Instead of getting fat really fast, you get old.

They’re not “passing laws.” They define the minute technical details that Congress can’t cover completely or doesn’t understand. Here’s an example:

Elected Congress: Don’t sell moldy sausage.

Unelected FDA: Ok, here’s how long you can safely store sausage below this temperature. If that date is passed or the sausage has been exposed to higher temperature for this amount of time, it must be discarded to greatly reduce the possibility of selling moldy sausage.

Unelected Judge: Mom said if it’s not green it’s not moldy. Just don’t sell green sausage boys.

Unelected SCOTUS: Yup, that’s how it’s done.

And then add a light so cats can scare the shit out of passersby with eerie dissonance in the dead of night.

That’s how you know it’s accurate. Same thing happens if you use makeup remover twice on bare skin.

The marimba has left the chat.

I wish I could afford a Boeing, but I go to Starbucks 35,000 times a day.

Plus someone’s baby crying in the background

”thanks for the candy”

I’ll take the calamari to go

Stop all the downloading

You’ll paint your belly button, right?

Anakin.jpg

I imagine some poor employee was typing frantically as Big Polluter agents came busting through the door, and he just barely managed to hit print before being dragged away, never to be seen again.

And by “track” you mean they’d kill you over and over till you roll human.

Oh… well fuck that then. Unlabel it.

The FBI recommends it for your safety.

A dark LORD?

Mr. Stark I don’t feel so good

I’m a fan of iPhones, Apple Watches, and iPads, but most of Apple’s accessories are terrible. MagSafe is fine because of how it’s used, and their wall adapters are fine. But Apple brand cables, phone cases, watch bands, etc. are all garbage. I mean, they will literally be in the garbage in under a year. Never fails.

Doesn’t matter how “environmentally friendly” a product is - if you need to replace it frequently, it’s bad for the planet and for your wallet. Just exclusively buy 3rd party cables and accessories that are cheaper and higher quality.

“Select all squares where a human might place a bottle of barbecue sauce”

https://piped.video/watch?v=Pn7FlYb3JoA&t=20