🤗 I’m sorry your having such a tough time… Everything is temporary. I know it feels hard right now… Don’t make a permanent solution to these temporary problems… Things will change. Keep going. Best of luck to you. 🤗
It’s funny how when you’re doing okay a message like that doesn’t feel like much from a stranger, but his a lot deeper when you’re feeling at the end of your rope, I appreciate your kindness and compassion. It’s just gotten worse and worse every year, I had stability at one time and I was an equal contributer, but I just feel like complete shit about myself constantly and nothing seems to go right. My vehicle which I’m still paying a loan on has been in a mechanics shop for 3 months, the car that I had been borrowing developed a major oil leak and can’t be driven so I am stuck getting rides across town with no decent bussing options (which I’ve admittedly never taken a public bus out of anxiety), my credit cards which I got initially to help my fiance with things have gone unpaid for about 6 months with daily calls from collectors, and whatever else I can’t bring to mind right now, but it’s all just a decline no matter how hard I try or how decent of a person I try to be to everyone I interact with in my life. And on top of that most of my friends haven’t talked to me in years and the one good friend I do talk to every few months or so has her own life and issues to deal with, I have no family anywhere near me and have a bad relationship with my father, my mother is wonderful but I feel even worse dumping my troubles on her because she has no way to help me from across the country and with her extremely limited resources and I know it makes her feel like she failed as a parent because she couldn’t provide me with the things she thinks she should have (I don’t blame her a bit, she really is a wonderful person), which means the only person who I can talk to about anything going wrong in my life is the love of my life who is being embittered towards me by every compounding issue. I recently got back on ADHD meds after being off them for a decade or more and it’s only seemed to serve to make me have energy and no appetite, but not help me that much, I want to try antidepressants for the first time in my life, but the doctors don’t make it easy, it was a struggle just to get on the ADHD meds even though I had taken Adderall for 5+ years in the past. It’s just overwhelming and never ever seems to let up. I can’t play video games any more, television just seems to fade into the background as I’m consumed by horrible thoughts constantly.
Do you have insurance or, if not, does your state provide Medicaid to low income individuals? If you have private insurance I would recommend looking up therapists and maybe even psychiatrists who are covered by your insurance. If you have Medicaid your county probably has a behavioral health department that can provide some help.
If no to both, you can call 9-8-8 and ask for behavioral health resources that are available. in your area. You can also call that number to talk about your depressing and self harming thoughts if you feel like you want to give your friends and family a break.
Thank you, I have my states ACA insurance which is the only way I’ve seen a doctor (hadn’t seen one in about 15 years before last month). I had never heard about that phone number, I might give it a call later, thank you so much.
Your situation really sucks. The most important part is to tell yourself you can be happy again, even if it feels very far away right now. Being happy is the best thing there is, and worth a lot of effort and tough times to get to again.
Life gets overwhelming. You don’t need to see the whole staircase to take the first step. You’re doing your best. Be sure to talk about your feelings with your SO.
There is a mentalhealth community. As you’ve said, sometimes it is really good to write stuff down. Best of luck to you my friend.
Thank you, I have talked to her a lot, but she has valid reasons. I have not been an equal contributer and the weight of everything has been on her for too long, I would do anything in my power to not lose her, but what NEEDS to happen just doesn’t seem to. I know I need back in to see my doctor and see if she can get me on an antidepressant, but the number one thing I need is sadly just money. My income, even though I bust my ass for it, feels like drops in a very very large bucket. Thanks again.
Talking to your doctor about an amtidepressant sounds like a very good step. They generally take a few weeks to start working, so don’t wait too long if you want to have a sunny disposition by xmas.
🤗 I’m sorry your having such a tough time… Everything is temporary. I know it feels hard right now… Don’t make a permanent solution to these temporary problems… Things will change. Keep going. Best of luck to you. 🤗
It’s funny how when you’re doing okay a message like that doesn’t feel like much from a stranger, but his a lot deeper when you’re feeling at the end of your rope, I appreciate your kindness and compassion. It’s just gotten worse and worse every year, I had stability at one time and I was an equal contributer, but I just feel like complete shit about myself constantly and nothing seems to go right. My vehicle which I’m still paying a loan on has been in a mechanics shop for 3 months, the car that I had been borrowing developed a major oil leak and can’t be driven so I am stuck getting rides across town with no decent bussing options (which I’ve admittedly never taken a public bus out of anxiety), my credit cards which I got initially to help my fiance with things have gone unpaid for about 6 months with daily calls from collectors, and whatever else I can’t bring to mind right now, but it’s all just a decline no matter how hard I try or how decent of a person I try to be to everyone I interact with in my life. And on top of that most of my friends haven’t talked to me in years and the one good friend I do talk to every few months or so has her own life and issues to deal with, I have no family anywhere near me and have a bad relationship with my father, my mother is wonderful but I feel even worse dumping my troubles on her because she has no way to help me from across the country and with her extremely limited resources and I know it makes her feel like she failed as a parent because she couldn’t provide me with the things she thinks she should have (I don’t blame her a bit, she really is a wonderful person), which means the only person who I can talk to about anything going wrong in my life is the love of my life who is being embittered towards me by every compounding issue. I recently got back on ADHD meds after being off them for a decade or more and it’s only seemed to serve to make me have energy and no appetite, but not help me that much, I want to try antidepressants for the first time in my life, but the doctors don’t make it easy, it was a struggle just to get on the ADHD meds even though I had taken Adderall for 5+ years in the past. It’s just overwhelming and never ever seems to let up. I can’t play video games any more, television just seems to fade into the background as I’m consumed by horrible thoughts constantly.
Do you have insurance or, if not, does your state provide Medicaid to low income individuals? If you have private insurance I would recommend looking up therapists and maybe even psychiatrists who are covered by your insurance. If you have Medicaid your county probably has a behavioral health department that can provide some help.
If no to both, you can call 9-8-8 and ask for behavioral health resources that are available. in your area. You can also call that number to talk about your depressing and self harming thoughts if you feel like you want to give your friends and family a break.
Thank you, I have my states ACA insurance which is the only way I’ve seen a doctor (hadn’t seen one in about 15 years before last month). I had never heard about that phone number, I might give it a call later, thank you so much.
Accidental double post**
Your situation really sucks. The most important part is to tell yourself you can be happy again, even if it feels very far away right now. Being happy is the best thing there is, and worth a lot of effort and tough times to get to again.
Life gets overwhelming. You don’t need to see the whole staircase to take the first step. You’re doing your best. Be sure to talk about your feelings with your SO.
There is a mentalhealth community. As you’ve said, sometimes it is really good to write stuff down. Best of luck to you my friend.
Thank you, I have talked to her a lot, but she has valid reasons. I have not been an equal contributer and the weight of everything has been on her for too long, I would do anything in my power to not lose her, but what NEEDS to happen just doesn’t seem to. I know I need back in to see my doctor and see if she can get me on an antidepressant, but the number one thing I need is sadly just money. My income, even though I bust my ass for it, feels like drops in a very very large bucket. Thanks again.
Talking to your doctor about an amtidepressant sounds like a very good step. They generally take a few weeks to start working, so don’t wait too long if you want to have a sunny disposition by xmas.
The best of luck to you my friend.