Well I’m night shift so it’s while I’m sleeping. But they can’t just give you a day off either because that would also just solve the real issue. Not that therapy is never necessary, but having worked in mental health 8+ years now, 90% of the time 90% of people just need a damn day off (often more than one). Traumas and chronic dysfunctions will absolutely always exist, but we really need to stop focusing (as much) on the “everybody should go to therapy” side and much more on the “what the fuck are we doing to all of these people that all of them need so much therapy???” side (spoiler: It’s too much work for too little pay, and the rent, as always, is too. damn. high.).
I’ve heard people call these mental health days. At least to friends. Probably not to bosses. It’s good to take one once in a while (if you can) and just chill. I occasionally do so.
I’ll never forget my younger brother saying that in NYC people consider it really weird if you’re not in therapy. I didn’t comment, but that kind of bugged me. I’m all for de-stigmatizing therapy, but that made it sound like it’s some kind of flex to tell people you’re in therapy…?
Yeah to me I see it as the commoditization / paywalling of normal human supportive interaction. Therapy should be there to supplement normal supportive relationships when they’re unavailable to you or you have a large enough stressor in your life that they’re inadequate to help you manage.
I don’t like the idea of moving towards a society where it’s just expected that most truly supportive interactions have a strict professional-client paid relationship instead of a naturally ebbing and flowing give and take between two friends who are close enough. To me that just feels like capitalism further encroaching into my life by tallying up the worth of every interaction I have so they can demand their cut.
I’m already seeing a therapist for my existing severe mental illness through one of those online gig style therapy services because that was the only place I could find any openings, and they’re already taking their cut that way. I can’t imagine choosing this if I wasn’t already someone who had been hospitalized several times. Difficulty sustaining stable interpersonal relationships is literally a key hallmark of my disorder, and if I was better at it I’d much prefer it! (I’m working on it, LOL).
I appreciate you bringing up the money aspects. I have often felt the same way about the ubiquitousness of “just do therapy, bro”. That it’s just another sad aspect of late stage capitalism. It’s my understanding there’s not nearly enough providers to go around, yet the aggressive marketing continues. Because of course it does.
I don’t know if this is true or if it’s just a trope. But I’ve also heard that the field attracts people who usually need help themselves. Not that all therapists are “broken”…but that there’s a percentage who are. So on top of finding an available one at all, you hope you land a good one. Hopefully that’s just a BS stereotype.
It’s not even the "needs help themselves aspect. That screws them, they say most psych nurses are crazy too, it’s whether they’ve done the work on it, and I think you’d find similar levels of low competence from somebody who just didn’t pay enough attention in school (AND they wouldn’t have the life experience to know what they’re talking about).
The other thing you mentioned: not having close friends and non-professional relationships. I think that’s very true. A lot of people are isolated these days. And many friends will keep you at arm’s length. They are happy to hang out. But if you start to open up too much, they will start to avoid you. Anything that smells remotely “clingy” is a big no-no. They’d rather look at screens than engage in real talk.
Well I’m night shift so it’s while I’m sleeping. But they can’t just give you a day off either because that would also just solve the real issue. Not that therapy is never necessary, but having worked in mental health 8+ years now, 90% of the time 90% of people just need a damn day off (often more than one). Traumas and chronic dysfunctions will absolutely always exist, but we really need to stop focusing (as much) on the “everybody should go to therapy” side and much more on the “what the fuck are we doing to all of these people that all of them need so much therapy???” side (spoiler: It’s too much work for too little pay, and the rent, as always, is too. damn. high.).
I’ve heard people call these mental health days. At least to friends. Probably not to bosses. It’s good to take one once in a while (if you can) and just chill. I occasionally do so.
I’ll never forget my younger brother saying that in NYC people consider it really weird if you’re not in therapy. I didn’t comment, but that kind of bugged me. I’m all for de-stigmatizing therapy, but that made it sound like it’s some kind of flex to tell people you’re in therapy…?
Yeah to me I see it as the commoditization / paywalling of normal human supportive interaction. Therapy should be there to supplement normal supportive relationships when they’re unavailable to you or you have a large enough stressor in your life that they’re inadequate to help you manage.
I don’t like the idea of moving towards a society where it’s just expected that most truly supportive interactions have a strict professional-client paid relationship instead of a naturally ebbing and flowing give and take between two friends who are close enough. To me that just feels like capitalism further encroaching into my life by tallying up the worth of every interaction I have so they can demand their cut.
I’m already seeing a therapist for my existing severe mental illness through one of those online gig style therapy services because that was the only place I could find any openings, and they’re already taking their cut that way. I can’t imagine choosing this if I wasn’t already someone who had been hospitalized several times. Difficulty sustaining stable interpersonal relationships is literally a key hallmark of my disorder, and if I was better at it I’d much prefer it! (I’m working on it, LOL).
I appreciate you bringing up the money aspects. I have often felt the same way about the ubiquitousness of “just do therapy, bro”. That it’s just another sad aspect of late stage capitalism. It’s my understanding there’s not nearly enough providers to go around, yet the aggressive marketing continues. Because of course it does.
I don’t know if this is true or if it’s just a trope. But I’ve also heard that the field attracts people who usually need help themselves. Not that all therapists are “broken”…but that there’s a percentage who are. So on top of finding an available one at all, you hope you land a good one. Hopefully that’s just a BS stereotype.
It’s not even the "needs help themselves aspect. That screws them, they say most psych nurses are crazy too, it’s whether they’ve done the work on it, and I think you’d find similar levels of low competence from somebody who just didn’t pay enough attention in school (AND they wouldn’t have the life experience to know what they’re talking about).
The other thing you mentioned: not having close friends and non-professional relationships. I think that’s very true. A lot of people are isolated these days. And many friends will keep you at arm’s length. They are happy to hang out. But if you start to open up too much, they will start to avoid you. Anything that smells remotely “clingy” is a big no-no. They’d rather look at screens than engage in real talk.