Good morning everyone.

Sometimes I feel lost. I am 30 years old and the friends I have are the same friends ten years ago and they all still drink excessive alcohol. I am totally fine getting wasted once a year but they still do that every time we meet up.

I am also getting married soon, while I love my soon to be wife I get this huge feeling of anxiety when it comes towards our wedding. I invited most of my above friends because I don’t have any other friends. I wasted my 20s and thinking those are my friends but in the end I notice they are just drinking buddies. I don’t want to make them sound bad they are friendly people and they work and have degrees but the only connection I have to them is the bottle.

I wish I could just make a small wedding without inviting them and just cut ropes. But I already sent out the invites a year ago and organised most of the stuff for the wedding so I am going through it with them. And again, I don’t hate them. I just probably have like two close friends out of those 15 people and thats it. The rest is alcohol.

I am also in the process of building a house. We will be paying 1300 € to the bank the next 25 years and I designed the credit with my bank that I can pay it off with my salery alone in case my wife doesn’t work. I have about 3200 € a month after taxes and my (soon) wife 2400 € a month after taxes, so it seems possible.

Now the construction company of our house is slower than expected (planned to move in february and its gonna be may) and the wedding is july.

I wish I could take a sleeping pill and wake up next year.

Edit: Thank you to all for the kind answers and it helped me think about it from a different perspective and perhaps take things easier! Thanks

  • tygerprints@kbin.social
    1·
    11 months ago

    Yes it’s normal to feel lost - and you’ll go through it often. We change a lot over the course of our lives and that feeling of unsure-edness is one of the hallmarks of being alive.

    Sounds like you’re making progress on important milestones so you can feel good about those things. It may take some distance to see exactly how much you’ve really accomplished and to appreciate how you did it even while feeling kind of lost or at sea.

    Only thing I’d advise is, lay off the heavy drinking if you can. Being wasted isn’t a cure for the anxiety of living. And it takes more from you than it gives you, including screwing with your “feel good” chemicals over time. I wish you luck with it all!