my bunghole, it hurt
Lmao i love how we already have lemmy lore
I like the alliteration of Lemmy lore.
Hahaha fr its starting to feel like home.
Reddit had narwhals and midnight, we have strict dietary guidelines.
Another Lemmy meta moment was when someone asked whether bathing was environmentally friendly. To be clear, I think it’s a perfectly legitimate question worth our attention, but I also found it kinda funny. That’s why I made a meme of it. Here it is: https://lemmy.ml/post/75282
What in the world did I miss
Someone posted earlier asking for the best means to not poop (and other requirements) for three days. Welcome to the next front page of the internet!
Nothing yet. But in two more days, something hot is going to drop.
If you strain hard enough, you can practically smell it already.
Someone yesterday posted a question: Will be in a confined place for 3 days, cannot poop in that time, and will have to limit urination. What can I eat that won’t make me poop/will inhibit pooping, would be great if the food reduced sweating too. Don’t ask why.
Edit: found it!
https://kbin.social/m/asklemmy@lemmy.ml/t/78689/I-need-to-survive-for-3-days-without-pooping-and
Did you know pooping is actually illegal in Montana on Tuesdays?
It’s true. I’ve reported so many to the secret poop police. They’re always laughing at first like it’s not serious, up until they break down the bathroom door. Not so funny in a Montana gulag, is it?
Bitches be thinking it’s Wednesday. Naw. It’s poop jail for u!!!
I still need to know the details on this.
!remindme
Remindsyou
https://kbin.social/m/asklemmy@lemmy.ml/t/84271/I-need-to-survive-for-3-days-while-pooping-as#comments this
That’s a followup parody I believe. The original was a post asking how not to poop at all for 3 days.
The only things I can think of is that they’re trying to ship themselves somewhere, or doing some next level stalker shit. Otherwise you’d just say the reason right? Gotta be something illegal/dangerously stupid to post that question with the “don’t ask why” added at the end. It’s either that or sex stuff.
I’m pretty sure it’s a mental block using an outhouse or porta potty.
Yeah, just found the post again. Checked it out yesterday before OOP added the edits. I’m happy they clarified some things, but now it just seems boring lol.
I just have more questions after the edits
Maybe they’re trying to make this
urban legendhoax a reality.
They have bad hemorrhoids, thats the only thing I can think of
One time me and my girlfriend (now wife) went to visit my grandparents at their winter home in Texas. I say home, but it was just their RV that they drove down in the winter to avoid the snow. Anyway, It didn’t want to blow up the RV with a huge steamy log, so I held it in for a few days. On the night of the 4th day, we ended up going to a swimming pool. While changing into my swimsuit in the locker room, I realized they had nice toilets there and it would be a good opportunity to unload.
I don’t know what I was expecting, but for some reason I wasn’t planning on 4 days worth of shit coming out at once. Not like soft, mushy turds, but one big strong firm log that just kind of piled up in the bowl like a shit pile pyramid.
I tried to give it a courtesy flush before I wiped, as is my custom, but that puppy was too big to go down. Seeing it was in a public toilet, it’s not like I had a plunger or anything. I tried flushing a few more times, but the water was getting dangerously high in the bowl and I didn’t want to deal with a turd water tsunami. So I had no choice but to leave it and duckwalk over to another stall where I could wipe my asshole before fleeing the scene.
So yeah. I guess my apologies to whoever had to eventually deal with that at the Brownsville Texas RV park circa 2005.
This is why you ALWAYS carry a poop knife
Brownsville Texas
Apt I guess
Lovely! Lemmings united by pooping stories! The moment we all are most vulnerable at.
Goddamn, thanks for sharing am I the only one that goes regular at least once a day. Now that I am in my 40’s I go at least twice a day.
Why is this a meme now 😭
Because it’s hilarious, especially with no context. You shouldn’t share things on the Internet you don’t want made into memes.
I mean… I don’t mind. It’s an honour to be part of the Lemmy lore.
It’s an honour to have you. :)
Exactly! We are happy to have you here
I gotta say, I love your attitude. Good luck with the next week!
you sent the guy his own post lol
lol, I didn’t even look at who OP was. This is perfect.
That’s them.
You’re the hero Lemmy deserves
I think it’s because you refuse to tell anyone why you want to do this 😂
Who’s hyped for no poop July?
I want to go back to Reddit now
July for Gastroenterologists is like April for American Accountants.
Pop some opioids, gets you to day 2 with ease.
EEEAAASY. I am pretty sure I have gone weeks when I was at my worst lol.
Had to stick my finger up there and help them out back in those days.
Poop knife, fork, everything. Toilet = perpetual clog. Running out of public bathrooms ashamed.
Holy hell
New meta just dropped
I hate turc style toilets. And as a son of Moroccan immigrant we always went to Morocco 2 months a year. We were alternating between my grandmother’s house (with turc style toilets) and our house (Western style toilets) every 3 or 4 days. I’ve always tried my best to take a dump in our house. But for some reason we once stayed at my grandmother’s house for like 10 days. It was horrible to live through. I made the trip back to our house just to unload myself. A fricking log came out. Very very painful. As I was losing weight, I stopped in the middle of it because I felt different kind of pain. I was fricking bleeding. So I finished very painfully and I took my time to not do more damage. It was still hurting avec a week. TL;DR : I bled from my anus because I’m afraid of turc style toilets.
I’m not familiar with turc style toilets, so I did a Google, and I’m still not sure what I’m looking at here. Could you explain how it works? I figure you are supposed to squat over it (which sounds sensible, I mean westerners buy those goofy squatty potty things to awkwardly emulate this) but I don’t understand what the bucket is for? Or why there’s a spigot at the floor level a meter away from the toilet?
Please have mercy on a confused westerner who wants to understand 😅
It’s very simple. You squat over a tiny hole (which get clogged easily) and then you wash yourself with water. Of course as a westerner too, I was using toilet paper (which clogged the thing more), so yeah fun times.
One time I was at a camp in 7th grade for a week (a religious Christian camp) where my friend and I were NOT religious, so we were being bullied. I was so deathly afraid of getting bullied while taking a shit that I didn’t poop until the 6th day. I honestly barely remember it but I snuck out in the night just to take a shit, and it was absolutely horrendous. Pretty sure it felt like trying to pass a big old hard fruit or something, it was the worst and took forever. 2/10 Do not recommend.
That’s the worst part about being constipated. Like it should be instant needed relief, but its just a trickle and not a torrent.
Lemmy’s collective 2.9 day turtle head poking out is gonna be epic
I was in the middle of one when i came across this meme, I lost before i could even start 😞
👏👏👏
i unironically shit like once a week, maybe two times a week max. so i don’t understand what the fuss is all about
You should really consider paying your doctor a visit dude
I’ve always been the same
My brother was a weird child and did that too. The smell is compressed into one sitting if you did not know.
Sounds like you need fiber
Despite what the other comments say, this can be perfectly acceptable if this is has always been usual for you.
Yep, normal range is 3x a day to every 3 days. More or less is possible but that should be checked by a doctor. If it was always once every 5-7 days it’s probably nothing and normal for you. If something changes about the rhythm then go see a doctor and that can mean you’re one of the once every 3 days people and now you poop daily. Even if it’s inside the range, go see a doctor!
And one myth: if your body is the slow type like every 2-3 days or even 3-5 days fibre and stuff won’t help, it’s just a heavier poop (in weight) after 5 days than usual.
