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The Brewster’s Millions genie
Great movie. In this case, at end of this one you can have assets and apparently also tell your friends what you’re up to.
Sent this to my friend at AWS and he said it was already all-over their internal Memes Slack channel. At least their engineers and project managers are in on the joke. 😁
No knowledge of the financial stuff, but maybe: put most of it in a variety of ETFs, hire a financial advisor and an accountant to help you navigate the system and the taxes, then cash out and donate it.
You spend it without giving it away. Then you give it away. Some countries give you a lot of it back at tax time if you donate to registered charities so you’ll even get something for it. I dunno, I’m a poor so maybe it wouldn’t work out, but it would be cool.
“Investing” is just gambling with extra steps.
Yes, and ETFs have the best odds with pretty low, but relatively stable, returns. It’s fairly low-risk because that’s how index funds work. Retail investing is not really for me, so low-risk is the most I am comfortable with.
In this scenario, I only need to keep the money in stocks for 1 month. It’s not like investing in crypto, I’d lose barely any of it in that time if I lost anything at all.
Treasury bonds here I come
Investments are probably covered under “gambling”.
Buy a few houses? How long does that take if You have cash?
It’s taking the premise of Brewster’s Millions, which required that he not only spend the money, but that he has to have nothing left at the end, including assets. So, buying a house doesn’t work because you still own the house.
Obviously there are still plenty of ways to drop millions on stuff without having anything to show for it. Hell, it’s probably easier now than ever before. Just become a whale for a mobile game and you’re there.
Mobile game, uhg! Think of the services: a month’s worth of the best eats: 90 meals from the world’s 100 most famous chefs, each flown in to serve you. (Presumably 10% would decline even $1m for a single meal.) Concerts from semi-famous bands every three nights. Boom, $100m spent!
Mobile games are easier and funnier though 😉
Just become a whale for a mobile game and you’re there.
I’d rather literally burn all that cash
Well if taking the rules literally, that’s allowed too!
As long as you resist whatever urge you might have to throw out the ashes before you get the billion, you’re not throwing them away!
I wanna say they specifically called out property destruction as being against the rules. And overpaying as well iirc, so you can’t offer someone millions for a sandwich that you then eat.
Plus, if we’re being pedantic, burning the money isn’t spending it, which is what he is supposed to do.
The movie also has the advantage of having a contract that presumably covers any other loopholes the audience thinks of, but which they don’t explicitly address in the script. Once you take it out of a movie and start treating it like a challenge to be solved, you can no longer hide behind some unseen fine print.
they specifically called out property destruction as being against the rules
Not in this meme, which is what I’m referring to.
And overpaying as well
So that rules out spending them in the US and several other countries…
In under-regulated capitalism, prices aren’t set at what’s fair, they’re at the maximum that they can get away with without losing too many sales/clients.
That’s by definition overpaying from the perspective of the buyer/client.
Plus, if we’re being pedantic
We are indeed. Carry on, good sir/madam/cuttlefish
burning the money isn’t spending it, which is what he is supposed to do.
Damn, you got me there. Good point 😁
The movie
Again, I was referring to the meme only, not the movie that inspired the premise
also has the advantage of having a contract that presumably covers any other loopholes the audience thinks of
That’s a mountain sized presumption…
Once you take it out of a movie and start treating it like a challenge to be solved, you can no longer hide behind some unseen fine print.
Good. Genies have had it too good for too long 😛
Excuse me, but my waifu has plenty of assets!
Give it to me, I’ll invest it
no gambling
Sure on stocks, but would bonds be considered gambling?
It’s only gambling if you intend to sell it off for a profit. I just want to own a piece of a cool company.
Ever heard of this game called “Star Citizen”?
from 714 millions to 814 millions in one day. nice :D
Surely that will be enough for them to finally finish the game right? COPIUM
I don’t think that money is the issue any more, time and scope would be the issue. Lets see if 4.0 actually arrives this year
Oh I know, but tell that to the people still pouring millions at them
Lol, just buy one house in the US.
The national average house price in the US is about $300k, so you’d need to buy about 333 houses to spend the $100 million
I could make that work. 🤔
I’ll become the Oprah of houses. You get a house, you get a house, everyone gets a house.
Most homes in the US don’t break a million in up front cost, unless you’re buying in one of the very popular “reality warp” locations that are in absurdly high demand (SF Bay area, Redmond, Dallas, New York, etc).
True. Maybe… 3 houses instead?
I could blow 100M monthly on AWS. Probably take me the first month to spin it all up, easy from there.
I would buy so many windmill permits with that money.
Would donations count as gifting? There are so many FOSS projects that could use the cash inflow.
If it doesn’t count, well, prepare for a deluge of hentai to show up in a month.
Yes. You can buy their support though.
I was thinking about not donating to charity but buying stuff directly and asking them for support to ship it. Basically that makes you buy and not gift. If you buy 1 gigaton of rice for Ethiopia (I have no clue how many people a gigaton of rice would feed and I also have no clue whether Ethiopians need any rice) from Costco, well, then you have spent the money on it. Fuck it, maybe buy a boat. A ferry to ship it all directly. Buy land and don’t gift but let workers work there. For free. For eternity. Oh you happen to pay them 50 times the average salary of their country? Well you’re probably a bad businessman but you’re not gifting. Pay the lawyers to make a bulletproof testament where you explicitly state that these poor fellas will never own the land but will for eternity be able to use it for free until the sun explodes.
And then bribe. Bribe away the heartache, bribe away the pain. Bribe the SCOTUS to retire. Bribe Putin to stop the war and fuck off. Bribe Trump to fuck off. Bribe Musk to get a vasectomy and fuck off. I mean you’re basically just lobbying at that point but we all know that that’s bribing and not gifting.
I also have no clue whether Ethiopians need any rice
The Ethiopian famine was 30 years ago. Not that they haven’t had troubles off-and-on since then.
I love that idea that you’d just go to your local Costco, say “One gigaton of rice please” and they give you a voucher to go to the front of the store where high value items are handed out after purchase.
Easy! Just spend the month in a US hospital without insurance
Hopefully the billion will cover the rest of the bill
You know it won’t
The bill will come in nine months though. You have spend it within the month.
Create a serverless function on AWS that calls a serverless function on Azure, which calls a serverless function on gcp which calls a serverless function on Oracle cloud which loops it back to AWS.
Now stick CloudFlare in between each step of that.
Dude, you only have 100 million.
Crash the dollar by entering the whole amount in the stock market? Or are stocks also considered gambling?
What do you know, my brother just opened up an art auction house.
