• AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Because when they break up she has nothing and he has her money in the form of equity. Splitting consumption bills is obviously good, but splitting a mortgage where one party gets it all is far less cut and dry.

    If that’s all up front and she agrees then whatever but the scenario in the meme is pretty scummy

    • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Not to say that the deception is shitty, but she’d be in the same situation as if she rented a place. It’s a little out there to expect equity when all you did was cohabitate for a period, it’s the exact same thing as renting a room or something.

      • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        The difference is a rental agreement and generally people in relationships aren’t expected to be in a landlord tenant situation. If this was just your friend then sure

    • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Because when they break up she has nothing and he has her money in the form of equity. Splitting consumption bills is obviously good, but splitting a mortgage where one party gets it all is far less cut and dry.

      The person renting (man or woman, if the situation was reversed on gender) has no responsibility for maintenance or liability to the house. If the renter is paying rent, they should also have no responsibility to pay for any house maintenance. Roof needs replacing? Homeowner pays, renter pays nothing. Fridge goes out? Homeowner pays, renter pays nothing. Mail carrier slips on ice and sues? Homeowner need to defend themselves, renter pays nothing. If the renter wants to break up and move to Alaska, renter can do exactly that with 30 days or less notice. Homeowner would need to go through all the trouble of evicting and selling the property to do the same.

      • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        She’s not renting though as there’s no rental agreement. She’s just throwing money into the equity. This is a relationship, not a landlord tenant arrangement.

        • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          It doesn’t matter if there isn’t a written lease. Its still very much a rental arrangement. No law enforcement will hold her liable for being a homeowner. No law will compel her to pay for a new roof for his house, should it need it. In fact, if she’s been there more than 30 days she’ll likely have many legal protections a renter has, such as protection from being thrown out without formal eviction.

          • irmoz@reddthat.com
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            1 year ago

            It doesn’t matter if there isn’t a written lease. Its still very much a rental arrangement.

            That’s sorta the issue. You shouldn’t treat your SO as a tenant.

            • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              I would hope you treat your SO as an equal partner, but that also means healthy boundaries equal to where the relationship is at the time. If one doesn’t pay rent, but pays toward the mortgage, and you break up instead of getting married, do you expect the home owner partner to cut the other partner a check to cash them out of their “equity”? How is that fair to the homeowner?

            • cheesemonk@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              If only one of you owns the house then that’s what they are. It’s obviously going to vary case by case but one person has a mortgage, and all the responsibilities that come with it, and the other can cut and run any time. It would be pretty unfair to the homeowner if the SO got all the benefits of renting and buying.

            • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Then please complete your argument. One person is contributing money into the equity of the house without ownership, and I believe you’re arguing that is unfair, because the homeowner its benefiting.

              What actions are you proposing is fair to the non-homeowner that doesn’t make it unfair to the homeowner?

    • ch00f@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      We specifically split the interest portion of my mortgage. It changes every payment obviously, so we just rounded it and adjusted it every year or so.

      5 years later we’re getting married, so it’s all moot.

      • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        Oh that’s totally different. Interest splitting is fine imo because that’s basically just bank rent

    • BoofStroke@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      My gf pays half the mortgage. She lives here. She uses everything. She helps with bills. This is a lot less expensive than if she were paying rent elsewhere.

      She also didn’t contribute to: new fridge, new kitchen floor (damage from old fridge), new bathroom ceiling (mold damage), new driveway, new garage, tree removal and trimming, new door (that broke when she failed to latch it in high wind), and all other house stuff.

      asking half the mortgage when the burden of all the rest is on you is not asking a lot.

      • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        Sounds more like a landlord tenant relationship then. Maybe if it’s a girl you met six months ago then sure, but if your girlfriend helps with your mortgage for a few years and ends up with zero equity then you scumbagged her.

      • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        Yeah but charging a partner rent is kinda shitty. It’s supposed to be an equitable partnership that benefits both parties. Otherwise why have a partner?

        • DMmeYourNudes@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          It’s supposed to be an equitable partnership that benefits both parties. Otherwise why have a partner?

          if 2 people live in a place, 2 people should pay the rent. that is equality. you’re advocating for the woman to not pay the rent because she’s a woman in the meme.