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He pumps his dirty little dangler between the cushions.
Dude is more satisfied by a couch than a woman, allegedly
It was definitely alleged that Vance had frequent sexual contact with a couch using a rubber glove to collect and dispose of the evidence, yes.
AP initially fact checked it as false, but had to retract the fact check because it broke their own rule that fact checks have to be known to be correct.
Are you American? If no, then you are dreadfully fortunate enough to not have to deal with it. Every election year is a bunch of apes flinging shit and this is just another turd in flight.
But if you still want the rundown it is “HA HA MAN FUK COUCH LELELELELELELELELE” and apparently it isn’t even true. Credible, though, I know.
There was a fake story that he wrote about humping a couch in his book, Hillbilly Elegy.
It’s been completely debunked, but people still talk about it because it’s funny.
Theres more to it. AP published a fact check titled something like “No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch”.
Later they took this down because they were unable confirm he did not have sex with a couch, only that he did not say so in his book.
As you can guess, this added a lot of fuel to the fire.
because they are stupid
Fixed that for you.
It’s because JD vance is a fucking weirdo. I didn’t like pushing false stories about people, but he’s just such a smarmy motherfucker it fits so well. He is a detestable person with detestable views.
No. It’s clearly a stupid thing to do. Being detached from the complex truth of things is 90% of the problem with mankind, as far as politics go. I thought there was substance behind these jokes but it’s all made up.
I’m sure there’s plenty of real things to underscore what a massive duche Trump VP is. Making things up about him, or anybody else, should be illegal (and it is) for good reasons.
It’s great to see what tiny issues resonate with their massive self doubt though, tiny hands or fucking couches
So what up with Obama birth cert and the elections Biden stole?
I don’t know, you tell me. It looks like we are considering those fair game to gain the upper hand on our opposition…
EDIT: oh you meant the legality? Well, it’s America so the law doesn’t really apply the way one would expect.
The difference is satire vs disinformation; nobody with any brains actually believes Vance fucked a couch, and every time I’ve seen it queried anywhere it’s always stated as a completely fake dumb joke.
It’s just fucking funny because fascists are creepy snowflakes, and it gets under their skin.
Satire is supposed to be thought provoking. This is pathetic.
I thought there was substance behind these jokes
And you call others stupid… lol
I didn’t mean to generalyze. You are clearly stupid, since you can’t imagine a world where, I don’t know, Jordan Peterson has hidden in Russia to go on a drug induced coma to fix his drug addiction and there’s some tangential validity to one VP potential pansexual urges.
You are clearly stupid since you don’t understand what a joke is, and since you don’t know how to write the word “generalize”.
You are mixing ignorance with stupidity. I’m ignorant.
You know who else gets accused of not getting jokes? Lefties liberal snowflakes. Rings any bell?
People would want to have a beer with me because I really like beer.
Someone’s mad that Trump has lost the mandate of heaven (shitposters)
Trump never had a mandate from heaven, primarily because heaven does not exists and if it did exist it wouldn’t grant any kind of mandate since the point is to let stuff go any which way and then judge souls after death.
The joke couldn’t have gone further over your head if it had a 3 stage rocket system.
That’s entirely possible.
Props for being self-aware.
It’s not at all that. It’s to reflect what the republicans have done for years now. But this story is funny and obviously fake so it’s even more funny when you can see it actually getting under the skin of vance and other republicans. That’s why it gets repeated so often. I understand this and I’m not even America
Edit: too -> to (autocorrect)
To* reflect?
So it’s not that it’s wrong it was all about envying them and finally we can engage in the same behaviour too?
Glenn Beck raped and killed a girl in 1984. JD Vance raped and killed a couch in 2004. When will Americans wake up and stop them?
I’m concerned that there was a live couch to kill. Did he at least take the leather and uh, upholster a couch with it?
Couch herds were a sight to see, roaming the Great Plains, many decades ago. Alas
The couch is a metaphor for American political discourse. JD, the crude white “Everyman” that has been rawdogging it a la Gingrich for the past several decades. This went over your head?
I am humbled. Thank you.
now there’s a new one that it was in the first edition and removed from later editions. also made up as far as I can tell
The dude fucked a couch one time, that we heard about. You know it must be true since Jorkin Peanuts Vance denied it.
If the dude has any balls he’ll release a home porn movie of him fucking a couch, just for the memes.
I suppose it would be pretty on-brand for the party that’s trying to completely outlaw porn to start producing their own super-weird porn.
Super on brand for them to do things they are trying to stop everyone else from doing.
Unfortunately, like, it would be so ballsy it would also get him in the joke. We would still call him a couch fucker, but it doesn’t have the same amount of funny if he embraces it.
What the fuck am I saying id lose my shit
Here’s a good write-up of it. It’s pretty hilarious.
Now we’ve reached the point where you have a faction of the internet believing Vance actually had sectional relations…
Lol
I’d suggest reading this: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/jd-vance-couch-cushion-story-hoax
TL:DR Some Twitter user posted a made up story about JD Vance having sexual with a couch, “which led to news publications uncritically repeating the hoax story as fact.”
It’s a bit more nuanced than that. Essentially AP fact checked it and instead of saying “Hillbilly Eulegy doesn’t contain a story about Vance getting freaky with a couch” they used the headline “Vance never had relations with a couch”
That’s not something anyone could actually know for sure though, and they were called on it… and had to retract it…
Which of course lead to people wondering why it was retracted, and it kinda snowballed. I don’t think anybody seriously believes it, but as the story goes, there’s no evidence he DIDN’T fuck a couch lol
Haha that’s even better than if it were real 😆
akshually he fucked a glove stuck in the couch and technically speaking he fucked the glove and not the couch /s
Didn’t Vance respond with something like “I’ve never had sex to completion with a couch” - or was that bullshit?
To completion? What a coward, a real man would have stayed there and finished the job
