I finally got my wife to stop frequenting them with a moka pot and some flavored syrups. Homemade is comparable in flavor, bit less fat and sugar, and $1-2 per cup all in.

I use a Kingrinder, $50-100, milk warmer/frother, $30, moka pot, $30, and light roast Ethiopian beans. I just order in a big bag of beans for pour over and use the same for other drinks out of convenience. I’ve had cheap espresso makers before and the moka pot is close enough for mixed drinks.

I’m a big proponent of normal/semi obscure normal first name, weird middle name. John W Smith if you work in sales, J Wolfgang Smith if you’re an author. Perfect compromise.

You can also look into renting subsurface locators from someplace like Sunbelt or United Rentals.