Dated a poly-amorous person for a while, I can’t say I’ve tried being poly myself as I have a hard enough time getting in a relationship with one person at a time, but ending up as the odd man out as they split their time between work, kids, and any partner but me didn’t feel good.
If you try again, lay out your expectations as to how much attention you expect, as it seems as if there wasn’t good communication on that and you committed more than they did. Poly and monogamy ultimately have the same largest hurldles: bad communication and bad actors.
We did. She approached me about dating and we talked for a while about expectations before really going for it, that’s what made it hurt. I knew going in that I wouldn’t be able to have her around as much as previous relationships, but the “expected time together” suddenly became none because she “wanted to focus on her career” but posted on facebook whenever she was with others, which was about as often as normal for her.
Edit- I think she just decided that her needs/wants changed and she just didn’t want to hurt me by breaking up, but not doing that was just as bad.
Dated a poly-amorous person for a while, I can’t say I’ve tried being poly myself as I have a hard enough time getting in a relationship with one person at a time, but ending up as the odd man out as they split their time between work, kids, and any partner but me didn’t feel good.
If you try again, lay out your expectations as to how much attention you expect, as it seems as if there wasn’t good communication on that and you committed more than they did. Poly and monogamy ultimately have the same largest hurldles: bad communication and bad actors.
We did. She approached me about dating and we talked for a while about expectations before really going for it, that’s what made it hurt. I knew going in that I wouldn’t be able to have her around as much as previous relationships, but the “expected time together” suddenly became none because she “wanted to focus on her career” but posted on facebook whenever she was with others, which was about as often as normal for her.
Edit- I think she just decided that her needs/wants changed and she just didn’t want to hurt me by breaking up, but not doing that was just as bad.