
Bread should be stored in a cool dry place to insure it lasts longest. Breadboxes are the opposite of ideal.
Bread boxes are antiquated tech in a time where bread was meant to be eaten faster and as a method of rodent protection. The same with pie cupboards/safes.
From your own link:
They create an ideal environment for bread since they’re cool, dark, and relatively dry. They act similarly to a plastic bag and trap some moisture, but they also release excess moisture through airflow, so you get the best of both worlds.
It sounds like it’s just bad if you don’t know how to use one.
Mine is just a foodsafe plastic bin which gets cleaned out every week. My loaves scarcely last long enough to go off anyway 🤭
See? Insufferable.
And what is just tucking in a breadbox?
My brother liked to tear open the bag in the middle, then leave it as is in the open.
Chaotic Breadhitler
See, this is more like chaotic evil. Most of this chart is just normal behavior.
I guess he’s Chaotic Evil Demon King
It’s just chaotic evil.
Leaving the bag open should be chaotic neutral. It’s a sign of somebody shifting focus with neither good nor bad intentions.
Satan fears your brother
I’m hoping your brother was 3-5. Anything after that should have been slapped out of him.
He did that as a teen…
Is your brother a cat?
Usually neutral good, but if I can’t find the clip, I’m neutral evil.
I’m definitely somewhere between neutral and chaotic evil…
Chaotic neutral. Who knew that bread was such a sage.
What does fridge bread count as?
Road kill
You ought to be locked up
But it lasts longer
Doesn’t it dry out though? For me it’s always freezer or nothing
Not really. Gets a bit squishy if anything
Rowsdower…
I wonder if there’s beer in the sun…
It does, and I have a fifth grade science project to prove it!
Chaotic neutral, then in the fridge. Quick and easy, stays fresh.
This post right here, officer!
Every time one of those charts comes up I’m somehow always marked chaotic neutral.
Lawful neutral. I’m surprised more people don’t just use the clip that came with it. It’s kept the bread fresh the whole time up to you acquiring it, so why not keep using it?
Where i live the plastic is actually kind of stuck together and clip just makes sure it stays that way. Once you open it the first time the clip won’t have the same effect anymore
I haven’t seen a bread clip in what? 15 years.
How is bread packaged and sealed where you are?
Little bit of sellotape that has the best before date on it, you used to be able to reuse that a little but they have gone real cheap with it.
Twist tie
Canada Bread has switched to using paper clips. They deform and break after so many reapplies. The twist and tuck is the next best option.
I haven’t had a problem with them so far, but I can see how they are more flimsy compared to the plastic ones
Because those little fuckers are fun to flick across the room, then get lost under the couch.
Because bread is stocked daily, so the clip hasn’t done much, and many of the methods are a tighter seal or just faster
I switch between chaotic neutral and neutral evil.
Breadboxes are bullshit and you know it
Do people still use these? I haven’t seen one since my great aunt’s house in the early '90s, and I’m certain it was never used for bread. Still remember the smell of that kitchen. Picked up the early, mineral tones of her weird, dank basement. God damn, I played a lot of Megaman 2 in that basement.
You put the bread in the box, while using one of the other methods.
The box is there to look pretty.
The only thing a breadbox has done for me is give me molded bread the next day. Every time.
You might want to consider cleaning your moldy box…
The last one was new and I bleached it out before using it, still happened. The bread was also new.
Bread don’t last long. In to the fridge it goes.
My gram used to put the bread and crisps in the oven when the oven wasn’t being used :)
We used to do that in my old tiny apartment until one of us forgot and turned the oven on.
Made some toast without knowing.
They just make me forget about the bread.
What bread? What are we talking about again?
Idk man I think I have to buy one.
Sounds like an scp report.
Someone call the memetics department. About what, I forget…
That must be a simultaneously fascinating and terrible job. Much like a normal SCP operative but worse and more boring.
“So you contacted us on Nov 18th about a problem.”
“Did I? What was it?”
“We don’t know.”
“So what do we do now.”
“First, I’m interviewing you about the thing.”
“Thing?”
“Yes, the thing.”
“What thing?”
“The thing you can’t seem to remember.”
“Wait, hang on, I’m so confused, what are you here about?”
“So… you contacted us on Nov 18th about a problem…”
“Did I? What was it?”
“[sigh] Hi, I’m from the Memetics Department. I’m going to perform a routine inspection. I hope you don’t mind if I search through everything?”
Free penicilin.
Sometimes my mind needs a break.
True neutral and chaotic neutral should switch
Put it in the freezer.
This is how I keep an eight pack of burger buns fresh. Also freshly cooked freezes flawlessly.
I usually buy bread from Sam’s Club/Cosco and it comes in 2 packs so that’s usually what I do with the extra loaf. I don’t refreeze a loaf or just grab a frozen slice and microwave it or something though. I have standards
You can just throw a frozen slice in the toaster and you’ll get good at timing whether you want a thawed or toasted slice before you know it.
I didn’t know humans are capable of such monstrosity
Why are you booing me, I’m right!
Big bread just wants you to throw away bread and buy more.
My bread lasts for 1-2 weeks on the counter. Modern science is rad.
I mean freshly baked bread that you put in a bag last week a week or so I know dough conditioners do extend the life but when I throw my bread out it’s usually not because it’s stale because it’s moldy which conditioners don’t really help
I don’t usually eat that much bread, so a bag of bread may last me 4 weeks or so. Freezing it is the best option if you toast it anyways. The result is the exact same, except that freezing the bread will make it last essentially forever.
Once upon a time when toasters didn’t need high tech computers, it was possible to get a perfectly toasted piece of bread from frozen. There was a bimetallic strip that sensed the temperature of the bread, so it would always be consistent. This made freezing bread much more practical
My toaster has a snowflake button that just toasts it for a little bit longer.
I’m not sure why technology hasn’t improved toasters at all, and indeed made them go backwards. I guess the 80s and the age of microchips couldn’t solve everything…
It’s bread. Bread is freezable. Same with cakes. You have definitely eaten defrosted bread and not even known it. You can freeze it 100 times and you won’t be able to tell the difference.
All the beead in the supermarkets comes from the frozen section. They take a big patch every night for the next day to defrost before adding it to the shelves.
It’ll stay fresh much longer
