I could honestly see the appeal of a way for the toilet to analyze your poop and tell you that you should be eating more fiber or that you need to see a doctor because it’s seen X, Y, and Z symptoms. It’s like the joke about German toilets being so you can monitor your health, but with much less of the nastiness.

Of course, we can’t have nice things and you’ll just get ads for Metamucil or the colorectal-cancer-from microplastics law firms in the style of mesothelioma lawyers.