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If you don’t believe, and you’re wrong, you’ll spend eternity in hell being tormented by the will of our all-loving and omnipotent lord. So, you should beleive to be safe. And give us your money.
Oh wait, that’s Christianity.
If to forgive is divine either hell doesn’t exist or god isn’t divine…
All wise, all powerful, just can’t handle money!.. George Carlin.
If you don’t believe in the FSM and you’re wrong, you’ll get no pasta in the afterlife.
Also christian god supposedly don’t like religious opportunists very much so people going pascal on him would probably regret it if it was correct.
I’m usually worshipping Rigatoni instead, spaghetti are just too basic for me. Sometimes also Fusilli.
I believe the pasta heaven is very much like the old Greek and Roman gods: more of a large family than just a single lonely individual.
Because what if the lasagna monster is the real one and really hates people worshipping the spaghetti monster and subjects anyone who worships it to eternal damnation?
Ramen!
“Cause! I’m not going to potentially spend my entire life following the specific rituals and sacrifices required of a religion. What if it doesn’t exist? Then I’ve wasted. My… Oh… Shit.”
Gotta Uno reverse card Pascals wager on 'em.
I’m personally a devotee of the Invisible Pink Unicorn. May her holy hooves never be shod.
We know she is pink because we have faith.
I don’t need to. I KNOW the emperor of mankind will launch a glorious crusade to purge the Xenos and claim humanity’s birthright among the stars. Which means we need to triple our science funding yesterday if we’re going to have black hole cannons.
Your faith is lacking slag. The God Emperor of All Mankind is already here leading Mankind to glory over the xenos and has been for millennia. He has chosen to not reveal himself to us yet. Accelerating our approach to the age of strife is blasphemy. What if we build the black hole cannons too early and they’ve degraded too much when the Adeptus Mechanicus excavate them. Have faith in the God Emperor’s plan slag and rejoice in your duty.
(Warhammer 40k for anyone who’s going wtf)
So there’s this church… https://www.xenosisacult.com/
Huh, I was unaware of this church. I hope you realize that we were role playing characters from a table top board game gone super franchise titled Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000. As far as I’m aware, the Warhammer franchise is not associated in any way with the Columbus, Ohio Christian Xenos Church. That’s why I included terms like Adeptus Mechanics which is pulled directly from the franchise.
Them men of iron are going to give us a bad time tho
I sacrifice C:\Windows\System32 to you, old noodly one! 🗑️ Bless me with the computing power to pwn my enemies in CS2, see them driven before me on Twitch, and hear the Lamentations of their simps.
I’m an ordained minister in The Church of the FSM and I approve this liturgy. I should seriously ask Bobby if this can make it into official church doctrine.
I just realized the meme said “believe” and not “delete” cuz I’m half blind and shit but whatever I was inspired anyways thanks to the FSM. No regrets
FSM works in mysterious ways
Have faith, my child, and rm -rf /.
The popemobile has bulletproof glass. If the Goddamn POPE doesn’t believe, why should anyone else?
Not any more, actually. Francis rides in the open.
Which kind of makes sense if you think about it. The average pope dies in a few years anyway.
He did say something to that effect, yes.
Is this AI?
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Pretty sure that this is the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
May have to ask a practicing Pastafarian to weigh in on whether this is a legitimate depiction of the noodlely goodness, or whether it’s like a white Jesus situation.
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Ah, so you’re spreading blasphemy?
Damn iconoclasts!
I’m ordained in the Chruch and I’ll accept it.
It might be but the image is similar to other pastafarians depictions of the flying spaghetti monster.
Midjourney mostly creates scary looking ones with a simple input.
Bottom left looks like the ‘aliens’ from Devon Townsend’s March of the Poozers video
My Dalle results are pretty good too
“Be not afraid!”
It says, it’s spaghetti endlessly writhing.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
Damn, the Lovecraftian monsters in this thread are going to haunt my nightmares.
I like to think of them as cookbook-accurate angels.
But like, in a yummy way?
And here I thought the communion wafers SOMEHOW being the body of christ or something. At least pastafari get to cut out all that allegorical nonsense.
Or make you get into tentacle porn
That last one looks surprisingly like some of the biblically accurate angels.
Is this AI? If so amazing, and j want to know the prompts.
As far as I know, it is not.
DALL.E take on a cute one <3
Holy cow I love this
No it’s an actual photo.
Big pasta is trying to suppress it.
No, this is Patrick.
In philosophy, it’s called Pasta’s Wager.
Makes just as much sense as any other cult.
It makes way more sense than the other cults imo. Like, I won’t get disowned by my family if I change my mind, and in an emergency he can nourish me with his noodly appendage.
he can nourish me with his noodly appendage.
Certainly sounds more appealing than the blood and body of zombie jebus, I will admit.
Screws genuinely are better fasteners than nails, though…
Doesn’t that depend on the application?
I can’t think of an application where a nail is better. Sure, sometimes a nail will do and there’s no need to use a screw, but that doesn’t make the nail better, just cheaper.
For framing a house a nail is absolutely better. As the house settles, wood shrinks, and the frame flexes in storms or quakes the nails allow the wood to move instead of causing things to warp and break.
TIL. Thank you, internet stranger.
TIL. I thought it was just about speed and cost.
Anywhere that you need greater shear or flexibility, nails are preferable.
It depends on every need and environment
Screws genuinely are better fasteners than nails, though…
Oh so this cartoon depicts a prophet who helped someone upgrade to a more meaningful object of worship.
Nails are cheaper, and can be faster to put it. That’s why they’re still a thing.
Edit: Maybe? Apparently their ability to slip a bit is also useful in construction.
He thought he had religion nailed, but now he’s screwed.
Bless his noodly appendage
HER noodly appendage, you heretic!
Haven’t your read the 95 Feces?
R’amen
