• Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.worldOP
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    3 months ago

    1.) I could give two shits about what the internet thinks on any given subject.

    2.) I am not movitivated to use the internet for fun things like gaming, anymore.

    3.) I want to crawl into a hole and fall asleep forever listening only to the humming of a sweet old lady.

    4.) I look into my own eyes and see nothing.

    5.) … I dunno… I check the fridge for cheese more often then I check my own text messages.

    6.) I took up smoking again and I don’t even feel bad about the possible slow torturous death of lung cancer that awaits me.

    7.) If I hear a child I am instantly annoyed(please don’t hate me I don’t have any kids of my own)

    8.)I cannot write any

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyz
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      3 months ago

      I’mma go with number two for a sure bet, could be number one too, but number two for sure

    • BassTurd@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      A rollercoaster. It was dropping until the cheese thing, which I think is just normal, unspoken behavior. Sounds to me like a bout of depression, or at least what I think is depression. I 100% get the same lethargy to life, and it tends to come in waves.

      If you haven’t, I’d look at having a chat with a professional. I’m not a good role model for this, but I have pushed through the lulls more times than I care to admit, and it gets tougher every year. The negative thoughts set in and create this negative feedback loop that makes functioning difficult, and digs a hole that’s hard to climb out of.

      Anecdotally, if this is new to you, it doesn’t make for a happy life. I’m working to get help, but there are roadblocks. I would encourage you to try the same. If it doesn’t help, then you can cross that bridge later. If it does, then you’ll be in a much better place and the light will shine again.

      …or the Internet really is just shitty.

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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      3 months ago

      You’ve got a real way with words. I really like number 3.

      So what do you do for fun if not internet or gaming?? Read books? Lol (jk I like books, but they’re a more subtle fun)

    • somnuz@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      I don’t want to fuck up your depression status or anything like that, but being this honest with yourself sounds sort of cool… in a way… you know?

      It sounds like a beginning of something or… a wave.