I miss Harambe.
I’ve met snakes and they were not too scary and patient if you don’t touch them.
While primates I see every day are much more dangerous, and this one also is too strong and dumb to mess with.
Still, with the gorilla I’ll at least be able to realize that I’m going to be dead before I’m dead, but still breathing.
With such a snake that’s very much not certain.
So not sure, I’d throw a coin.
EDIT: Survival-wise I’d choose snakes, if that’s not clear.
Silverback. Yeah mambas should be scared and stay away, but one crazy one and you can’t hide anywhere. With the gorilla I just need to stay somewhere closed off, like on top of an elevator car. But also silverbacks understand conciliatory gestures. If you’re submissive they won’t attack you. Literally the opposite of a black bear encounter. Make yourself small, look away, and slowly move away.
If the both animals are angry I feel like you can just loot some food and drinks then lock yourself into a freezer or something (ofc you turn it off first).
I dont know how realistic this is but I kinda expect a gorilla to be able to smash the freezer door but no way a snake is getting in or 5 for that matter
loot some food and drinks then lock yourself into a freezer or something
If its just 24 hours, just get some powerbanks for your phone and something to collect any pee/poo you have to release. Food/water just means more waste to deal with.
Or head to the lingerie store and seduce the gorilla.
Ah, the Bugs Bunny approach… worst case scenario you get flattened and walk away with funny sound effects.
Why waste a nice night away from home eh
Gorilla might come at you because fuck you. Mamba is scared shitless of you.
They may be, but it’s still terrifying to find out one was sleeping in your bed springs after you found one on your windowsill the night before.
I feel like the same is true of a gorilla though.
There are hidden hallways behind the shops, if you can get back there the gorilla won’t ever find you. Hell go to the elevator or a bathroom and just chill for a day.
Gorillas are some sneaky motherfuckers. That’s the first place they’ll hide waiting for you.
They’re not drop bears!
A gorilla is just five five drop bears in a fucking trench coat and you can’t prove me wrong.
Stop at the CinnaBon first then. Throw a roll and run away.
Decoy roll.
That’s terrible! You just don’t mess with a person’s sweetroll…
Yeah, just stay out in the open away from places a snake might hide so that you don’t accidentally scare one, and the Mambas should be fine.
Yeah my son has gotten really into snakes. They reallly just want you to leave them alone. Good thing too since they can move at 12 mph
12mph is coincidentally the speed my bowels would empty if I saw a black mamba coming at me at that speed.
Amateur, I can make my bowels empty faster than 12 mph in recreational settings.
Gorilla any day. If the Black Mamba kills you, it is not a pleasant death, 7-15 hours. Gorilla will probably beat/bite me to death as fast as possible to minimise any risk to itself. The Mamba will also be much more unpredictable vs the Gorilla. But I wonder how this situation would be if it was over a week and not 24 hours
Yeah, I’d take the snakes anyday. You probably won’t even encounter them in the mall. You’ll probably notice the gorilla. Also, I’m confident that I could easily find something in a mall to deal with the snakes. I can’t think of anything I’d find in a mall that would let me take down a gorilla.
Heck, the mall is probably safer with the snakes in it. They’d eat the rats, which can carry dangerous diseases.
A gorilla could probably catch me, but 5 black mambas aren’t that fast unless the mall is underwater (average top speed is 12mph on land). It’s a big mall. Maybe they’re all over at Sears while I’m safe at Suncoast.
Does your mall still have a Sears?
Does your mall still have a Sun Coast?
Has anyone actually been inside a mall in the last decade?
Of course. Good place to play Pokemon go during heatwaves.
Our mall has a FYE !
I’m pretty sure it’s spelled FYI, FYI 😛
Yeah, it’s next to the Best buy, Toys R Us and Kmart.
Yeah… Kinda? It’s not the whole department store; it’s just a repair center but it also carries like tires and tools. No clothes or accessories and what not like it used to have.
Me and 24 gorilla pals going to Auntie Annie’s after a movie then looking through GameStop.
Actually yeah, gorilla and have him smash into the GameStop for you… The perfect heist
That depends. Is there a Hot Topic in the mall?
Gorillas are terrifying. Reptiles are just not. I could just hide in a bathroom and mind my own business. I pick the mambas
Imagine sitting in a bathroom stall, with a gorilla pounding full force on the door, you just waiting for it to break, knowing full well that you will be crushed soon.
Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope. Nope.
Unless I had a gun I pick the mambas. Even then I would want some powerful ammunition.
I’d take the snakes. If you can find the thermostat you can turn it way down and immobilize the snakes.
oh its mamba time. for sure.
Mambas numbering five…
Ah 1, 2, 3-4-5…
I hope you’re proud of yourself. 🤣
Gorilla. No doubt in my mind. It’s a hell of a lot easier to keep track of where one gorilla is compared to 5 black snakes.
One gorilla will probably ignore me as long as I keep my distance. Keeping distance and even putting a wall or 3 between you and the gorilla is trivial in a place as large as a mall.
On the other hand, snakes might mostly ignore me, but since I don’t know where the fuckers are, it’s a lot easier to accidentally startle or threaten one.
My new best friend friend Coco isn’t coming through pipes, air ducts, holes in walls, etc. Big strong boi isn’t hiding in the corner of a closet waiting to bite me as I reach in to grab a snack.
I’d go to the food court, put out a cornucopia of food, make sure the gorilla sees me leave it there for them, bow respectfully and slink away, then spend the rest of the 24 hours clear on the opposite side of the mall.
This all assumes that the gorilla isn’t enraged for any particular reason or starving. But even if so, I think gorilla is the safer answer, just the evasion technique changes.
I don’t think a gorilla would be chill while stuck in a mall
Are the snakes hungry? You can be on an open space, or a strtegically closed one to keep away from the snakes.
I don’t think a gorilla would be chill while stuck in a mall
We don’t know that.
Where’s the myth busters for this?
Depends, is there a food court?
Sure, lots of big animals are gentle. However when something the size of a car decides to gore you or rip your spine in half, there’s nothing you can do about it
It’s not like we’re better at defending ourselves from snakes either
Just don’t go into corners, it’s 24 hours and only 5 snakes. Go to the Asian imports and get a mall ninja sword if it makes you feel more comfortable. The snakes are going to fuck off anywhere small where they feel protected… just don’t go adventuring and you won’t have any snek issues.
Now if it’s 50 mambas that definitely changes the calculus.
A snake can’t sprint at you at 25 miles an hour and then rip you in half like a phone book as soon as it sees you. Nor would it. A panicked gorilla placed in a strange location like a mall will potentially kill anything in sight.
