I think 7 years? I browsed reddit for a while before that reading up on my interests but eventually I created an account. Spent a LOT of time on subs for people who were abused as children. Therapy was used against me as part of the abuse. I am triggered by therapists now -.-" so these online self help spaces were a major part of my journey to understand and start recovery. It became a cornerstone to help me become a person.

Eventually several of these subs had a lot of internal drama. Back then I felt fealty to these communities and tried super hard to fix it. No avail. In a way I did my reorienting and mourning my lost community back then. I cut back on reddit use like 80% already going from many hours a day to maybe a few times a week? I’d still engage if something caught my attention. Especially in the refugee subs about childhood abuse that sprung up.

The recent protests brought that down to “only if I need some specific information”. Maybe twice a month? I don’t engage at all anymore. I also didn’t feel like talking to a brick wall again to attempt to fix an online place. The rhethoric and even some methods between spez and some mods I tangled with is similar enough. I just left this time around. Let my actions speak. I can’t bring my self to delete my comments tho.

I still miss a place where people intuitively get what I’ve been through because they have similar stories. And I’d like to pass it forward some more. I haven’t found anything similar on the fediverse yet. But I’m in a place where I don’t need it much anymore. It’s still just sad that a handful of humans can destroy communities like this. It had such a big impact on my life.

Thanks for reading my sad ramblings!