Don’t go in the hole
Why do it? For the same reason Mt. Everest is littered with human corpses, shit, and garbage. For the same reason there’s an American flag and a plaque immortalizing Richard fucking Nixon on the goddamned moon.
Because it’s there.
homie I’d rather get launched raw towards the moon than suffer a long agonizing existence being trapped in a narrow passage I could barely move in until I finally die
This hole was made for me
That’s what she said
In fairness, after I got bottom surgery I got a lot of laughs with that line.
I mean, the moment you see a passage that barely fits a child and you think to yourself “Hey, I should get in there!”, you’re just aiming to be the year’s winner of the Darwin Awards.
Spelunking is great fun when you prepare properly.
Squeezes are not advisable.
Hey spelunking is perfectly normal for anyone, spelunk all you want in the privacy of your own home. Just dont go into caves.
I’ll go in a cave no problem but anything where I can’t turn or move freely is a big old nope. And if it seems unstable or whatnot I’m out of there.
The closest I’ll be getting to exploring a cave is playing Microsoft Adventure. I’m not getting into a cave, no sir.
What I don’t get is neither path is very deep, so shining a light would reveal both dead ends. Can’t think of a worse way to go tho. And the fear and panic realizing you’re doomed.
This photo gave me the heebee geebees… I’m left asking why and do I have claustrophobia now as a result?
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therapist?
Two ways to find out!
Going spelunking? Whatever floats your boat
Crawling into a small crack? Dangerous.
But why the fuck did he go into it head first?
Now imaging crawling into a cave, and being blocked by somebody else’s shoes.
Imagine dying in a place called Nutty Putty Cave.
Yoinky Spelunky
Cummy Caverns
nsfl
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Heres one to add to your collection. Its a bit old but still kinda amusing.
Exploring a cave is great, but I sure as fuck wouldn’t try crawling down a tiny hole going down at a 70 degree angle. Some spelunkers are straight nuts though, like they get to the end of a cave and say “wow, the wind is whistling through here!” and try expanding small openings with a hammer and chisel or even explosives. I went caving one time in a well known but very long cave, with experienced people, and that was really interesting. When i got back I read my friend’s cave incident journal, which details all the rescues and deaths that happened in the last year, and it was… interesting. Shit like “oh, jimmy got stuck, so we had to break his ribs to get him out”. Great.
According to Wikipedia:
Jones and three others had left their party in search of “The Birth Canal”, a tight but navigable passageway with a turnaround at the end. Jones entered an unmapped passageway which he wrongly believed to be the Canal and found himself at a dead end, with nowhere to go besides a narrow vertical fissure. Believing this to be the turnaround, he entered head-first and became wedged upside-down.
Yeah…I’m OK with going my entire life without doing any of that.
We had some interesting times on the one expedition I did. It was fascinating and I would recommend trying it at least once… doesn’t have to be dangerous. Even going to Carlsbad Caverns, which is a National Park and while not the real spelunking experience, pretty cool. I went to Wolf River Cave in Tennessee. Most of it was just like mountain hiking, but with a ceiling. Questionable parts included crawling in light mud on our hands and knees for 600 feet through an area where the ceiling was about 3 feet high. Also one part, you go through a ‘door’ and have to drop down ~5 feet onto some rocks… people told me “be sure to go left when you land!!” and wtf was to the right? This giant dark pit of rocks at least 20 feet deep. Okay… then at the very bottom, there was this area with a bunch of trickling water and awesome stalagmites where you could sit on rocks by this weird little stream and ponds. We split up and sat in different rooms… the guy from Kentucky I sat with, who I’d never met before, told me “sometimes when I’m down here… i listen to the water… and it sounds like people talking…” Uh, okay.
But anyway it was an amazing experience and profoundly strange… the ‘rooms’ and ‘hallways’ are oddly reminiscent of human construction. And if you get stuck or hurt, if you’ve done things properly and signed in and people know you’re there, experienced cavers will come and rescue you.
“sometimes when I’m down here… i listen to the water… and it sounds like people talking…”
He probably has MES, Musical Ear Syndrome. I got it, it’s really not as scary or weird as it sounds. Basically our brains mistakenly interpret some white noises (running water is a big one) as faint music or voices. But it’s not really a hallucination, because at the same time our brain is aware it isn’t real and it’s just coming from said noise. It can actually be quite pleasant, beaches often sound like a quiet symphony. Only occasionally will I hear voices and mistake it for my girlfriend or something before realizing it.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
That is not what it looked like at all, really. But yes. Dude super fucked up, and got an entire cave permanently shut down.
Well, the important thing is that he ruined potentially dying for nothing for everyone.
