Only tangentially related, but: I’m a school bus driver and a very popular name for kids these days is “Rhys”. I really enjoy asking them why they’re named after chocolate-covered peanut butter as it drives them crazy.

Put money in your 401k! Nothing else really matters as much.

Its pretty similar

No, that was the sequel.

Plot twist: Richard Gere was actually George Washington!

Nothing drives me as crazy as my phone constantly putting in “thus” instead of “this”. Nobody fucking ever uses the word “thus” in a text message.

Take WWII for instance, being neutral kind of says yeah we are cool with both sides.

Being literally surrounded by the Third Reich meant their choices were neutrality or actually joining up with Hitler, so they really can’t be criticized for choosing neutrality. They can be criticized for their actions during and after the war in helping the Nazi leaders squirrel away the wealth they stole from the Jews, something that was not necessary for a neutral nation to do.

I’d rather rip on Sweden which at least had some possibility of joining the Allies but instead supplied Germany with the high-quality iron ore they absolutely needed to keep their war machine running - the exact same thing they did in WWI. They also supplied Germany with much-needed ball bearings, but at least they sold them to the Allies as well.

Pat’s

Lol you get assaulted just for going to Pat’s.

The real crime is the peppers - you’d get assaulted if you ordered those here in Philly.

One Boeing 737 MAX = 6.5 million avocado toasts. You’d have to go without avocado toast for … uh … two weeks?

“The band’s called Dogstar … because we’re Sirius.”

Seriously, what’s next? We’re going to talk about the keyboardist?

I don’t remember if she was still married to Bruce Willis at this point, which was 2006 or thereabouts, but she was hanging out with Ashton Kutcher in Shreveport because I kept encountering the couple at restaurants and bars. Also had dinner with Ted Danson one evening because he was sitting alone at the table next to me and my friends reading a paperback book and looking sad and lonely so we invited him to join us - he’s actually a nice, normal, friendly guy.

I used to live in Shreveport LA where weirdly enough they shot a bunch of major motion pictures after production was moved there from New Orleans after hurricanes Katrina and Rita. One day I was walking to work downtown and outside my office building I passed a really scabbishly-dressed and overly made-up prostitute (not a common sight there). I kind of scowled at her and she gave me a what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you look as I passed by and went into the building. When I got to the office everybody was lined up at the windows and they told me that I had apparently walked through a movie set and that had been Demi Moore dressed as a prostitute (it was some movie with Kevin Costner playing a serial killer). They were all kind of outraged that I had interfered with the filming but I had the same attitude towards it that you did with Clooney. Like, why the fuck am I supposed to be happy about a film production interfering with my existence? I didn’t get any money out of the deal, and it wasn’t even a good movie.

9/11 is going to be the pivot that this entire century stumbles over

November 2000 was a bigger pivot - when Bush and the Republican Supreme Court simply took the Presidency.

Bush II even sent special flights around the US (during the no-fly period) to gather up Saudi citizens and transport them safely home. Imagine Roosevelt doing this for Japanese citizens on December 8th 1941.

6 cans of Coke (Sam’s cola ftw) a day

Damn, that is 960 calories a day of soda. If you’re an average-sized man, that represents 40% of your daily diet (around 2500 cal per day).

If I hadn’t promised mother on her deathbed that I wouldn’t kill you … I’d kill you.

It’s more likely that in the developed world we’ve eliminated most of the critters that look like this so we’re just not used to seeing them. People in Papua New Guinea aren’t skeeved out by this kind of bug - they snatch them up and eat them when they see them.

Sin barba, sin abdominales, sin Jesús.

Fun fact: in 1987 a young boy was killed and partially eaten by polar bears at a zoo in Brooklyn after he and two other children snuck into the enclosure. Donald Trump offered to pay for his funeral but then reneged.