I’m autistic, so grain of salt, but I’ve been specifically advised to do something that feels like bullying to me by someone with a degree early child development. I think the difference is that I’m unlikely to take it too far, but maybe they were just a radical and I absolutely should not be doing this. What do you guys think:
After a 3-5 year old kid goes to the bathroom, ask if they washed their hands, and if they say no, you make a grossed out face and say “eeeewww, that’s dirty. You need to do that before we can play together.”
It’s obviously a more constructive type of “bullying” than is standard, and you’re supposed to pair it with exaggerated relief and excitement to play as soon as they’ve washed their hands, so the last impression in the kid’s head isn’t rejection, but it still feels mildly iffy to me. I’m fucking terrible with kids though, so I don’t trust my own instincts.
I don’t think it’s bullying, because bullying involves tormenting them - finding what they react negatively to, and pushing on that. Here, you’re letting them know that there’s something you need them to do before you’re comfortable playing with them. You might think of it as modelling how to protect your own bodily autonomy!
For me, when my kids were going through that, I’d say something like “Ack! Don’t touch me with poo hands! Go wash first, then you can climb on me!” It’d generally get a giggle, then they’d go finish washing up. You’ll want to pay attention to their reaction whatever you do, but if you make it clear they’re still welcome to play, I don’t see how it could be bullying.
I’m autistic, so grain of salt, but I’ve been specifically advised to do something that feels like bullying to me by someone with a degree early child development. I think the difference is that I’m unlikely to take it too far, but maybe they were just a radical and I absolutely should not be doing this. What do you guys think:
After a 3-5 year old kid goes to the bathroom, ask if they washed their hands, and if they say no, you make a grossed out face and say “eeeewww, that’s dirty. You need to do that before we can play together.”
It’s obviously a more constructive type of “bullying” than is standard, and you’re supposed to pair it with exaggerated relief and excitement to play as soon as they’ve washed their hands, so the last impression in the kid’s head isn’t rejection, but it still feels mildly iffy to me. I’m fucking terrible with kids though, so I don’t trust my own instincts.
I don’t think it’s bullying, because bullying involves tormenting them - finding what they react negatively to, and pushing on that. Here, you’re letting them know that there’s something you need them to do before you’re comfortable playing with them. You might think of it as modelling how to protect your own bodily autonomy!
For me, when my kids were going through that, I’d say something like “Ack! Don’t touch me with poo hands! Go wash first, then you can climb on me!” It’d generally get a giggle, then they’d go finish washing up. You’ll want to pay attention to their reaction whatever you do, but if you make it clear they’re still welcome to play, I don’t see how it could be bullying.