Why YSK: These email tips are helpful for people who struggle with boundaries and want to communicate more assertively.
My personal ones for corporate use:
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Never use I when you can use we.
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Even if you’re the only one working on a project, never refer to it as yours. Always refer to it as ours.
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Don’t apologize, present solutions.
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Don’t say “read my fucking email again you goddamn illiterate moron”, say “As previously noted in our communications…”
The last one is particularly important if you like to eat.
So that’s where I’ve been going wrong at previous jobs. Definitely taking note.
Our company “russian anthem starts playing”
“Per my last email…”
good ‘ol corporate clap back
I will also attach old emails rather than repeat myself.
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For me personally, receiving a ‘just wanted to check in’ feels less aggressive than ‘when can I expect an update’
Otherwise I agree with the rest
One tip here is to remove “just” as it will come across as more confident. The use of “just” is often unnecessary and can come across as apologetic.
I don’t read it any differently with or without just. I’m not sure what you mean by apologetic or why that would be a bad thing.
Instead of either, I like asking if they have any further questions.
Agreed. The former sounds like “How’s it coming?” and the latter sounds like “What’s taking so long?”
The thank you for your patience one has always rubbed me wrong. There’s honor in apologizing in my opinion. I do like the making a mistake one though and I’ve tried to adopt that mentality when I’m working with QA on something I’ve merged. I want them to feel good about finding the mistakes and I want to avoid an adversarial relationship. I’ve learned that I get way better tickets from QA if they like how I treat them. Treat them like valuable experts and they’ll act like valuable experts.
“Thank you for your patience” should really come after an apology for the delay, depending on the reason. Owning up to the fact that you aren’t on schedule is not a failing at all, and acknowledging that your correspondent is dealing with the situation gracefully just serves to further smooth things over.
The thank you for your patience one has always rubbed me wrong.
I wouldn’t say wrong - it is disrespectful since I wasn’t patient by choice. You fucked up, you own it. But then I’m not a native speaker, maybe it just feels that way in my country.
I’m a native speaker, and it comes off as condescending to me.
I don’t like it, and will always apologize if it is my fault.
Honestly, I think its terrible advice lol. This is the type of shit that makes people not like management.
I think it definitely depends on your relationship with the recipient. While I do think most of those are better options, I wouldn’t say they’re necessarily what you should write.
Agreed, it is not always prudent to be overly assertive.
For example, I may be working with someone else on a project that is not time sensitive, but for my own planning I like to stay up to date on progress. I absolutely would reach out to someone with a “Just checking in, how are things going with X” because, well, that’s honestly all I’m doing. Checking in.
Meanwhile, saying “When can I expect an update?” is almost like saying “I don’t think you’re going fast enough and I’m getting impatient,” which sends the wrong type of message, makes me seem like a hardass, and might impact the quality of work if the other person suddenly feels rushed.
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Some of these are good, some are just needlessly assertive nonsense. Especially the two where it’s actively refusing to acknowledge fault or apologize for it, which is standard PR crap. Refusing to apologize and instead saying “thanks for your patience” is what I expect to hear from my ISP when they miss their scheduled install, not from a coworker.
There’s nothing wrong with being a normal human being that is capable of admitting their own shortcomings. If never saying sorry means “being a boss” then that explains why there’s so many sociopaths as CEOs.
“Hope that make sense?” Vs “Let me know if you have any questions.”
The latter is saying “here’s the explanation, figure it out, bother me again if you can’t”. The fromer, while poorly worded, is being helpful, actively attempting to make sure the person understands before leaving them to it. It’s both a kindness and doing your due diligence.
I’m so happy to see a sane comment at the top here. So many of these are just stupid and border on alpha male don’t take not shit or admit fault crap.
I think it goes the other way too. For people that tend to apologize too much, even when it’s not their fault, mixing in a “thanks for your patience” is a good way to balance it out a bit.
I’m torn. I feel like admitting guilt and owning up to your failures is a virtue, but I’m not sure the rest of the world agrees with me
Neurotypical enough to read body language, neurodivergent enough to never understand why
I’m with you. Just being honest about a failure is fine. Doesn’t have to be a dramatic apology, just an acknowledgment with a bit of regret perhaps.
That makes sense. I think that’s a different issue than I was thinking. Ultimately if it’s a sincere comment I think that’s the most important thing.
Seriously… and oftentimes just combining both works better. “Hey sorry I’m late, I appreciate you all being patient” or “Hope that all makes sense, but please feel free to ask any questions if they come up”
Agreed! It’s like…. You know we’re emailing other people too right? Not everyone is a delicate fucking flower that needs to be coddled. Yes there are better ways to word stuff, but typing as a medium often just leaves too much up to interpretation. A difficult conversation should be discussed on a call.
“Thank you for your patience” gives me such a visceral reaction, lol
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For some of us with a tendency to overapologize, learning to say thank you instead at times is helpful.
I greatly prefer some of the “wrong” ones. Not everyone needs to talk like a corporate robot.
While most of these are a good rule of thumb, I disagree with ‘Always Happy to Help.’ > ‘No Problem.’
‘I’m Always Happy to Help’ is a fine response, if you’re actually willing to make your time available for the recipient at the drop of a hat. Sometimes that’s called for, but I would only reserve it for a few very specific circumstances. I also don’t see an issue with saying ‘no problem’ most of the time. There are situations where something a little more formal is called for, but 90% of the time ‘no problem’ should work imho.
I feel like “always happy to help” is one of those London Lies ™(how do I do superscript?) …that might not work in another environment that’s not so superficially polite while simultaneously devastating rude. If the sender is in London, “always happy to help” can be transliterated as " I did your work for you, now fuck right off"
It’s also a generational thing: everyone around me up to the mid 30s uses “no problem” to indicate that the request/help was of little bother so the requester shouldn’t feel bad for asking, which can sometimes annoy the people who say “you’re welcome” instead.
“Happy to help”, to me, suggests a greater eagerness than just being kind.
Saying It’d be easier to discuss in person comes off as “I can’t legally put this in writing because it’s against your contract” and not “this is hard to word/explain.” Lol. This is straight PR shit.
This was created by a comic creator with ADHD. A lot of these are helpful for people with loose time boundaries.
Depends on who says it and whether they document it after. I do meet up to discuss when I have a lot of questions that will likely lead to questions, but I summarize it in a reply to the email so it is in writing.
A past jerk of a boss used the same phrase to mean what you said, but since he didn’t put anything in writing none of the rants he called discussions mattered as he couldn’t use them against me.
I hate people doing that. It means that they can’t be bothered to think about their problem and what it actually is that they want from me.
If you can’t put it in words, you can’t put it in words. Changing the medium from mail to sound won’t help. Thinking will.
that’s not necessarily what it means. some things legitimately are easier to explain in person. ever try working out a complicated mathematical argument in an email? one can do it, but it’s not pretty. in person you can write on paper, draw figures, etc., synchronously with your compatriot observing and even participating. it’s not merely a change of medium from text to sound.
Sounds like you need a better maths plugin, not a personal meeting.
In a personal meeting you instantly get feedback on what the other understands and what needs in-depth explanation, and they can ask questions. It’s nothing like an email conversation.
I never open email. Work is so much easier.
A man after my heart.
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Thats an impressive feat.
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How?
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All of these are really good examples of writing a good email, except the bottom left one.
The “wrong” example is perfectly fine, and the “correct” example is pretty rude unless you’re a project manager addressing your team. Even if you were a project manager, it’s still pretty rude.
I totally agree, bottom left one screams of project manager that scheduled too much in your sprint and they’re pressuring you to finish everything asap
Also it depends on if the person holding you up is the client or some other employee at your company.
Often it is the client the holding you up. In which case the best thing to do is send them an email about a week before the actual target date just to remind them, especially if they’ve done this before.
First rule of email: don’t use comic sans font.
It’d be easier to discuss in person
Hold on, hold on, they must have put something crazy in the coffee this morning
“Ping me, ping me!”
“Remember Roger? I took him offline so hard he left the industry.”
