Well they convinced me
Between the possibilities that people extracting the dirtiest most ecologically-damaging to extract oil there is from Alberta’s Tar Sands are doing it for:
- The Lesbians
- Their own pockets (and screw everybody else)
There is one infinitely more likely to be the actual reason than the other and it ain’t the first one.
Kind reminds me of an equally facile argument that was making the rounds excusing the Israeli Genocide because of “how Palestinians treated Homosexuals”, as if Israel was murdering tens of thousands of little children (more broadly, an estimated almost 200k people, quite independently of their sexual orientation) because of how much they cared about Palestinian Homosexuals.
This shit is to Equality what Greenwashing is to Environmentalism.
it’s also a joke that wasn’t meant to be taken seriously
This Woke PR Firm Is Quietly Running an Influencer Campaign for Fossil Fuels
The New York-based PR firm Porter Novelli, which has clients in 60 countries, has launched a conversation series called “Creating a New Climate: For Earth, For Women, For Justice.”
…
“When you switch to natural gas, you get incredible savings and unlimited coziness,” reads an Instagram ad that began running this week for Natural Gas Genius, the latest in an advertising effort by the American Public Gas Association to convince new homebuyers to choose gas appliances at a time when efforts to phase out gas are growing. The ads feature lots of fake fireplaces, barbecues, stocked kitchens with gas stoves, and smiling millennials.
A report last year from the group Carbon Tracker was clear: fossil fuel companies have to cut their production of oil and gas one-third by 2040 for the world to have any chance of meeting the Paris climate targets. There is no room for the gas industry to expand.
The “Gas Genius” campaign, first reported on earlier this summer by Mother Jones’ Rebecca Leber, was developed by Porter Novelli starting in 2018. The central message is “around the whole idea of natural gas as a lifestyle and not just a one-time purchase,” said Mary Faulke, a Porter Novelli strategist, during a private webinar for the American Public Gas Association, which was reviewed by VICE News. “As you can see, this strategy has really been paying off for us.”
During 2019, “the campaign saw 5.9 million paid media impressions; 41,605 click-throughs to the website; and, 14,669 people reached on Facebook,” according to the American Public Gas Association.
shrug Its not out of line with what these PR firms are already churning out.
“around the whole idea of natural gas as a lifestyle and not just a one-time purchase,”
Since when has buying fuel ever been a one time purchase? How can you even make a one time purchase of natural gas?
Well, if you have a large, underground, high pressure tank, a simple single-person household and only a few years to live.
… but possible.
I suspected so, but in this day and age who knows…
scribbles on clipboard “got it …don’t…have fun…” “Okay sir your co-pay is $20 and here is your script for Zoloft, let’s hope you can unclench your cheeks sometime soon and have a little fun”.
You don’t choose from where you get your oil. There’s one oil market. You can choose to ban imports of oil from certain countries (like Russia).
The better move is just to migrate further away from oil usage altogether.
It doesn’t have to be an outright ban. You could have tariffs on imported oil, subsidies for domestic oil production, or loosened regulations that make domestic production less expensive. Reducing oil use is important, but so is reducing reliance on foreign oil. While the former also helps accomplish the latter, increased domestic oil production could still be beneficial.
(I generally think that international trade is a net benefit, but there’s a lot to be said for avoiding dependence on not-so-friendly foreign governments for the supply of economic essentials.)
I seriously thought it was massaging/cosmetic oils that were advertised
The oil market actually has sub markets that break down by region and the type of crude that is being traded. Not all crude is created equal and there are different types of refineries that are designed to refine the different types of crude.
For example, a refinery that refines light / sweet crude won’t take the heavy stuff. Which is why places like North America export a lot of their domestic stuff. North America has a lot refineries looking for light crude, but pulls a lot of heavy stuff out of the ground.
How???
Me, walking into a gas station: “5 gallons of Albertan gasoline please!”
And then two hot lesbians will have sex on the hood of your car.
Have to come at em with the broom.
“Shoo! Get off my car!”
And then they hiss at you and run behind the dumpster
Get the spray bottle. My cat hates getting wet and runs off, they might also.
Most lesbians aren’t hot.
Girls acting like lesbians is hot.
Wow! /s
🫡🫡🫡
I’d hit it (“it” being the trapped oil) with a force of 15,000 pounds per square inch.
Fake, if these were Canadian lesbians at least one of these women would be dressed like a lumberjack.
She needs to be resting an axe on her shoulder for this to be the bare minimum credible. Not to mention overalls
She is on her day off.
Exactly. So she’d be dressed like a lumberjack as opposed to working as a lumberjack.
Wait, our hat has oil? Eagle screech intensifies
It’s better for making asphalt than gasoline and the US just buys it from Canada anyway.
Don’t tempt some of them. Alberta has a whole separatist community that wants it to leave Canada and join the states…
Hydraulically frack deez nuts
(Or the lesbian equivalent thereof)
#1) “Hey bestie, I know a guy who will pay us to model for an ad about Canadian Oil.”
#2) “okay…”
#3) “okay, ladies this will be quick, put on these outfits.”
#2) “why do I get the skimpy one, are you sure this isn’t another porno?”
#1) “yes, I’m sure. He said its going on Facebook or something.”
#3) “Okay, now #2 lean over #1, get in real close like your about to kiss her”
#2) “…”
Let’s just buy less oil altogether so the lesbians will still have a liveable planet in a couple or decades.
:3
:33:
Yes, let’s do it for the lesbians!
Everyday you learn something.
I always thought Canadian Lesbians were pretty cold given the average Canadian temperature.
How do you think they keep themselves warm in the cold?
Oil?
Massaging oil
Natural gas.
Anyone got the source?
It’s a real ad, so no.
I found the sauce, unfortunately it’s not what we were hoping for.
A message from the government of Alberta
“We would be Saudi Arabia if we could.”
Big fracking oil sand has no grounds to argument on morale.
