[I like to defend Spousal Abuse, and think we should just let it go]

There. fixed that for you. It’s a non-zero chance that it really was “just a joke”, and even if it was, jokes about abusing your spouse… is never appropriate. Would you find “The secret to a long marriage, I beat my wife so she’s too scared to leave” funny? I doubt it. Because it’s downright awful.

The fact that he thinks it’s okay to joke about this- to women- in a nominally public, government function… makes me wonder he does in private.