• prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 months ago

    Because statistics are real, and you should learn how they affect you (or don’t) in practical ways.

    I don’t know where you live, but if you’re in the US, unless you’re walking through shitty neighborhoods in the most violent areas in your state starting shit, or asking to get jumped, then it’s extremely unlikely that you will ever be mugged. Ever.

    It is very easy to make yourself not a target while walking in urban areas. Just basic common sense shit like stop looking at your phone and stay alert. Don’t be a target, and people will leave you tf alone. It really is that simple for men.

    I am not a big man. I live and work in a pretty shitty area, and not once have I ever felt in danger.

    It must suck to be so terrified of everything all of the time.

    • sudneo@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      All the crimes I have mentioned are statistically way more likely than sexual assaults, a crime that notoriously happens mostly within one’s home. So what you just said seems to me completely in antithesis with the original message.

      Also, I completely disagree with your assessment. I live in a perfectly safe city and country, but when I travel I sometimes also go in worse areas, and most importantly I don’t even know whether I am in a “bad neighborhood” or not, because I don’t know the place. Hence I worry for my personal safety, which is exactly what prompts for those basic measures that you listed (and more), such as not flashing wealth unnecessarily. You do this exactly because you are aware that man or not you can be victim of such crimes just as much. In fact, statistics show that men are more likely to be victims of violent crimes in general, so I am not really sure where your core thesis come from.

      Also worrying is not being terrified, is understanding a risk exists and taking precautions. Either way, this idea that as a man you have nothing to worry about is completely idiotic.

      • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        3 months ago

        How did so many people become this brain broken? Is this just narcissism? Just complete inability to understand a situation that doesn’t affect you directly?

        As a (not large or imposing) man who has spent years of his life in various major US cities, I have never once feared for my safety while in public. Unless there are specific, disconcerting, circumstances that warrant it. Never just a general unease or worry about mugging or physical, let alone sexual, assault. I have literally witnessed women get harassed and groped by men in public. The same men that I had just walked by without even a second glance.

        Women fear for their safety around men in public, and rightfully so. Period. It’s so fucking bizarre that anyone would ever try to argue against this. The statistics you’re quoting (and likely making up, but I don’t care enough about this to look) aren’t really relevant, I’m talking about real women’s real life experience.

        Again, talk to women. Or if you can’t do that, read what actual women have to say about this subject. Do you not value the opinions of women? Do you not believe them when they speak about their personal experiences?

        • sudneo@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          Women fear for their safety around men in public, and rightfully so. Period. It’s so fucking bizarre that anyone would ever try to argue against this.

          I am not. I am arguing against the fact that men don’t (need to) worry about their safety in public. It’s such a cartoonish way to think. You don’t worry, good for you!

          The statistics you’re quoting (and likely making up, but I don’t care enough about this to look) aren’t really relevant, I’m talking about real women’s real life experience.

          So one comment ago you were telling me to look at statistics, now it’s real life experience that matters.

          BTW, just search and you will find data, for example https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/recorded-crime-victims/latest-release, https://www.statista.com/statistics/423245/us-violent-crime-victims-by-gender/ (which shows 2022 is essentially identical, but quite a gap in 2021), etc. Note that I am searching generic violent crimes. In terms of murders men are quite universally in higher number.

          Again, talk to women. Or if you can’t do that, read what actual women have to say about this subject. Do you not value the opinions of women? Do you not believe them when they speak about their personal experiences?

          This has nothing to do with my argument. I am not contesting women (need to) fear for their personal safety in public. If I were a woman there would be a host of additional things I would worry about. What I am contesting is the way you present this fact, as if the difference between men and women was a 0-100 difference, when it’s not.

          I don’t really see the reason to make up bullshit exaggerations to drive a point that stands on its own without them. Women have to worry and do worry differently, both in terms of quality and quantity than men when they go in public. There are certain risks that in public are fairly irrelevant for men, which doesn’t mean “men have nothing to worry about”. There are also certain risks that are much smaller for women (e.g., getting into a fight in a bar because some dude’s ego was hurt and needs to assert being the alpha).

          Why is it necessary for you to make a completely unrealistic assertion (which BTW disregards my opinion as man while talking about men, so “Do you not value the opinions of women? Do you not believe them when they speak about their personal experiences?” cit.) to support a very reasonable thesis? Do you think people can appreciate the safety issue for women only if they contrast it with a completely opposite (i.e., no issue at all) situation for what concerns men?

          • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            3 months ago

            You’re right. You’re just as much a victim as any woman.

            There, did you get what you wanted? Think you’re gonna be ok?

            • sudneo@lemm.ee
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              3 months ago

              Nobody talked about victims. I was just contesting your BS exaggeration. But I see you can only discuss in absolutes and you decided to simply ignore every single point I made and flip the table with all the cards.

              You must be really unsure about your ideas if you can’t defend them at all.

              YOU made it sound like reality is either you going around in complete peace and bliss without any danger whatsoever (man) or in complete terror with a deathly danger behind every corner (woman). Challenging this barbie view of the world is not aiming to flatten the differences (which I acknowledged since the beginning) between men and women.

              So yeah, nice try but no. Maybe reflect on your position and admit you used an hyperbolic statement next time, I dunno, it might work better than strawmen and moving the goalpost.