It’s really easy, say your name is Tom, and I start calling you Stacy all the time, you’re going to get bothered by it eventually at best
Or downright fuming at worst. It literally takes you nothing to use the right nouns/pronouns.
But if it’s a requested change, how put out are you by it? It’s still the same human that you respect and appreciate. And if you respect and appreciate them, you’d adhere to their request. That’s what loyalty is
To address the first one. You assume that everybody uses language the same way that you do. That conforming to your demands in this is as preferable for them as it is for you.
It’s funny, english people are given names at birth, and we use those names. And when they want to go by something else, we’re ok with it (nick names), that’s how the English language is used by the overwhelming vast majority so yes, the only gigantic assumption here is that the majority of English speakers don’t speak that way.
And when they want to go by something else, we’re ok with it (nick names)
You know who’s not fine with it? People who care more about themselves than they care about others.
I had a friend named John who, later in life, asked to be called his given name, Jonathan. For the friend group and most of his family, it was a bit hard to remember at first, but we did it because we cared about him. For some of his family, it was another matter - they fought against it with excuses, questioning, and “forgetfulness”. Only after being assertive, defending himself again and again, did they respect his wishes. And this was a cis male asking to be called his give name because he felt he was at a new stage of his life. The difference was that one part of his family cared more about themselves than they did about Jonathan.
Some of us have an abundance of care to fellow humans, and we give it freely. Some are too inconvenienced by things that they don’t like, or doesn’t fit their conventions that they say, “You can’t make me respect you!” or “Respecting you is making me less free!” And they do so because they care less about the people they interact with than themselves.
I’m guessing OP is a troll btw. Anyone serious on this topic would have written a manifesto. Thanks for getting me writing though! 😋
It’s really easy, say your name is Tom, and I start calling you Stacy all the time, you’re going to get bothered by it eventually at best Or downright fuming at worst. It literally takes you nothing to use the right nouns/pronouns.
But if it’s a requested change, how put out are you by it? It’s still the same human that you respect and appreciate. And if you respect and appreciate them, you’d adhere to their request. That’s what loyalty is
Not put out at all. Even if I don’t respect and appreciate them. I will use the name they want. Loyalty has nothing to do with this.
Ok. Then respect
That’s a large assumption, and a presumptuous demand.
Do not assume. Do not demand. Mind your manners. Everybody around you will appreciate it.
It’s not, and it’s not. Correct, false, Correct, Correct.
To address the first one. You assume that everybody uses language the same way that you do. That conforming to your demands in this is as preferable for them as it is for you.
That’s a pretty gigantic assumption.
It’s funny, english people are given names at birth, and we use those names. And when they want to go by something else, we’re ok with it (nick names), that’s how the English language is used by the overwhelming vast majority so yes, the only gigantic assumption here is that the majority of English speakers don’t speak that way.
You know who’s not fine with it? People who care more about themselves than they care about others.
I had a friend named John who, later in life, asked to be called his given name, Jonathan. For the friend group and most of his family, it was a bit hard to remember at first, but we did it because we cared about him. For some of his family, it was another matter - they fought against it with excuses, questioning, and “forgetfulness”. Only after being assertive, defending himself again and again, did they respect his wishes. And this was a cis male asking to be called his give name because he felt he was at a new stage of his life. The difference was that one part of his family cared more about themselves than they did about Jonathan.
Some of us have an abundance of care to fellow humans, and we give it freely. Some are too inconvenienced by things that they don’t like, or doesn’t fit their conventions that they say, “You can’t make me respect you!” or “Respecting you is making me less free!” And they do so because they care less about the people they interact with than themselves.
I’m guessing OP is a troll btw. Anyone serious on this topic would have written a manifesto. Thanks for getting me writing though! 😋
edit: a comma.
Haha you’re welcome! I’m glad you took the time to write it out, as it was good to read. Thank you!
“Can you call me this instead?”
“NO. I WILL CALL YOU WHAT I DEEM CORRECT!”
Mind manners indeed. I wonder if you can even conceptualize being in their shoes and being treated like that.