It’s not true, folks. The lying liberal media wants you to think he’d shag a settee. That he’d bone a book stand. That he’s creamied on the credenza.
Don’t trust them. My beautiful boy JD, he’d never do it! He’s chaste with the chaises. He’s never loved a loveseat.
My VP would never fuck furniture.
LBJ: Let’s spread a rumor that he’s a pigfucker.
Aide: But he never fucked a pig…
LBJ: I know. I just want to hear him deny it.