Going literally shitty on this one. This will probably also be a decent survey of lemmy’s demographics; every man I’ve shared this with reacts in abject terror while all the women who didn’t know you can do this look like a divine revelation had struck them. 🤣
Gives a whole new meaning to “shit just works”
Am male and not overly terrified, though that might just be due to a general interest in health/medicine.
More just curious about how long some people’s thumbs are. The specific angle you’d wind up with also seems like it’d be pretty awkward.
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Honey? You doing gymnastics in there?
Fun new trick to try on the girlfriend.
Spice things up in the bedroom by making her shit herself
It’s called the nosey neighbor. Bring lube.
I call it the Hungry Hippo
/s
Uhm.
Hmmm. This certainly doesn’t benefit me. And the fact that I have something else much larger and potentially more forceful than a thumb has now given me anxiety about doing this unintentionally.
Don’t worry. Unless your penis is prehensile, I doubt you’ll get the proper angle and pressure to accomplish this assist.
That said, a good bidet is far more effective. 💩
Enamizer 3000
Just don’t try to poke it back in.
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…Okay. I will share this with some female friends of mine and see what reactions I get. If my social standing suddenly drops a lot, I will be blaming you
This is not 100% true, it’s only a thing in specific cases.
The part of the intestines directly connected to the anus and next to the vagina is called the rectum.
Normally there really isn’t that much poop in the rectum unless you need to shit bad or have just shit. It’s like a buffer your body fills up when you are preparing to go poop, the shit is stored before the rectum and you have muscles that push the poop into the rectum. During the shit the rectum gets squeezed tight and is thus mostly empty. Filling the rectum usually induces the feeling of needing to poop.
However in cases of chronic constipation, some dried out clump of poop can get stuck inside the rectum. By manually pushing out this clump, the rectum can be cleared and normal function can resume.
Usually in cases of constipation the body has trouble even filling the rectum. So squeezing it will do nothing and is probably not recommended. Your body is also really good at squeezing the rectum, with specific muscle groups which serve only to do this one thing.
Also: Don’t ever take medical advice from the internet, talk to an actual medical doctor, your personal doctor if available.
I think it’s more like forcing yourself to throw up, you reach into your throat and giggle your dangler. Now if you are constipated just poke your butthole to find your butthole uvula
Do women not know of the poop knife?
Holy shit, dude, don’t put that in your body!
Typo, they meant poop spoon.
No no, you misread, it’s The Poop Knife.
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you forget that lemmy is 95% men ^citation needed^
There are no women on the internet silly
IIRC this can be semi-required if you have a weak pelvic floor, which can be remedied by doing kegal exercises.
The nurse assisting my wife while she was giving birth did this for her while helping dialate prior to delivery. It wasn’t something they warned us about in the birthing classes.
Fun fact: as a nurse, constipation is the only condition I’m allowed to independently diagnose! Well that’s what my instructor told me anyway, and she was admittedly a dinosaur so that may have changed at some point in the last 100 years idk
Ehhh, I think it better to say that it can work. It really depends on the degree of constipation, the reason for it, where it is in the large intestine, and the state of the feces.
But it will absolutely not be like squeezing out toothpaste if the person is constipated enough to need to try it in the first place. If the poop is firm enough to have difficulty exiting the anus, it won’t be a gentle push and then out comes the poop all easy like. It will absolutely help, though I would say that digital dilation of the anus would be a better option, and even that only after something like a suppository has failed to give relief.
I’m kinda 50/50 on trying an enema before trying the more direct methods like this, or digital dilation. They can work, but I’ve seen them fail to clear a blockage and end up just messy. Most of the time, a glycerin suppository is going to do a gentler, better job of helping the rectum clear than manual assistance of any kind.
But gods, anything is better than having to clear the impaction manually. Nobody enjoys that. When you have to essentially dig the feces out, everyone involved is going to be in some degree of pain. And even that’s better than the rare instance that requires more complicated intervention. Which, in my twenty years wiping butts and helping clear them out, I only ever had one patient need anything more than manual intervention. And that guy was on enough opiates to knock a horse out, so it isn’t a common thing.
No bullshit though, the first time I had to clear an impaction, I didn’t throw up, I didn’t have to take any breaks, but holy hell did I cry after. I’m a big dude. My fingers are kinda huge as well. So there was no way for it to be a gentle, easy experience. There was a great deal of discomfort for the patient. Poor guy was not exactly happy he was cleared out, though he did later say that it was better.
You’re giving me flashbacks to that day in the ICU when they’d been pumping the patient full of oral laxatives for 24h per protocol before they finally pulled the trigger on the stimulant suppository. The blockage came out looking like cocoa puffs in a chocolate milk river of laxative-induced diarrhea and the worst part was that Every. Single. Time. we log rolled the patient to get their bum clean it was enough to stimulate the bowels into producing another shit-valanche.
It started halfway through my shift and kept going at least until I left for hours and the chunks meant we couldn’t even use a rectal tube. The patient was conscious too, and kept trying not to cry in front of their spouse while alternating between apologizing and thanking us. They had a first responder job but I think that gave the poor thing a whole new level of PTSD.
I was just a li’l baby sitter at the time so I helped with the lifting rolling and cleaning but was mostly holding their hands and telling them it was ok to cry every time their spouse left and that I wouldn’t tell their spouse… They were literally both trying not to cry in front of each other which was kinda cute and it’s not like that was the right time to disrupt that integrated coping system anyway but like. Babes. Let that shit out! The other shit is pouring out the other end a little saltwater out the front ain’t gonna hurt anybody!
Lmao! It’s horror stories like those that got me banned from the dinner table for a year.
