are you trying to get someone to break off with you?
Eat a large bucket of KFC and try your hardest? I love chicken rolled in bread -> deepfried as much as the next sane earthican, but man does my digestive system hate it with a furious burning passie.
Mainline dysentery infected blood
Just take laxatives 30 minutes prior to needing to shit your pants?
There’s this stuff they give you before a colonoscopy. I don’t know what it’s called but it will get the job done
Movieprep or kleenprep. I’ve had both and one definitely worked for me and the other only kicked in the morning off my endoscopy.
There’s these which are prescription only, but you can also down a bottle of magnesium citrate as an OTC alternative.
Good ol magnesium shit-rate
And as a bonus, the taste of magnesium citrate doesn’t make you gag like the prescription stuff.
Lookup “colon cleansing”.
Sandwich bag full of shit placed in your shorts 2-6 hours from now. Then sit down firmly.
Or talk to the homeless guy in Walmart. He seems to have this one down pat.
You should ask Ted Nugent, he is an expert
I’m very glad that him being a pants sitting draft dodger, and later bragging about how great of a special forces guy he would have been is general knowledge.
Heh, a worldwide known fact. I am Dutch but when I read ‘shit + pants’ the answer always be that crusty pants mf.
Improperly cooked eggs or chicken can help
Depends on where you live, that could literally kill you. Salmonella are no joke.
100% Salmonella ain’t no joke!
Very potentially deadly! I’ve had it once, got lucky and only went half crazy and bleeding a bit from the inside and out…
Got food poisoning from an undercooked egg last week. Literally became a human fountain on BOTH ENDS, at the SAME TIME!! Never felt so… empty inside, literally.
Thanks God it’s not salmonella even though it dragged me halfway to hell. If salmonella is worse than that, I wouldn’t wish it for my worst enemies.
Sprite and magnesium citrate. A dose takes about 30 minutes to work, so if you dilute it in a 20 ounce bottle it should hit at about the 2 hour mark depending on how your body reacts.
This is the stuff to use, but I don’t think diluting will work like this. I recommend taking it, with a bit of sprite 30 minutes before showtime.
Stay hydrated!
Hopefully the shortage isn’t still going on. There was a huge shortage a couple years ago and I couldn’t get it anywhere. Had to resort to an enema to prep for my surgery.
My local Walmart has it for $1.47 in grape, cherry, and lemon. Looks like Walgreens has it too!
I lost 7.5 lbs in one night due to that stuff. I went to the doctor because I kept having diarrhea. Turns out I was so constipated the only thing that could make its way out was liquid. I drank a bottle of that stuff and 45 minutes later…well…you know that one scene from Dumb and Dumber? Yeah, that was me for like an hour and half straight.
Salt water flush. You will shit continuously for two hours as your body tries to rid you of a dangerous amount of salt.
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Holy shit, that ratio
The jar says add 1tsp to 8 oz water.
A liter is 33.8 fl.oz.
33.8 oz ÷ 8 oz = 4.2 tsp.
Half a cup is 24 tsp.
This is too many.
During this window, farts are lies!
Am Crawfish, can confirm
Just relax homie, you got this. 💩
Milk of magnesia. You can get it at basically any drug store and it will make you fucking BLAST.
RemindMe! 6 hours “reply to this thread”
You asked for a reminder to: reply to this thread
Thanks. Try mineral oil.
Orally, anally, both?
Orally. It can take 6 hours for a bowel movement.
I hope that stupid bot doesn’t exist here
Eat a big bowl of oatmeal now, then have a coffee 2 minutes before showtime.
