YouTube showed me this video today for some unknown reason. Seems spot on. All of these things occurred in a recent doomed relationship I had with a very difficult person - especially the stonewalling/ignoring thing which was #2 or whatever.
‘The thing isn’t the thing’, really resonated with me.
‘We’re fighting to be connected, and when we do feel connected, the thing doesn’t feel so important anymore’
I used to call it “fighting to fuck” because in some relationships I’ve had we would fight just to feel connected it seemed like. There would be this huge blow up and the more intense the fight the more intense the,… —fuck.
All very seemingly toxic. Somewhat makes more sense now that it has been put in this light.
Also— we need a good ‘relationships’ community here on Lemmy. Can’t seem to find ones like there were on reddit.
Yeah, I had a girlfriend who seemed to want to start fights with me to raise intensity so we could make up. It is fucking exhausting. Better than the one who started fights with me and then we didnt have sex.
YouTube showed me this video today for some unknown reason. Seems spot on. All of these things occurred in a recent doomed relationship I had with a very difficult person - especially the stonewalling/ignoring thing which was #2 or whatever.
Same here.
‘The thing isn’t the thing’, really resonated with me.
‘We’re fighting to be connected, and when we do feel connected, the thing doesn’t feel so important anymore’
I used to call it “fighting to fuck” because in some relationships I’ve had we would fight just to feel connected it seemed like. There would be this huge blow up and the more intense the fight the more intense the,… —fuck. All very seemingly toxic. Somewhat makes more sense now that it has been put in this light.
Also— we need a good ‘relationships’ community here on Lemmy. Can’t seem to find ones like there were on reddit.
There were good ones on Reddit?
Decent ones at least.
“Active” is the word.
There it is.
Yeah, I had a girlfriend who seemed to want to start fights with me to raise intensity so we could make up. It is fucking exhausting. Better than the one who started fights with me and then we didnt have sex.
Bet she meant the ‘go fuck yourself’.
Sure, I explicitly said that myself