Microsoft spent years and years trying to get people to not use Excel as a database, until they eventually had to give up hope that anyone who doesn’t know the difference would voluntarily use Access, so they started adding database-like functionality to Excel to meet their customer’s demands and try to make the experience at least a little bit less painful.
This is a real-life case of “meet the user where they are” despite the designer’s wishes, because even within Microsoft, there is strong agreement on not using Excel as a DB.
I only ever encountered Access was once many years ago and I was warned that it had issues with multiple users.
Well, to be fair to Access, it’s not like Excel is such a great multi-user database either, now is it? ;-)
Well excel nowadays doesn’t have issues with concurrent users if you have office 365 like many companies do.
At that time it was Access with the files located at a company shared drive, the issue was concurrent writes I believe.
3gb CSV file goes brrrr…
Last panel is wrong. Genie would just grant him an MBA from a top tier school
I once looked through a textbook from my friend’s MBA course. The first thing I noticed was in a highlighted box in the chapter on business negotiating: “Your skill at negotiating will affect the outcome of the negotiations.”
These are the people that make 10X what I make.
Are you sure that wasn’t the introduction to the Speech skill in Skyrim?
In Czech we say MBA means Mladý, Blbý, Arogantní - Young, Dumb, Arrogant.
I have an MBA and I can assure you, most are not young.
Depends. It’s a business here and there are lots of young people with MBAs and not enough experience to contextualise the things learned within the masters. I mean, some are even doing it post grad.
From my past experience with these types of people, I have a very low opinion on young people with MBAs. Business degree holders who want a shortcut to the top.
My comment was mostly a self deprecating joke, denying the only neutral part of the statement. But you’re right, wide range of ages in any business program.
You’ve probably had the experience of sharing the highways there with Germans cutting through your country to get to Austria and forgetting they were not on the Autobahn any more. I drove a rental car when I visited there years ago, and I’ve never had a more terrifying driving experience than looking in my rearview mirror and seeing empty road stretching back for miles, and two seconds later having a black BMW riding my ass and flashing its high beams at me.
It would be funnier if the genie says “there are two rules”
I learned this in my first statics class, and I have a BS in business administration.
Statics? They teaching yall physics?
They gave you some bs alright.
I imagine an alternate 4th panel wherein the genie says “ok you can bring back dead people.” What do yall think? Also I bet we could come up with a themed genie or setting that would punch up the joke too. ♡♡ love it BTW, op.
Japanese companies, this isn’t a wish, it’s a fundamental truth of the universe. Like gravity. No matter the scale or importance of them. I promise you your car exists because of an Excel 2003 file on some underpaid engineer’s laptop that they periodically sync with an inventory system.
I once worked for a Japanese company where I had to make a presentation. In Excel, I shit you not. Then we had one of our “shadow” managers make a Japanese translation of the same thing. It took me two days to get the kerning and print layout right, especially with that weird english typeface that is Japanese standard, I hate to think how long the translator took to get their version right.
What’s the typeface? I’m sorry, I know nothing.
I used to make a monthly document that was in English and Japanese. I used either Meiryo or Meiryo UI. That looked ok in both scripts but there is another font where the en looks shit. Or maybe I’m thinking of full width characters.
“I have to make a brochure for the printing shop and I’d like to compose it in Excel”
“There are actually five rules…”
“In Powerpoint?”
“Make that six.”
Except PowerPoint is actually quite nice to make quick, easy and good looking visualizations and brochures without having to deal with Word
Well, Word isn’t really a good choice either.
It’s the most approachable for most people. For real graphics design more professional tools are available
like Paint
Paint?
matplotlib
I can personally attest to entire universities advocating for student use of powerpoint for all sorts of printshop work to include thesis and capstone presentation posters for conferences :)
For people who don’t want to spend time learning yet another single-purpose application, it works quite well
Use Libreoffice Draw
This is basically what I run for a living and it’s definitely not glamorous.
I feel you. Working in healthcare, ms office is the only thing consistently installed site wide I can take advantage of to run a db.
I work as a network tech for a globally spanning ISP specializing in fiber services, handling major maintenances that are service effecting for business and government customers (SLAs are in effect). These maintenances are planned and tracked through various excel sheets - housed either in a shared network drive (so yeah, we may run into issues where multiple people are trying to edit the same doc at once), or excel tables in a SharePoint.
Prior to the merger of companies I recently went through, we had actual database systems to track this stuff that worked just fine. And now we’re relying on the same shit a grad student would use to track their doctorate progress. It’ll work until it doesn’t. Looking forward to the shit-show if it gets me overtime.
Employers get what they demand, what they deserve. Anyway excel works as a database until around 1 million entries…
Once you get to a million just start a new one and create a “master” spreadsheet that uses power query to append them all. Problem solved ;)
Don’t tell anyone but I actually do this.
Should’ve been the version saying:
Geanie: “It is done”
Person: “But… nothing changed”
G: “Correct”
Database? Good.
I use it to connect to another Excel “database” and generate a PDF form to print. No other way around unfortunately.
Isn’t the Genie usually depicted as malicious, or at least mischievous? I would expect the Genie to grant the wish, knowing what a shitshow it would be.
Don’t be gross, use CSV files
CSV is great but the byte loss on numbers is sometimes gruesome.
I mean it’s a simple file format so it’ll perform better because it doesn’t have to decode any complex formats or protocols.
Big O? Never heard of it!
Kind of related question: Is it okay for me to use JSON as a small DB? I just store basic blog page data there.
I mean it will work, but for a blog I’d store the pages in markdown files, to make it easier to edit. For context, look into how Hugo works
I thought of that as well. I might switch to that. It will make the organization better anyways.
TinyDB literally does this. in general its more of does this work for my use case and am i aware of its limitations.
yep, though IO might bottleneck you at some point, and then you can happily switch to mongoDB
then you can happily switch to mongoDB
A few circumstances to consider…
If it’s just your own little tool and you don’t intend to share it with others: do whatever you want. SQL or NoSQL or JSON, it doesn’t matter. Use your own judgement.
In my experience tho most homegrown JSON-based “databases” tend to load all data into the memory, simply because they are very simplistic (serialize everything into JSON and write to disk, deserialize everything into a struct). If your dataset is too big for that, just go straight for a full-fledged database.
Honestly, since the introduction of ‘tables’, pivot tables, Power Pivot and Power Query, Excel is way more viable to be used as a database. Tables in particular mean that formulas fill down and the range automically resizes when records are added.
Iirc tables are actually treated similar to databases on the backend.
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It can handle more than a million rows so why not?
A million rows sounds like a lot until you need more than that
Database2.xlsx
Database2_not_locked(1).xlsx
In my experience it doesn’t work well when you have more than a couple people editing the file. My company had a group of ten modifying the same file in live time; it led to huge desync problems.
I live in Excel hell and even that made me shudder. Just work on separate files and have a master spreadsheet append everything with power query.
I made a similar reply higher up and I fucking hate that that’s a solution but it legitimately would work in this use case. I frequently deal with 1M+ row data sets and our API can only export like 20k rows at a time so I have a script make the pulls into a folder and I just PQ to append the whole fucking folder into one data set. You don’t even have to load the table at that point, you can pull as-is from the data model to BI or make a pivot or whatever else you’re trying to do with that much data.
Parent company doesn’t want ANYONE to have direct read access to the database - only the scant few heavily formatted reports the user-facing software will allow. Data analysis still needs to get done though, so…
Yeah. PQ -> Data Model saves my ass and my co-workers think I’m a wizard.
That, and learning how to quietly exploit minor vulnerabilities in the software to get raw tables I “shouldn’t” have and telling not one soul has been a winning combo!
