• balderdash@lemmy.zip
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    1 year ago

    I don’t want to sound like an incel, and I like eating vag/salad as much as the next guy, but imagine this image with the genders reversed

    • rotopenguin@infosec.pub
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      1 year ago

      I ain’t never dined at the Y, I am by any reasonable definition an incel…

      But geez dude, lighten up.

    • Knusper@feddit.de
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      1 year ago

      I agree that it would look quite different with the genders reversed. However, gender equality is not like mathematical equality, where every situation needs to be reversible.

      Women have traditionally been less sex-positive and less dominant, which many consider indicators of a lack of true gender equality, so a progressive community will celebrate a reversal of that.

      • 1847953620@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        But situations regarding the handling of power dynamics and standards of consent/coercion absolutely should be reversible.

        • Knusper@feddit.de
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          1 year ago

          Well, consent is non-negotiable. I understood the comic as depicting a consenting couple.

          As for power dynamics, I’m certainly not on board with her having communicated, she had an emergency. That is just disrespectful. But that one looks bad on both genders.
          The existence of power dynamics in a relationship in general always looks bad, for both sides, in my opinion.

      • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        TIL feminism is not a progressive movement, and they only like one sided patriarchal benefits when convenient.

      • AstridWipenaugh@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Bad behavior is still bad behavior, regardless of who’s doing it. The oppressed engaging in the same behavior as their former oppressors is not equality, it’s just more oppression.

    • demlet@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Everyone here will pretend they would be fine with it now that you called out the hypocrisy. Or they’ll argue men deserve it as some kind of “payback”, in which case it’s really not about equality of course.

      • deus@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I’m sorry, they’ll argue that men deserve what as a form of payback? Cause you’re phrasing it like there’s some kind of discrmination or persecution against men going on here and I fail to see it.

        • demlet@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          It doesn’t have to be persecution to be sexist and therefore hypocritical in a culture that claims to be opposed to sexism. I’m personally fine with a joke like this, I just also happen to think that if the characters in this one were reversed there would be all sorts of outrage and accusations of toxic masculinity.

          • criitz@reddthat.com
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            1 year ago

            That context matters, though. We live in a world where women are historically predated on by men, which would make the gender-swapped version insensitive. Absent that context, I think this works he fine in either gender position, but because of that context, showing it this way isn’t as bad as showing it with the genders reversed. With that in mind the difference isn’t hypocritical.

            • demlet@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              That’s a roundabout way of saying that all men should be okay with it because some men have historically done the same thing to women, which is what I meant by the word “payback”. I disagree with the premise that one is acceptable but not both. Either both are or both aren’t, that’s the only position that actually describes equality.

              • criitz@reddthat.com
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                1 year ago

                This image illustrates why pure “equality” isn’t the right goal pretty well I think. I’m not saying all men or any men need to be OK with anything. It’s not payback, it’s that each has a different impact based on context of the reality that we live in.

                • demlet@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  So we want people to have an equal outcome. That’s perfectly fine, and something I fully support. The difference is that no one in the right image has to be treated badly for everyone to be happy. If we accept that, in the abstract and lacking full context of possible consensual behavior between adults, objectifying people sexually is treating people badly, then we shouldn’t want it for anyone, nor find it amusing.

      • Batman@lemmy.ca
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        1 year ago

        I guess the problem is the assumption that the man is consenting. A meme is not a place to go for realistic depictions of sex, though. I think this one is playing off that to create conflict/engagement.

    • Franklin@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      IMO either party doing this is fine as long as it’s discussed and within the comfort bounds of the people in the relationship.

      I think the problem is an expectation when there has been no discussion about whether or not it’s within someone’s limits.

      • balderdash@lemmy.zip
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        1 year ago

        I have no issue with oral sex between consenting adults. But this meme would not be as well received if the genders were reversed. It’s hard to even imagine someone posting “always be there for your man in a time of crisis” with the woman going down on the guy.

        • xor@infosec.pub
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          10 months ago

          part of the joke is the reversal of the stereotype.
          breaking stereotypes = good
          enforcing stereotypes = bad

        • Franklin@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          I can only speak for myself but I wouldn’t really mind it the other way around as long as there’s no implied use of force or manipulation.

        • Cylusthevirus@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          Yes, I suppose if you ignore every single bit of the last few hundred years worth of context, it would be hard to understand why people might be ok with this, but not necessarily the reverse.

          Fortunately that context is available to you, so what I have trouble understanding is why you’re not accounting for that. Maybe you could elaborate, or perhaps do some perspective taking on why historically oppressed groups have certain sensitivities that privileged groups do not have. You might even come to realize that treating everyone exactly the same after not doing so for a very long time doesn’t come across as terribly fair. Because, you know, it isn’t.

          • balderdash@lemmy.zip
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            1 year ago

            You’ve conceded my point that it would be insensitive if we reversed the genders. So now the question is whether it is okay for us to show women doing something to men in cases where we are not comfortable with men doing that same action to women.

            And here I’m going to respectfully disagree. I do not agree with your claim that being a part of a more historically oppressed group comes with a different set of standards for behavior. This is like saying its fine for obese people to make fun of skinny people–but not vice versa–because the obese people have more often been marginalized in society. We wouldn’t accept that reasoning in the case of body type and we also shouldn’t accept it in the case of gender.

            • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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              1 year ago

              So now the question is whether it is okay for us to show women doing something to men in cases where we are not comfortable with men doing that same action to women.

              I think what you actually are aiming at is the question: Why is this meme upvoted? And why do you think the meme with reversed genders wouldn’t be?

              I bet you want to tell us.

            • deus@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Would you say the same if we were talking about religions or races instead of genders?

              • balderdash@lemmy.zip
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                1 year ago

                The implication is that, yes, the same parity of standards should hold across groups. I myself am both religious and a racial minority (in the US) and I would not do anything to a white atheist that I wouldn’t want them to do to me.

                Note that I’m not saying that everyone should behave the exact same no matter what their background. I’m saying that behavior that is judged to be good or bad for one group should also be judged the same way for another group. There are some philosophical reasons behind this claim (I’m essentially denying moral relativism) but I don’t want to derail the conversation.

        • DLSchichtl@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          It’s hard to even imagine someone posting “always be there for your man in a time of crisis” with the woman going down on the guy.

          That’s surprising. You must have never met men. I see guys post shit like this all the time, cause it’s manly and alpha! Or whatever. They are the reason this joke only works one way.

          OTOH, I come from a heavy kink community background, so all iterations of this comic are welcome and enjoyed by most. Submissives live for this kind of stuff.

          • balderdash@lemmy.zip
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            1 year ago

            Fair enough, I admit that norms change depending on where you’re posting online. Norms on 4chan vs Reddit will differ wildly. But I don’t think that a post with the genders reversed would do so well here on Lemmy in a general sub like !memes. So maybe I’ve overstated the point but my main criticism remains the same.

        • papertowels@lemmy.one
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          1 year ago

          I believe “consenting” is key here.

          The reason why it’s taboo if the genders were reversed is because there is a long and well documented history of non-consent when genders are reversed.

          Was there non-consent where gals are forcing guys? Very likely. However what evidence I’ve seen suggests this is dwarfed by guys forcing gals.

        • Yoru@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          im gonna post a reversed version of this im really curious what’ll happen

      • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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        1 year ago

        There are plenty of memes which are sexist towards women. They just aren’t perceived as sexist but simply as “funny”.

    • catsarebadpeople@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      Yeah! And that’s why men are actually the ones being discriminated against! /s

      You’re not wrong but you’re completely missing the point

      • balderdash@lemmy.zip
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        1 year ago

        And what is that point exactly? Women get horny too some times? Men need to do oral sex more often? Please enlighten me.

        • Thcgrasscity@lemmy.caOP
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          1 year ago

          Have you been in a relationship before, when its stressful you help each other, if she wants an orgasm you give it, the street flows both ways. Its not always about sex either, fuck some times im the one that wants to cuddle. You seem to be quite the prude, and reading way too much into this, for the sake of your soul go get laid.

          • balderdash@lemmy.zip
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            1 year ago

            Go get laid? Damn, you sure got me. I’m going to go sit in a corner and think about how not to get owned. If only I had said something in my comment to indicate to anyone who can read that I had no problem with oral sex. I have realized the error of my ways and bow down to a sexually enlightened individual, such as yourself. Thank you @Thcgrasscity for your well thought out response.

    • Holzkohlen@feddit.de
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      1 year ago

      In my mind she has a cock. She also is built like an amazon, so she can just lift me up and flip me round for some standing 69. Nice

    • Draedron@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 year ago

      What would be the issue then? 2 consenting people can show each other what they want sexually, no matter the gender

    • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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      1 year ago

      Unless you have proof, this claim of yours is simply a fantasy. In fact, you can find plenty of spaces online where memes like this one, but with the genders reversed, are shared and well liked and sometimes they even mean what they depict unironically.

      Actually, this very posts proofs you wrong, since yours and the comment “Bonk” (which just means “too horny”) are the top liked comments.

      It really does seem like you just want to soapbox an opinion.

    • knotthatone@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I didn’t understand your comment at first because I thought the cartoons were both women. (I guess the one on the right had a bit of facial hair and masculine features.)

      Switching it to two guys wouldn’t make a difference but I can see how male-left, female-right might look worse. But it really shouldn’t.

      It’s a short cartoon. I read it as a playful, consenting couple having fun with each other. I don’t think it’s one partner luring the other in on false pretenses of an emergency and forcing them to perform oral sex. The gender arrangement shouldn’t affect that.

  • Fat Tony@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    More importantly. Does that guy have a beard or is that just part of his hair?

  • JokeDeity@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Aren’t memes supposed to be funny? This just looks like a shitty Tumblr post.

  • erogenouswarzone@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    While we’re on the topic. Everybody needs to read a book about pleasuring their partners.

    She comes first

    Her guide to going down

    I’m sure you can get more focused content for your particular situation if you looked for it, but don’t assume you know what You’re doing. Read and make the world a better place.

  • Spliffman1@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I gave this an upvote… Not gonna read all the comments, I found it cute and bit funny. Not gonna read more into it. When my girl calls me for support in a crisis I hope this is the crisis too 😂

  • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    I love how nobody will come and say this is male sexual abuse. Where are the feminists hiding?

    Edit: did not take long to prove the point, there is plenty misandry just like there is plenty misogyny.

    • papertowels@lemmy.one
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      Probably because there is much less likelihood that the male is being physically forced to do this.

      Heck, if you want to go into who in society is typically in roles of power, there’s also much less chance of the guy being coerced to do this by power dynamics.

      • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        The amount of male sexual abuse that goes unheard of is nearly 95-100% of the times, because both women and men tease it as the abused man “wanting it” and/or “enjoying the touch”, leading to feminists claiming “all men” to be these evil women predators as an entire gender.

          • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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            1 year ago

            No, I am not. You are enforcing a misandrist narrative. Not all men want to be sexually groped and touched. Most men are good people.

            • papertowels@lemmy.one
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              Which of my statements do you disagree with?

              Do you think men aren’t likely to be physically forced into giving head by a woman?

              Do you think men aren’t likely to be forced into giving head to a woman by power dynamics?

              I noticed that you’re conflating what is portrayed in this meme with being groped or touched.

              • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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                1 year ago

                The basis of your statement when you say “less chance of the guy being coerced to do this by power dynamics” has a historical context of “both women and men tease it as the abused man “wanting it” and/or “enjoying the touch””. Both men and women have encouraged this behaviour against men in the exact same way women get eve teased or their butts spanked. But women are the perpetrators of this male SA/rape stuff, since they demand it or covertly blackmail men.

                • papertowels@lemmy.one
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                  1 year ago

                  That’s a big wall of text that doesn’t answer my questions - can you answer them directly? You can provide as much context as you feel necessary to explain your yes or no answer, but please provide a yes or no answer so I fully understand where you stand.

      • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        Come on, reverse the gender and post this. See how fast you get cancelled everywhere for “misogyny” by feminists that approve of this meme.

          • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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            1 year ago

            I am pissed over how the reverse would be claimed by femcels and feminists as sexual harassment. There would be hundreds of them flocking to this post like flies over a turd, but now just silence and internet votes however they want.

            Framing me in a manipulative way does not make what I said untrue, or allow it to be downplayed.

            • I don’t think it’s manipulative to suggest that you should wait for that actual comic to exist, and then argue with the people reacting that way, instead of manufacturing an assumption that no consent exists here, and then being upset that everyone else doesn’t also pretend that’s a factual representation of the comic.

              • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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                It so happens conveniently that the reverse jokes are framed as misogynistic and incel content and will always by default be assumed to have no consent unless explicitly stated as a bold heading, because women are supposed to be vulnerable according to patriarchy, yet strong according to feminism. You know what political tactic makes an entity strong and weak at the same time? Fascism.

                However, here, men are supposed to let it slide, treat it as if consent exists by default, and everything is supposed to favour women. I am definitely seeing the same kind of flaws in leftist social movement that exist in redpill movements, that are forcing me to distance myself from the former, even as I despise the latter. If certain leftists think reverse discrimination is a good way to piss off men and think it will invent sympathy within men, and unite men and women, they are the biggest idiots on this planet.

                Edit: papertowels tried to critique me, deleted comment, due to which my one comment response is not showing up in thread. Might be worth a read. https://lemmy.ml/comment/3566525

                • My only complaint is that you seem adamant that only you have the correct interpretation of this simple comic. If you said “wow that comic seems like this” to me, without taking it to the level of “and every single other person needs to interpret it the same way” we’d be having no discussion.

                  We’re about 30 secs from having no discussion anyway.

    • be_excellent_to_each_other@kbin.social
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      Seems to me you are making a lot of assumptions. You see sexual abuse, I see four frames that could be me and my wife. In either role.

      It’s a four panel comic. Why you would choose to decide that consent is absent, and also decide that everyone else has to feel the same way, is beyond me.

      • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        Because even in marriages and relationships, women often accuse men of SA and rape these days. The reverse should also hold true, if women choose to pull off these nasty tricks.

        • be_excellent_to_each_other@kbin.social
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          That’s all well and good, but there’s no reason except your own baggage to apply that to this comic.

          The more I read your replies, the more I think this is really about your own negative feelings towards women, more than a legitimate concern regarding sexual abuse against men.

          • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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            It is always made into “you are incel” argument, no matter what men say, isn’t it? Feminists are pretty misandrist nowadays.

            • be_excellent_to_each_other@kbin.social
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              Did I use the word incel?

              But hey, if that keeps happening to you, maybe don’t keep saying things an incel would.

              if women choose to pull off these nasty tricks.

              We’re all individual people in the end, it’s not a team sport.

              Good day, Sir.

              • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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                I think this is really about your own negative feelings towards women

                There you go, this is how you framed me. And yes, women these days do that a lot, and that can be seen in any country with western culture influence.

                No need to hand over pessimistic greetings as consolation, thanks. Atleast I know I am not wrong.

  • IHaveTwoCows@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    This comment section is lame. I would’ve LOVED for any of my girlfriends to force me down…it was just never a dynamic they were into.