I think a significant part of this is rooted in how those two sentences are usually used socially to denote different things. Men routinely describe their wife being upset at them in any capacity as yelling at them. When a woman says her husband is yelling at her she usually doesn’t mean that he got upset that she said something insensitive about him, she usually means that her husband had a bad day and came home to hurl misogynistic slurs and vague threats at his wife. Or that she didn’t want to have sex and he became enraged at her.
Verbal abuse is a serious issue that also happens to men but would usually come with some kind of clarification from the speaker. As it is socially less common for men to feel comfortable enough to talk about their experiences with physical and emotional abuse. Women by and large suffer on an almost entire class basis from these things, and our language reflects that. Nobody decided it is that way, it’s a byproduct of violence against women. The most accurate application of the language would be “my spouse is verbally/mentally/emotionally abusing me” and it does yield pretty consistent results for husband/wife.
Huh, so all those times my ex was yelling at me weren’t yelling? I suppose it also wasn’t banging doors, threatening divorce, or stomping out of the room?
I never made any comment on my opinion towards the application of the term. I only pointed out that it’s used differently, for reasons determined by social factors, and that more specific language eliminates confusion.
What you’re describing sounds like verbal and emotional abuse. You can call it that. It’s okay to say that you have been verbally abused before. I don’t know you, nor can I make any kind of sweeping declarative statements based on 2 sentences a random person has sent me. But I assume that you feel you were abused and I am in no way invalidating that.
But did you consider that maybe you just weren’t doing enough chores around the house and that she was tired from dealing with kids all day? Just quit being a man baby. This is sarcasm. I am being sarcastic right now.
Men routinely describe their wife being upset at them in any capacity as yelling at them.
That’s so funny, I had it in my head the exact opposite way. I feel like any time my voice stops being pleasant and friendly in a dispute with a woman, I immediately get accused of yelling at her.
I think a significant part of this is rooted in how those two sentences are usually used socially to denote different things. Men routinely describe their wife being upset at them in any capacity as yelling at them. When a woman says her husband is yelling at her she usually doesn’t mean that he got upset that she said something insensitive about him, she usually means that her husband had a bad day and came home to hurl misogynistic slurs and vague threats at his wife. Or that she didn’t want to have sex and he became enraged at her.
Verbal abuse is a serious issue that also happens to men but would usually come with some kind of clarification from the speaker. As it is socially less common for men to feel comfortable enough to talk about their experiences with physical and emotional abuse. Women by and large suffer on an almost entire class basis from these things, and our language reflects that. Nobody decided it is that way, it’s a byproduct of violence against women. The most accurate application of the language would be “my spouse is verbally/mentally/emotionally abusing me” and it does yield pretty consistent results for husband/wife.
Huh, so all those times my ex was yelling at me weren’t yelling? I suppose it also wasn’t banging doors, threatening divorce, or stomping out of the room?
I never made any comment on my opinion towards the application of the term. I only pointed out that it’s used differently, for reasons determined by social factors, and that more specific language eliminates confusion.
What you’re describing sounds like verbal and emotional abuse. You can call it that. It’s okay to say that you have been verbally abused before. I don’t know you, nor can I make any kind of sweeping declarative statements based on 2 sentences a random person has sent me. But I assume that you feel you were abused and I am in no way invalidating that.
But did you consider that maybe you just weren’t doing enough chores around the house and that she was tired from dealing with kids all day? Just quit being a man baby. This is sarcasm. I am being sarcastic right now.
That’s so funny, I had it in my head the exact opposite way. I feel like any time my voice stops being pleasant and friendly in a dispute with a woman, I immediately get accused of yelling at her.
If that is your experience with all women, sounds like something else. If everywhere you go smells like shit, and all that…