When you meet new people just tell them whatever name you prefer even if it’s not your name. 2ish years ago, I started going by Shay by just telling people that. But there were people who have always known me by my other name, but I just told them I always hated that name, so call me Shay, and I gently corrected them every time they called me by my other name. The only people who still call me by me og name is my wife and my girlfriend(poly relationship not cheating), but they are working on it.
There’s no name I actively want to go by, is the problem. I’ve tried with minor changes but nobody took them and they aren’t things I can just be like “this is me” because it… wouldn’t be actually? I’m envious of people who have the option to choose their own name, or how to apply it. Mine is so short there’s like 2 nickname options and I hate both. Passionately.
Best I’ve ever come up with would take a full name change (first middle last) to be worth doing. And that’s not worth doing.
I’m super glad it was effective for you, though, honestly that’s what matters. If it matters enough that you have a preference, it matters. My preference is just “anything else please” and that’s not a good option for most people, which… legit.
No judgement on your relationships, whatever works. I haven’t the energy to be weird about it :)
Well, im sorry to hear that. I get how you feel, and I hope it can change for you if that’s what you want. Ya polyamory is hard work and a lot of communication, but it can be super rewarding when it works.
When you meet new people just tell them whatever name you prefer even if it’s not your name. 2ish years ago, I started going by Shay by just telling people that. But there were people who have always known me by my other name, but I just told them I always hated that name, so call me Shay, and I gently corrected them every time they called me by my other name. The only people who still call me by me og name is my wife and my girlfriend(poly relationship not cheating), but they are working on it.
There’s no name I actively want to go by, is the problem. I’ve tried with minor changes but nobody took them and they aren’t things I can just be like “this is me” because it… wouldn’t be actually? I’m envious of people who have the option to choose their own name, or how to apply it. Mine is so short there’s like 2 nickname options and I hate both. Passionately.
Best I’ve ever come up with would take a full name change (first middle last) to be worth doing. And that’s not worth doing.
I’m super glad it was effective for you, though, honestly that’s what matters. If it matters enough that you have a preference, it matters. My preference is just “anything else please” and that’s not a good option for most people, which… legit.
No judgement on your relationships, whatever works. I haven’t the energy to be weird about it :)
Well, im sorry to hear that. I get how you feel, and I hope it can change for you if that’s what you want. Ya polyamory is hard work and a lot of communication, but it can be super rewarding when it works.