All the HELL IS REAL and anti-abortion billboards too.
The Chicago as a reference point had me cracking up.
Just another 500 miles and I’ll be home!
There’s a German style brewery in Columbus, Ohio that sells black shirts with red block lettering that say “Helles Real” and I think it’s the best thing ever
Don’t forget the absolutey massive fireworks outlet stores that somehow remain profitable year round.
What? No “Wall Drug” signs?
when “free water” counted as retail innovation
I’ve lived in Los Angeles for 12 years and this sounds really comfy tbh
What are those weigh stations even for? I see them on the Western states too.
And they’re always closed! So clearly not that important.
Trucks can only be 80,000 pounds max and certain weight ratios per axle (varies by state and conditions). If you’re too heavy it could mean shifting the axles, obtaining a special permit, needing an escort, paying a fine, or even being stopped until you can sort it out. It has to do mostly with safety and damage to the roads AFAIK. Also it’s where they check all your paperwork and licenses.
Lack of staff.
Theoretically to check for smuggling and/or theft, I’ve been told. Come to think of it, if exactly the right weight of merchandise “fell off the back of the truck” to balance the weight of the humans you’re trafficking, you’d be safe and make double profits.
This song is really silly but i feel like it’s the quintessential Midwestern road trip in song form
Be warned, it’s folk music, which means it’s catchy, in it’s own way
Checks out. My hometown used to have a sign that said Chicago -> 500 miles.
Missing the Wall Drug 500 miles sign
See also - 7 hour drive? Oh yeah that’s a small roadtrip
I swear midwesterners have that mentality because you’ll only have that car for 5 years before it rusts out. Gotta get as many miles as you can!
That’s a commute.
You have no idea how good you have it. Spent a substantial amount of time in my youth moving from one side of the country to the other. We had books, when we had enough light. And whatever radio mom/dad wanted to listen to. And chainsmoking parents who wouldn’t open the windows.
No phones, no smart phones, no gameboys, just miles and miles of reading (thank god I don’t get carsick and love books) or, when you couldn’t because of lack of sunlight, you just did nothing. I would have murdered someone for a laptop with games, movies etc., not even online.
And the rest areas were still closed lol.
Midwesterner here. This is correct. Though it’s missing anti-abortion ads and the PORN DESTROYS ALL LIVES signs that always follow the Adult Superstore ones.
I’m always amazed all those adult superstores can stay open with the internet, but I guess porn is only a fraction of their inventory
The answer to your query is Glory Holes. Tons of closeted gay repression in conservative parts of the world.
True.
Also, even for those of us who are out, they sell better sex toys than Spencer’s, better lube than Walgreens, and are the only place to buy Wildberry incense for some reason.
And the workers are some of the genuinely nicest people you can meet in the Midwest.
Also the homemade signs on the farmers land. As a kid, I always got a kick out of a sheet of plywood that had been painted with a simple message: “outlaw sodomy.”
Painted by someone who clearly thinks about buttsex more than the average gay man.
Ha, I’m still alive. CHECKMATE
I was about to mention the Jesus Lives and Christ is the way mega posters
don’t forget the giant sign that just says JESUS. Nothing else, literally just that.
And the Enormous Lower Case T.
Stealing this
There’s the same sign in NC/SC, plus the SOTB Pedro signs
It’s nice that the bottom right one helps you practice your maths. “Exit 164 Miles” is just so boring.
The “famous for leaving the Midwest” thing is so real. I lived in a town that billed itself as the hometown of a famous country singer, themed museum and all. Looked it up one time, the dude lived there for like a year when he was three.
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Ohio and North Carolina have a license plate beef over the Wright Brothers. They lived and worked in Ohio (“Birthplace of Aviation”), but the first flight was in Kitty Hawk because of the steady winds (“First in Flight”).
Same thing! Famous actor for us. Most famous thing was being born there. Left when they were a teenager and never looked back
I once TPed the statue of former president Ronald Reagan at his boyhood home in Dixon, IL.
O7
“We have two seasons in [insert Midwest state], Winter and Construction. Sometimes they overlap.”
Drove across Kansas once. Every small town has 1 grain silo, 1 post office, 1 bank. Over and over.
yep. Missouri too. You know it’s a big town when it’s got a grain elevator and a rail. Not quite as absurdly flat as Kansas.
I still prefer Kansas tho, missouri is a real shit hole.
