cassie 🐺

definitely helps to bow out instead of talking down to a beginner. “it seems you’re having an issue with X, I would recommend reading up on Y and Z because [how they relate to your problem]” is helpful, a very natural stopping point, is useful to people who search and find the thread in the future.

Ultimately, we’re discussing two different styles of communication that I don’t see as any better or worse than each other - everyone finds what works for them in their circumstances and environment and your style probably works great for yours!

There’s a fair bit of hostility and harassment I encounter in public for various reasons, and I also have some inherent difficulty processing speech and verbalizing. As a result, I take a pretty blunt approach to communication - one in which I do not mind showing that I’m angry, because that is a necessary thing to be sometimes.

I practice mindfulness a lot and do not generally feel required to say the first thing that comes to mind. But if a drunk asshole is following me home, I’m not looking to outwit em. I’m looking to stay focused on my safety while letting em know that I see em and I’m probably more trouble than they’re looking for.

In serious conversation with people I care about, I do swear, but it’s because phrases like “I’m so fucking sorry that happened to you” come naturally to me and are effective. The emphasis that a little bit of swearing can add in moments like that is pretty useful.

This all doesn’t have to be your thing, like I said this is all down to personal preference - but it would be a mistake to assume that people who swear aren’t communicating as meaningfully. It’s just another tool that we have at our disposal.

1. why is letting off steam indicative of a weak character? I think that when under stress, it’s actually indicative of someone being emotionally intelligent to recognize they need to let some stress out and find an avenue for it. I can’t explain exactly why, but swearing has always been a pretty effective way for me to let out some stress mid conversation while staying focused on a problem.

2. some contexts call for aggression. i.e. If someone’s making me or someone I care about uncomfortable in public, it can be pretty useful to bare my teeth back. A simple “fuck off” doesn’t require me to engage with any of their bullshit at all, gets the point across, and carries it with a mild aggression that actually does make people fuck off much of the time.

3. it is imprecise, but in many contexts it’s precise enough to convey displeasure and dismay enough to get the point across. In fact the power of “fuck you” is in how concise yet universally applicable and understandable in so many situations.

For some reason most of my partners have ended up being Cincinnati refugees. So I think I can second this. “it’s a good place to be from” is a common refrain.

as a Colorado native I’ve disliked most every other person I’ve met from the state elsewhere, no particular reason outside luck of the draw I think

Much of the time communication isn’t about being creative or coming off smart. It’s about effectively conveying meaning with the tools you have. Sometimes that means simple, crude language is more effective at conveying something than all the wit in the world.

So when I’m in a situation that calls for its use, I don’t care that “fuck off” is a dime-a-dozen phrase that doesn’t make sense. It’s never misunderstood, it’s cathartic to say, and I don’t need to think on the spot to figure out something more eloquent - my mind is on, y’know, who or what needs to fuck off instead.

young men have been told that white men are the worst thing to be.

Ok, but try not being a man and see if people think that’s any better…

ooh I fell in love with Taking Water by Billy Strings a day or two ago and it’s been in my head since

I forgor 💀

that an offer, or…?

wait wait wait, but I’m on the internet! :o

While I do broadly agree, I feel it’s important to note generational trauma is a real and separate concept. It just refers to the idea that trauma can be passed down from parents to children by repeating the same behavior or perpetuating the same ideas that traumatized them. This can be especially apparent in children of immigrants, religious extremists, or survivors of abuse, all for completely different reasons. It’s very common and worth talking about.

Escapism is a valid reason to enjoy music, but catharsis is a thing for some too. Sometimes it’s helpful to hear someone artfully articulate something I feel but haven’t put words to. When I’m frustrated with the world I put on some Against Me, rage about things for a bit, and then feel better.

It really depends on the sport imo. Trans women may retain some more muscle and some parts of the skeleton are largely unaffected, but muscle elasticity, hip rotation, flexibility, and endurance all end up being more dependent on hormones than birth sex in the long term. How much these things matter varies a lot from sport to sport, and the current system is not sufficient to balance these traits even among people of the same sex. Multiple leagues based on broad body types sounds reasonable, but I have no idea how complicated the rules would have to be to make it completely fair, given we already accept a great deal of unfairness currently.

My GF loves One Piece, she started me at just one episode quite a ways in - the one with Bink’s Sake - basically just to say “hey look, this story is actually going somewhere”. Then we started at like episode 60 or so and kept watching from there - it’s definitely a lot rougher, but I’m hooked enough now to watch it with her!

Sticks and stones may break my bones, and single words here and there won’t hurt me, but en masse they normalize an attitude of supremacy and derision toward folks that super don’t need any more. No snowflake thinks they caused the avalanche, but lots of us have to live with the consequences of this in daily life regardless. Shock value slurs are also just… tired and played out at this point. Whatever humor they had at one point doesn’t really land in the same way anymore.