An incident which saw two women lock a crying toddler in an aeroplane toilet has sparked an online debate in China on how to manage children in public spaces.
The incident went viral on the Chinese internet after one of the two women, Gou Tingting, posted a video of herself carrying the girl inside the cubicle.
In her post, she presented herself as trying to help others on board, but was swiftly met with backlash.
To clarify a bit: I DO think that what this woman did was child abuse. But not specifically because she locked the kid in a bathroom. Because she did it for a social media audience.
For some context, I use what is often called “gentle parenting” (although I think it’s just what I would call “parenting if you’re humane and responsive to the needs of a child”). So I would never do this. But I also am very aware of the feeling of helplessness that comes from having a child in distress and having exhausted every remedy I know. I am familiar with the logic that a child who is screaming is doing so for attention, and will stop when their behavior isn’t being tolerated. Putting a child into a time out until they stop doing something is not a radical approach. If I saw someone do this on a plane, I wouldn’t immediately consider it abusing a child.
HOWEVER: if I saw this lady chatting animatedly into her phone’s front facing camera while dragging a distressed kid (to whom she’s not addressing her attention) toward a lavatory, I’d immediately think, ‘Oh fuck: is that one of those people who turns every moment into a social media opportunity? That kid needs rescued.’
I think it’s an omission that the article didn’t recognize this. This woman didn’t just put a kid in a bathroom to try to get them to calm down (dumb idea, but not abuse by itself, imo). She did all that while talking to strangers and saying, ‘Hey everyone! Look at me! Look AT MEEE!’
THAT is what makes it abuse.