Way back before Scott Adams went completely off the deep end I had a tin of Dilbert branded mints called Encourage Mints. This is literally a joke from the hackiest office comic ever yet some manager(s) still thought it was good idea. WTF does business school teach?
They should just attach a turbine to Karl Marx’s coffin … his spinning could probably supply enough power for all of Western Europe.
As far as I can tell, business school teaches people how to enthusiastically participate in the capitalist circlejerk. That’s kinda it.
Company making millions due to its workers efforts, while rewarding them with practically nothing? Sounds like business school is teaching capitalism perfectly.
what a disappointMINT.
This is a very underrated comMINT!
They aren’t teaching psychology in them. Stupid “gifts” like these are a net negative. You are so much better off giving nothing than a crappy gift.
They are not even ashamed of doing this!
“What? It’s cute!”
-some dipshit with an Agile certification
Gonna get an agile certification to get such a position and then coach my team into a fucking union
Can many of us also get an agile certification and coach the proletariat to seize the means of production?
Lmao
It would be cute if it was how the person was getting a 10% bonus on what they helped make the company
Bonus in my experience would be the team in question get 10-30% of the total to share. If we’re talking a pure sales team it varies wildly however, I’ve seen everything from 10-50% to the team. In some industries sales people can make more than their CEO good years.
Always the Agile circlejerk certification
I assumed this was a nursing sub until I looked closer. Hospital management only does horrid shit like this for staff.
These “rewards” are awful. My condolences.
If you’re lucky though, maybe you’ll get a small rock with a “You Rock!” printout next time.
The only place that rock should go is through your boss’s windshield
Or head.
Thanks for making our shareholders money! Remember not to call in sick or ask for a raise and that unions take your money with no benefit!
Actually adding the amount of additional money you made them to the card is the cherry on top.
Thanks boss. Have a quit mint.
Abandonmint
I read this in a Kiwi accent, and the only reason I can think of why, is shid, though that doesn’t really explain it lol
Pictured: the moment Bob decided it was time to form a fucking union.
Shit like that is when I start keeping notice of good places around the work place to start fucking fires.
(The above comment is not advocating for arson or any other related crimes. It is however advocating for keeping a keen eye out in your work place surroundings, which is sound advice for all.)
It looks like they were going to give two mints but thought better of the added expenditure.
They were shipped back to the same sweatshop in Bangladesh to have the 2nd mints ripped off. The whole operation cost the equivalent of 47 pizza parties.
I kept thinking “surely this was attached to something else and they didn’t just give a mint and a few stupid jokes”. Then I noticed another one of these stuck to a locker in the background. What pieces of trash. You don’t show appreciation by saying “You are appreciated”. You show appreciation by compensating your employees for their work.
Don’t salespeople make a lot of money on commission if they’re involved in selling expensive equipment? Like, even if they have a 1% commission, if they sell a state of the art MRI machine that goes for $3 million that’s a good $30,000 from just one client alone. Even without a salary, it only takes a few sales per year to make a living wage.
Sales people generally make a commission, but you’re assuming they are selling expensive equipment to begin with. My cousin does inside sales at a tire company, mostly tires for construction vehicles. His commission is based on whether they meet sales numbers, and is considered part of his “normal” income, typically referred to as “on target earnings” or OTE.
A company that beat their number by $6mil and isn’t popping champagne means they are probably a billion dollar or more corporation.
Source: I work in pre-sales, get commission, do not get mints or pizza. I did get a $40 credit to our company store, which lets me buy shirts and hoodies with the company logo on it WITH MY OWN MONEY.
They can, but $3mil dollar deals don’t just line up outside your office. Getting 3 of those per year like clockwork probably isn’t normal.
Not normal or everyday perhaps, but the equipment is still needed for other businesses to function.
Also the notion that sales is the most important department in corporate since they, well, bring in the sales.
Also the notion that sales is the most important department in corporate since they, well, bring in the sales.
The sales people can’t sell anything without the people who make the actual equipment. On the other hand things still sell without sales people. One of the largest contracts at my company was a company that reached out to us unprompted.
They may have only been able to reach out do to the work of sales getting the company name out there, advertising, or word of mouth through engagement that sales were responsible for. In a healthy company all departments are vital to success.
Good work team let’s hope for another 6 million
OP is a goddamn liar and is trying to spread misinformation. Notice how there are TWO staples but only ONE mint??? Nice try OP, but we all see through your poor facade and know you’re actually a two mint-having bitch elitist!
Wait 2 mints?!?! Well goddamn if that doesn’t change everything!!!
Dammit, don’t tell HR…
This is like in the UK when everyone clapped for the NHS workers during the COVID pandemic, including the PM and other government ministers.
But when said workers ask for a pay rise? Fuck off
Reminds me of getting a note from HR admonishing me to pick out my 20th work anniversary “gift” from “pages 12 to 16” of the supplied catalogue. I knew nothing of it. They concluded with “or we’ll choose for you, i.e. a clock”. I got luggage tags. For 20 years of my life. The best years of my life. Luggage tags. FML.
