The most bastardly thing they could do, right? The explanation is that processing costs money, so wifi via cloud only bullshit is getting expensive. Also, we’re disabling the only other viable alternative, effectively bricking all remote features intentionally. Why? Fuck you, that’s why.
If you truly hate kids, this is what you have to do. Introduce dangers with plausible deniability.
How was I supposed to know the kids would use it to turn each other into meat crayons?