Three or four days ago one of my friends tried to take their life. Made an attempt at least. And they live chatted the whole thing with me. Was very dramatic. Traumatizing even. I’ve decided to break contact with that friend. I just can’t go through it again. They reached out today asking why I’ve broken contact and I explained to them i just can’t do it again. And I’m feeling bad about it, but I don’t see a way to re-engage, I’ll just constantly be worried about their behavior, and safety, I don’t want to get drawn into the next event. So this is weighing on my mind
As hard as it is in a situation like this, it is really important to understand own boundaries and if this was too much for you, respect your boundaries — in the beginning you might feel really torn, like you are betraying a friendship or leaving someone in need alone.
Additionally, your reaction might send a signal for them to seek help, it doesn’t have to but it just might be enough of a nudge in situation like this.
Bottom line is, if this decision was made from the position of respecting your current boundaries then whatever comes next is the best possible scenario in the long run.
This is the tricky part — if you are navigating through situations like this, while respecting your own boundaries… You are the only person that fully deserves that “thank you” from yourself.
Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you. It’s not always easy, and sometimes it’s not what’s best for other people. But sometimes you must prioritize your own mental health. It’s not your responsibility to be there for everyone at the expense of yourself.
Also, I recommend seeing therapy after traumatic events like these. My wife had PTSD from a traumatic health event, and it was fucking awful.
Not great.
Three or four days ago one of my friends tried to take their life. Made an attempt at least. And they live chatted the whole thing with me. Was very dramatic. Traumatizing even. I’ve decided to break contact with that friend. I just can’t go through it again. They reached out today asking why I’ve broken contact and I explained to them i just can’t do it again. And I’m feeling bad about it, but I don’t see a way to re-engage, I’ll just constantly be worried about their behavior, and safety, I don’t want to get drawn into the next event. So this is weighing on my mind
Sorry to hear…
Hopefully you and the friend will get better.
As hard as it is in a situation like this, it is really important to understand own boundaries and if this was too much for you, respect your boundaries — in the beginning you might feel really torn, like you are betraying a friendship or leaving someone in need alone.
Additionally, your reaction might send a signal for them to seek help, it doesn’t have to but it just might be enough of a nudge in situation like this.
Bottom line is, if this decision was made from the position of respecting your current boundaries then whatever comes next is the best possible scenario in the long run.
Stay safe.
Thank you, I really appreciate that thoughtful reply.
This is the tricky part — if you are navigating through situations like this, while respecting your own boundaries… You are the only person that fully deserves that “thank you” from yourself.
Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you. It’s not always easy, and sometimes it’s not what’s best for other people. But sometimes you must prioritize your own mental health. It’s not your responsibility to be there for everyone at the expense of yourself.
Also, I recommend seeing therapy after traumatic events like these. My wife had PTSD from a traumatic health event, and it was fucking awful.
I did this. Got pulled into a friend’s attempt then cut ties. It was better for my mental health.
And now, twenty years later, she’s fine. Married with kids. And I’m fine not having to had to deal with her nonsense at the time. It’ll be fine.