I thought the joke here was that even when they’re not locked your average inkjet printer is a hot pile of garbage machinery that works only when the planets align and you’ve sacrificed 3 goats and a your firstborn.
Meanwhile laster jet printers work most of the time except when they don’t.
Edit: one time I wanted to buy more ink for my inkjet and there was a brand new inkjet printer that came with ink that was less expensive than a new cartridge. (Of the same size)
The new printer was $30 and worked just as poorly as my $150 inkjet.
I’ve done printer maintenance for years among other things and inkjets are literally designed and manufactured in the deepest layer of hell.
I was looking for a new printer and I also wanted to print photos. Problem with inkjets is that you have to use them regularly or the ink dries out so that was no option either.
I eventually settled on a black and white laserprinter, which is cheap to buy and run (a new 3000 page toner is like €40) and a Canon Selphy CP1500 for photos, which uses dye sublimation so no issues with ink drying out. It only prints 15x10 photos which covers the majority of my needs, for anything larger I want to use a good photo printing service anyway.
I mean, hypothetically couldn’t they mix some proprietary chemical formula into the ink and incorporates some device that analyses the ink chemistry and doesn’t print if that proprietary mixture is not present?
Even better, each and every particle of ink can be a network connected nano-machine, the usage of which, is available as a subscription.
If and when your subscription expires, all ink connected to your account will stop working.
Ink previously used for printing, will fall off the paper.
This can be prevented, on using special HP papers, with an ink-capturing coating of nano-machines which can be separately subscribed by the owner of the product of printing.
Meaning, now you can print books with HP printers and the customers can pay you a subscription fees to keep the book alive.
Alternatively, they can print on HP paper and you can pay subscription fees to HP yourself.
I call it IaaS (Information-Retention as a Service)
Personally I think HP is missing the point focusing on putting drm on inkjet refills, it is only half committing to the business strategy.
The existence of a finished, printed paper begins at the moment of conception when the customer conceives of wanting to print a document. Really every step after that point (including the conception step itself) is monetizable by HP and more importantly rightfully owned as intellectual property of HP that you are technically stealing if you don’t follow through with actually printing the document on an HP printer.
HP is just leaving all of that money on the table, or maybe the printer market is just too heavily regulated for HP to innovate properly in a healthy free market.
Ah sir, you ommm, made it so that every page of paper we use while working is deducted from our time off by HR (1 piece of paper = 10 minutes vacation time).
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The problem is that they can’t control open source drivers. They could, however, release a printer that ran on proprietary closed source drivers. But they’d have to spend money on developers to maintain that code whereas right now, drivers are more or less stable and developed for free.
What they could do is require the use of HP printer paper, with embedded RFID or watermarks that would be readable by HP printers. I’m honestly surprised they haven’t gone down this road.
See this is exactly what I am talking about when I say HP is leaving money on the table here, when thinking about these topics you just utilized the intellectual property of the following products for self improvement, recreation and social benefit:
Economically Recoverable Use Of Products By Thought (ER-UOPBT)
HP EcoPrecision Advanced Document Rendering Suite™ (HP EDARS™)
For the simple act of translating your document into printer-readable format.
HP SmartCartridge Alignment Pro+ System™ (HP SCAPS™)
Ensures your ink cartridges are perfectly aligned for each print, for the low price of continued subscription.
HP QuantumInk Subscription Service™ (HP QISS™)
Provides monthly ink deliveries while monitoring your ink levels remotely through quantum encryption.
HP PrintAssure Secure Environment Technology™ (HP PASET™)
An exclusive service that creates a secure printing tunnel to protect your documents from prying eyes.
HP PaperLoad Ultimate Feed Mechanism™ (HP PLUFM™)
A premium paper tray enhancement that promises to handle even the thinnest paper without a single jam.
HP ColorSync Precision Match™ (HP CSPM™)
A color management system that requires regular calibration via an online service to maintain color accuracy.
HP PageSense Automated Counting Service™ (HP PACS™)
A cloud-based page counting solution to ensure you're billed for each dot of ink on the paper.
HP IntelliConnect Wi-Fi Booster Pack™ (HP IWBP™)
A proprietary Wi-Fi extension service designed to maintain a robust connection between your devices and the printer.
HP ClearText Font Rendering Optimization™ (HP CFRO™)
A patented font enhancement service that sharpens the text on your prints, available in 12-month access packages.
HP OneTouch Print Harmony Experience™ (HP OTPHE™)
A personalized one-button printing interface that's locked behind a bi-monthly membership fee.
HP Printalytics Predictive Maintenance Hub™ (HP PPMH™)
An AI-driven analysis tool that predicts printer issues and schedules interventions, all reportable to your HP Premium Support Account Manager.
HP UltraPrint Resolution Enhancement Layer™ (HP UREL™)
A downloadable print resolution enhancement that requires a special code from your HP Print Quality Loyalty Program.
HP FirstSheet FastTrack Technology™ (HP FFST™)
Speeds up the printing of the first page of any document after a minor upgrade to your printer firmware.
HP WhisperMode Acoustic Dampening Service™ (HP WMADS™)
A subscription-based service to reduce printer noise with each cycle, for a more serene office environment.
Thus you are clearly already a customer of HP, and the exchange of HP giving your mind the imaginative capacity (Thought-As-A-Service) to visualize a printed document it is only reasonable to bundle with a subscription you pay to HP.
Are you going to tell me the US Supreme Court isn’t dumb enough to make this federal law? Also, if you think my joke was wayyy too much of a logical stretch to make any sense you should see what these people think about women and their bodies.
Ecotank inkjet printer
Yes
They literally can’t drm liquid ink that you pour into ink tanks
HP: Hold my cartridge
I thought the joke here was that even when they’re not locked your average inkjet printer is a hot pile of garbage machinery that works only when the planets align and you’ve sacrificed 3 goats and a your firstborn.
Meanwhile laster jet printers work most of the time except when they don’t.
Edit: one time I wanted to buy more ink for my inkjet and there was a brand new inkjet printer that came with ink that was less expensive than a new cartridge. (Of the same size)
The new printer was $30 and worked just as poorly as my $150 inkjet.
I’ve done printer maintenance for years among other things and inkjets are literally designed and manufactured in the deepest layer of hell.
I looked into laser printers but they didn’t meet my requirement of wanting to print photos
Brother has started putting drm in their laser printers and I’m not aware of a replacement brand for them yet
I was looking for a new printer and I also wanted to print photos. Problem with inkjets is that you have to use them regularly or the ink dries out so that was no option either.
I eventually settled on a black and white laserprinter, which is cheap to buy and run (a new 3000 page toner is like €40) and a Canon Selphy CP1500 for photos, which uses dye sublimation so no issues with ink drying out. It only prints 15x10 photos which covers the majority of my needs, for anything larger I want to use a good photo printing service anyway.
I mean, hypothetically couldn’t they mix some proprietary chemical formula into the ink and incorporates some device that analyses the ink chemistry and doesn’t print if that proprietary mixture is not present?
SHHHH DON’T GIVE HP IDEAS
Yes
Like that time Keurig used a very special shade of orange on the lid of their pods as DRM?
[HP engineers nervously look up from trying to figure out how to build high performance liquid chromatography into a home printer]
Even better, each and every particle of ink can be a network connected nano-machine, the usage of which, is available as a subscription.
If and when your subscription expires, all ink connected to your account will stop working. Ink previously used for printing, will fall off the paper.
This can be prevented, on using special HP papers, with an ink-capturing coating of nano-machines which can be separately subscribed by the owner of the product of printing.
Meaning, now you can print books with HP printers and the customers can pay you a subscription fees to keep the book alive. Alternatively, they can print on HP paper and you can pay subscription fees to HP yourself.
I call it IaaS (Information-Retention as a Service)
And even that R wasn’t retained.
Better than HP’s reliability, at least!
Fuckin Borg nanites
yet.
All the ones i’ve seen have sponges and waste tanks that still act as an expensive consumables.
I’ve had my Ecotank for years now, and I’ve never had to empty a waste tank or change a sponge. And I’ve only ever bought refills once.
They will, they will add a nano particle that is sensed by printer
Personally I think HP is missing the point focusing on putting drm on inkjet refills, it is only half committing to the business strategy.
The existence of a finished, printed paper begins at the moment of conception when the customer conceives of wanting to print a document. Really every step after that point (including the conception step itself) is monetizable by HP and more importantly rightfully owned as intellectual property of HP that you are technically stealing if you don’t follow through with actually printing the document on an HP printer.
HP is just leaving all of that money on the table, or maybe the printer market is just too heavily regulated for HP to innovate properly in a healthy free market.
Some HP executive: Write that down! WRITE THAT DOWN!
Ah sir, you ommm, made it so that every page of paper we use while working is deducted from our time off by HR (1 piece of paper = 10 minutes vacation time).
Whose paper should we use?
They should DRM every drop of ink.
100% Real DRM In Every Drop!
I would like to subscribe to more corporate monetization facts
Congratulations you are now subscribed to Business Facts.
As you’re friendly (and helpful!) algorithm how about I recommend you some similar content you might be interested in subscribing to such as unhinged rightwing political commentators outright calling for violence, batshit crazy conspiracy videos and vape pen reviews?
The problem is that they can’t control open source drivers. They could, however, release a printer that ran on proprietary closed source drivers. But they’d have to spend money on developers to maintain that code whereas right now, drivers are more or less stable and developed for free.
What they could do is require the use of HP printer paper, with embedded RFID or watermarks that would be readable by HP printers. I’m honestly surprised they haven’t gone down this road.
Some label makers do this
Some photo printers do
See this is exactly what I am talking about when I say HP is leaving money on the table here, when thinking about these topics you just utilized the intellectual property of the following products for self improvement, recreation and social benefit:
Economically Recoverable Use Of Products By Thought (ER-UOPBT)
Thus you are clearly already a customer of HP, and the exchange of HP giving your mind the imaginative capacity (Thought-As-A-Service) to visualize a printed document it is only reasonable to bundle with a subscription you pay to HP.
Are you going to tell me the US Supreme Court isn’t dumb enough to make this federal law? Also, if you think my joke was wayyy too much of a logical stretch to make any sense you should see what these people think about women and their bodies.