Just richest country in human history things
I see they moved on from telling us not to have avocado to toast to just not have any toast.
One more step and they’ll move onto what they actually want us to do.
no 25Q breakfast per 4 picoseconds
To not get murdered, die right now…
“Instead of seeking happiness, save money with misery”
Thank you, I’ve finally achieved Capitalist enlightenment! The secrets of capitalism are mine!
I’m not ready for esoteric capitalism
" Instead of seeking happiness, save money on pussy" <– what my GF read
I already don’t eat breakfast and I’m still poor, what now WSJ???
Sleep for dinner
Spare lunch?
Economists hate this one SECRET HACK you can do to avoid poordom. Among investmentology specialists it is a well guarded secret that switching to a making money framework instead of the popular losing money framework has a long term net positive effect on your private economy.
Of course, the answer was right in front of me! I just need to pull on those bootstraps harder
My bootstraps broke when I pulled them harder.
Turns out the local company that made bootstraps for 125 years was bought out by a hedge fund, which promptly fired all of the workers and subcontracted manufacturing to a company in Sri Lanka who could make them much cheaper by using inferior materials and by paying the Sri Lankan workers in 6 months what a fired local worker made in a day.
Ironically, the hedge fund CEO with the MBA he received as a legacy admission to Cornell only wears slippers because fuck you, I’m the boss.
Just eat once a week. Yuge savings
Skip lunch lol
Fasting 🤑
Save money and lose weight with this one easy trick.
I read it as monkey, and it didn’t make any sense.
You need less monkey if you skip breakfast. What’s not to understand?
That happens to me a lot too… And usually it’s the word that totally skews the meaning lol
“I’m holding your monkey hostage. If you can go one week without eating breakfast, I will return him unharmed.”
To save more money, stop eating lunch and dinner
Why even bother? Just stop eating
Next headline:
#Millennials are Killing the Food Industry
"They just eat “woke”
If you eat just after having woke, then that is literally called “breakfast”.
I’d expect nothing less from Rupert Murdoch’s little periodical.
Skip all meals and save even more!
If you don’t have enough money for bread, buy cake instead!
Aside from being tone deaf, I think this is bad advice. Common breakfast foods are fairly cheap comparatively and I’m pretty sure most nutritionists recommend eating something for breakfast to kickstart your metabolism. If I were skipping/reducing a meal, it would be lunch.
Gluconeogenesis does that well enough.
Plenty of people don’t eat breakfast. I’ll be nauseous for the rest of the day if I have anything before noon.
I’m the other way around, due to some of the medication I take. Gotta eat with it or I’ll have terrible stomach pains all morning.
Did I just find my people? I thought I was alone. Do I need to look that word up now fuck
It’s basically your liver (and kidneys) pushing glucose into your bloodstream when you wake up. It’s common across nearly all animals. It seems like if your body gets used to not having food first thing, the morning response becomes stronger, and your body takes longer to shift to glucolysis. Which might explain the nausea part if you aren’t used to eating first thing.
I stopped eating breakfast when I left home, so I’m pretty locked in to 2 or even 1 meal a day since I can’t be arsed to waste time eating at lunchtime most days anyway. I make up for it with coffee.
Wait, my condition has a name?
Best I can do is add some more milk to my coffee.
Hmm, lunch sandwiches are also pretty cheap compared to supper, maybe have lunch for supper then instead?
Have you seen the cost of deli meat lately?
Humans can live without food for up to 2 months, so to save even more money, just eat food every 1 month and 29 days!
nO bOdY iS bUyInG aNytHinG!!!
17 industries that millennials are killing; #11 will make you shit in your own mouth in anger!