This is what I do. I have a VPS that handles all the 443 traffic and then proxies it back to my home server on the correct port. I also just serve some things directly from the VPS since I have it already. It also works well to have a second box for things like uptime monitoring.
I think that user donations are easier when an instance has a good focus. There are some other instances I can think of where the donation model has been enough to cover things. In addition to feddit.dk and beehaw, an instance I use most of the time, ani.social, is more than covered by donations last I checked.
It looks like @hitagi@ani.social even took away the donate link in the sidebar.Never mind, I am just blind. I didn’t notice the little Ko-fi badge at the bottom. I was looking for a text link.