I feel bad for people who have never licked a Himalayan Salt Lamp.
Why does it never taste like salt?
And why do I keep trying?!?
I think you got a dud. It absolutely should taste salty
Yum.
Skin cells, dust mite shit and animal hairs.
Oh boy wait until you hear about breathing.
I find breathing to be better than not breathing.
Not licking the Himalayan salt lamp does not have the same effect.
Yeah but you can breath any time. This might be your last chance to lick that lamp EVER
It might be the last chance to try to insert the Himalayan salt lamp into your dick hole too.
But why would you do that
Like the old saying, anything is a sounding rod if you’re not a pussy.
Smell is based mostly on particulate. Anything you inhale gets at least partly broken down and absorbed.
Thus, if you smell a fart, at least some small part of your body is metabolising someone else’s shit.
If you smell a fart, the molecules in your nose once were in their ass hole.
Deep down I’ve always known this
Yeah licking random objects in your house is a little unsanitary.
Thanks SatansMagottyCumFart
Is Lemmy’s version of /r/rimjob_steve up already?
I would rather check under the bed in case there are knives.
Yeah if there are no knives we ain’t fuckin
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no that means she’s a csgo character
If you go to someone’s house and they don’t have an elaborate and named knife collection that they’re oddly cagey about, don’t fuck them
Why would I be cagey about my odd, elaborate and named knife collection? I’ve had most of those knives longer than I’ve known my wife. They’re great. Not very much blood at all.
I used to work in a new age shop that sold rock salt lamps. A woman came in one time to complain about the lamp she bought.
Woman: My salt lamp was dusty and dirty.
Me: Okay…
W: So I took the rock salt off the base.
Me: Hmm?
W: And I washed it with hot soapy water.
Me: Ah.
W: And it just dissolved!
Me: Yep, it’s salt.
W: I want a refund.
Me: laughs.
This has me wondering if art supply stores have people coming in complaining that their pencil ran out of lead when they were in the middle of drawing.
Yes, I have seen that first hand. Crayons too.
Aren’t those things like the size of a fist? How long did she wash it for?!
I’m guessing it just lost all of the desirable texture of the crystals
Im thinking she either just ran hot water over it, or decided to let it soak, only to come back to sea water in her sink.
lmao reminds me of that raccoon with cotton candy
I’d like to subscribe to more new age shop stories!
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Are all of you cows
I’m a hamster (they lick salt too) 👅🧂
I had never seen a hamster lick anything until today. You’ve enriched my life!
Don’t they eat their babies too?
ಠ_ಠ
…yeah, but only sometimes
Only if they’re feeling snacky
Some may be horses
I am an Alpine Ibex scaling near vertical slopes just to lick that salt lamp.
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Right I’m confused.
You’re in the bedroom but they go to the restroom
Which fucking one are they in?
There are many reasons toilets are called the restroom dated back in history. However these days it’s mostly just considered a polite way of taking care of one’s business, without projecting to a partner that you may be taking a massive duce.
I’m in my kitchen right now
ok
now im in my living room
how are you handling that?
You don’t live in your kitchen
You don’t rest in your toilet
Unless, like I say, throwing a whitey
oh I finally get what you’re saying. You’re taking issue with calling that room “rest” room instead of “toilet”
but seeing as “toilet” literally means “a small piece of cloth” - if we’re going to go down that path, why are you calling both the room and it’s commode a piece of cloth?
restroom == bathroom
So there has to be a bath in it? Is that not inconvenient?
The place with the toilet that you poop in.
The toilet! Gotcha!
It’s the room where you rest your butt to poop. The restroom.
The Middle French word ‘toile’ (“cloth”) had a diminutive form: ‘toilette’, or “small piece of cloth.” This word became ‘toilet’ in English, and referred to a cloth put over the shoulders while dressing the hair or shaving.
Got em
I don’t— it’s one sentence! Is this a language issue…?
They are trying too hard to force a language issue when there isn’t.
You’ve never seen a bedroom with an attached restroom?
I’ve never seen anyone rest on a toilet
Wait, no, I have done while throwin a whitey
They earn a dollar while I earn a dime that’s why I shit on company time.
Congrats for always having had good bosses.
A whole lot of thise lamps are in my area so I dont understand why we still have a hospital
my ass is installing linux on the first machine capable of having linux installed on it.
You are not safe, there is nothing you can do to stop me.
Nobody has ported Doom to a Himalayan salt lamp.
Yet.
This is your opportunity!one step at a time my friend, one step at a time…
Had an annon grindr date try this on me once. Except I already had Linux on all my electronics. Hottest sex ever. Happily married for 6 years.
More romantic that 99 prevent of my Grindr dates. Hard jealous.
Fuck that’s hot
Your tinder date brings you into their home. While they are having a shower, you grab their laptop to install Linux mint cinnamon on it, but the Ventoy ISO wont boot. The track pad is greasy and crusted up with yellow stuff. Screen hinge is cracked. You boot it up to get your bearings. Windows XP, service pack 1. No password. 1 GB RAM. 32 bit CPU. Super PC clean is running. Blatant malware. No antivirus in sight. Internet Explorer 6 lumbers to the foreground. Fifteen spyware toolbars visible. Popups start flooding the screen. You look at the desktop, its littered with zip files with random file names. The mouse cursor is a pirate with a wooden leg. The CPU fan loudens to an alarming volume even though there’s no programs running that you can see.
Do you:
-
Continue and try to install a 32 bit version of linux
-
leave silently, unmatch them on tinder, and block their number
-
There’s a decent chance that’s still the salt lamp.
The toilet!
THIS is a classic.
You got a go stick ready for this at all time?
You guys get dates? I only get ghosted…
I’m going with neither.
are you sure you don’t want to share an indirect kiss with all her past tinder dates?
Yes. I’m sure.
Join us we can all be one across time and also this lamp
If you really need to kiss me, do it yourself, coward. Don’t rely on a nasty ass salt lamp /s
Same. That lamp has absolutely been licked before. You don’t know by whom and you don’t know how recently. If you’re at least a tiny bit of a germaphobe, those statements should frighten you.
If you’re a germaphobe then surely you should know that 100% salt is enough to yeet literally any microorganism to the back of beyond; in fact anything over 30% is
That lamp is more hygienic than your dinner plate, more than the inside of any food package and infinitely more than your hands even after you’ve just washed them
I think this is like when people say they have OCD when really they just like things tidy. I’m reality it’s more about the ick than any germs
Yeah agreed that while you’re more than likely not gonna get sick from it unless you have an allergic reaction of some sort, it’s still probably dusty as those things are a nightmare to clean and so not a pleasant lick
If it’s rooted in rational thought, it’s not a phobia.
I’m afraid of hungry bears in the woods. That’s not a phobia. But constantly checking your 17th floor balcony for hungry bears is.
well have you considered the fact that im stupid
If everyone thought that way though the lamp would never get licked
The high salinity should take care of any bacteria in short order. It may not be clean, but there ain’t no bacteria on it!
tiny bit of a germaphobe
iirc salt is a has antimicrobial properties. So if anything, then licking that salt, will reduce the germs in your mouth. So a true germaphobe would be all over that lamp
But my salt lamp is in my bathroom.
Hmm, now I wonder, if the lamp would slowly ‘melt’, from damp air condensing on it.
