I went to a hiking trail today that has Taiwanese Macau monkeys living on it. I could only make a quarter of the trail due to some issues with my leg but I did get to see a baby Macau and mama.
Also you are explicitly warned about interacting with the monkeys. You use the trail at your own risk. No jumping monkeys this time but one of them did try to pee on me from the canopy.
Pics of the Warning Signs:
https://ibb.co/VJyZyq0
https://ibb.co/1ZwrJQCBonus Pic of Mama and Baby:
https://ibb.co/tzz95BJI don’t think those warning signs adequately convey the fact that those fuckers will rip your face off if you look at them funny…
but one of them did try to pee on me from the canopy.
That’s how you become the Golden Monkey. The greatest of all the monkeys.
Those are Macaques. Macau is… A different China thing.
How many monkeys would you have to kill to become king of monkey beach?
Do they even let you kill them?
Let?
A lot of beaches have rules. I’ve found many are even particular about wearing clothes while sunbathing.
When I’m monkey king I’ll make the rules
Image Transcription:
A world news article by Associate Producer Savannah Meacham titled Aussie family regrets visiting a beach notorious for monkey attacks after being attacked by monkeys at a famous monkey attack beach in Thailand. Below the title is a paused video with two photos side by side, the left one shows a person bent over with a long-tailed macaque running at them, while the photo on the right shows a woman with her hand over her mouth, looking shocked.
[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]
It’s always fun visiting places with a lot of monkeys. Uluwatu temple in Bali is another famous place for this. The monkeys there aren’t vicious though, but they might rob you blind: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2021/jan/14/balis-thieving-monkeys-seek-bigger-ransoms-for-high-value-swag-study
All I could think after reading the article is a bout the lipsync song “Stop It Now”. I had to ask ChatGPT for a version for this, here is the beginning:
Rockin’, rockin’, on the shore so fine, To the beach in Thailand, we’d align, But those monkeys came, causing a bind, I said, “Monkeys, hey! Leave us behind!”
Everyone warned us, “Don’t head there, beware,” “Monkeys gonna come, with a wild glare,” And they did, and they did, and they tore through the air, No escape from those monkeys, just despair.
Nothing to do, but shout as they pounced on me, Tried to flee, fell down, laughter from kids did we see, Then, hmm, got hit in the neck with a coconut spree, Mm-hm, hm-hm, how’d it happen? Baffling to me.
Gotta dash, dash, dash (leap) I’ll be your backpack while you hurry, Dash, dash, dash, leap, and stop! Let me go free. […]
Full version here: https://pastebin.com/YrZHEdxx
As someone from Thailand, monkeys here are no joke. They are mean and act like a mafia gang. There are many places like this; tour guides always warn you not to bring your bags down with you and leave them in the car. Monkeys will suspect you have food in your bags and snatch them away.
