Fueling our cars with tacos would indeed be a lot cheaper than gasoline, but unfortunately the emissions from low Taco-Bell-grade fuel would accelerate global warming

Tonight. YOU.

That’s because it probably was

Fuckin, way she goes

It’s a schooner!

There was a VHS passed around my high school, cleverly disguised with both the sleeve and sticker for the comedy classic “Airplane!” but was in fact Jenny McCarthys Playboy video. There’s enough in that previous sentence to sufficiently approximate my age haha

I accidentally activated this in the grocery store like 2 weeks ago and had no idea how I’d done it until just now seeing this thread. My phone started beeping loudly and counting down on the screen and it freaked me the hell out because I had no idea what was going on. People were looking at me like I was about to detonate a bomb or something! As soon as it finished and starred to dial 911 automatically I hung it up before a ring, but goddamn it was concerning to me and those around me. What the hell, Android?