He took a series of very shallow breaths, and then said as quickly and as quietly as he could, ‘Door, if you can hear me, say so very, very quietly.’

Very, very quietly, the door murmured, ‘I can hear you.’

‘Good. Now, in a moment, I’m going to ask you to open. When you open do not want you to say that you enjoyed it, OK?’

‘ΟΚ.’

‘And I don’t want you to say to me that I have made a simple door very happy, or that it is your pleasure to open for me and your satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done, OK?’

‘ΟΚ.’

'And do not want you to ask me to have a nice day, understand?"

‘I understand.’

‘OK,’ said Zaphod, tensing himself, ‘open now.’

The door slid open quietly. Zaphod slipped quietly through. The door closed quietly behind him.

‘Is that the way you like it, Mr Beeblebrox?’ said the door out loud.

— Life, the Universe, and Everything