I spent a season working in a packing house for watermelons. They’d come in by the crateload and we were allowed to just grab one to eat any time we wanted.

The trick I was taught, and which proved to be pretty reliable over the course of the season, was to feel the veins. (This is possibly what’s being described as webbing here?) Watermelons aren’t smooth, they have wide “veins” running top to bottom and you can feel them if you put your hand flat on the side of the melon. The bigger/poofier/wider the veins, the more ripe is it.

Never eat them, horrible watery bullshit and more effort than they’re worth.

However, a very much appreciated post because my wife loves them and if this is true, I can become the Watermelon Wizard

Thanks, possibly:)

This is all good info except for the gender thing. The round/long difference is just a growth habit. Watermelon plants (and other cucurbits like squash, zucchini, cantaloupe, etc) produce male and female flowers. Only the female flowers produce fruit and must be pollinated by a male flower to do so.

now do a honeydew

I worked at a grocery store and the old timer who trained me in the produce section said that all you needed to find the best watermelon was learn how to give it a slap and if it sounds like a basketball that’s a good watermelon. Learning the slap takes some practice but when you do it right, you’ll know.

This was bullshit the first 2000 times it was posted to reddit and it’s still bullshit here.

There’s nothing better and more comforting than sitting down with a cold watermelon in the middle of summer.

Conversely, there’s nothing worse than sitting down with an unsweetened, tasteless garbage ball of a watermelon.

Saving this to increase my odds!

I did not think I was going to be bookmarking a post about picking watermelon today.

Why the green arrow for the “wrong” one, and the red arrow for the “right” one?

3 of the 4 items (gender doesn’t matter, variety does) are generally correct.
Source: I’m a former watermelon “cutter” (the guy that goes out in the field first thing in the morning and cuts the good melons off the vine, and turns them belly side up so it’s obvious to the field workers which melons to load up)

Also, with the whole thumping thing, most people just look silly doing as they don’t know what they’re doing. If you do thump, ones that have a higher pitched ping are still green, and that have a really dull/flat thud are over-ripe/too gritty/sugary. Also, weight should feel right, too light and it’s overripe/rotten.

In general, any melon sold at the store should be good, just take one and stop trying to be a hero. At least the farmers I dealt with are pretty ethical, they aren’t purposely shipping bad melons. It just takes experience of seeing/handling melons for a while to get the “picking one” correct. Most store I know of have a satisfaction guarantee anyway, take pictures if it’s bad and when you go back get a refund if you’re that concerned with it.

Fruit don’t have “genders,” this is complete bullshit

Where’s the part where you slap it?

honestly… that’s good to know, thanks

This was definitely a topic of conversation at your 4th of July event.

neat

On oranges, damage to the fruit (insect bites, cuts, etc) often cause the fruit to be sweeter in the area of the damage. So ugly fruit is often tastier.

Americans especially are sold shiny pretty consistent fruit. Ripe fruit is browning, wrinkled, lots of flaws. After a while you’ll see some of those “flaws” as signs of tasty fruit.