This is a shitpost, but people are taking it seriously?
Use a Hitachi Magic Wand and an outlet timer.
Or a hammer drill with no bit on it…duct taped to the bed frame. Bam instant earthquake style alarm.
I use a Fitbit flex 2 for that purpose. I doubt they make that model anymore, but probably make something similar. The flex 2 is just a little lozenge-shaped thing that tracks movement, can vibrate, and has a few little lights. The app let’s you set alarms (you turn it off by tapping it). I also have mine set to vibrate when I get a text message or a phone call in case I’m someplace noisy and don’t hear it.
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Look up the PineWatch. Its as affordable and Open Source as it gets
If you have several hundred dollars to burn Apple has you covered. One of my favorite features of my watch honestly.
Yup. I had no idea it did that at first, so I was very surprised to find that out lol. It’s a fantastic feature to have though, and makes waking up less of a nightmare
If only the battery lasted more than a day, day and a half tops…
I’ve had numerous watches, just because I need an alarm on me for medications (ranging from cheap $30 models, through Fitbit/athletic watches, up to the Apple watch), and they basically all have the vibration feature. The Apple Watch has probably the worst battery life of any of them I’ve tried, and I’ve tried really hard to extend it…
Some of the really dirt cheap ones you pair with the watch, set the alarms, then unpair (because they are cheap Chinese brands with all sorts of tracking if you use the app), and the battery on the watch is good for like a week. If you want to keep the shitty app running, or have a spare device to pair it with, you can change alarms on the fly.
Either way, I wouldn’t recommend an Apple Watch to someone who just wants a vibrating alarm. They are not good for that single use, unless you actually want all the other stuff it does and are fine with the crap battery life. Same with any major smart watch. If all you need is an alarm, they are super overkill and just one more thing to keep charged.
Most modern ones last long enough and charge fast enough that it’s barely ever been a problem. I just pop it on the charger when I shower at night and when I’m getting ready in the morning. It always lasts the day pretty easy for me
You sound like you don’t have adhd, which makes routines like that a problem. I do, which is why I don’t recommend things with short battery life.
I’m just saying that not everyone is great with “one more device to charge every day” when all they need is a vibrating alarm and there are options that don’t require that.
What you are looking for is a “Bed shaker”. These are often used by the deaf to wake up. A relatively cheap phone-connected one can be found here but it’s iphone only. This one works with Android. Both use proprietary apps. The website linked was just at the top of a Google search, you can find stuff like this on Amazon as well.
Or replace one leg of the bed with a Sybian
But OP said no sex toys.
Is there like a sign up sheet or?
I’d suggest these vibrating pads you get at some restaurants (you can pick up your order when the thing goes off). They’re crazy loud. Probably still loud if you put them under your pillow.
Kinda like this: https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/JT-9303-OEM-Waterproof-Wireless-Transmitter_1600599278778.html?s=p&spm=a2706.7843667.0.0.66d34356eKubIC
I’d suggest these vibrating pads or pagers you get at some restaurants (you can pick up your order when the thing goes off). They’re crazy loud. Probably still loud if you put them under your pillow.
Kinda like this: https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/JT-9303-OEM-Waterproof-Wireless-Transmitter_1600599278778.html?s=p&spm=a2706.7843667.0.0.66d34356eKubIC
How about a smart watch? I realise this is kind of specific but I have a Pixel 8 phone and a Pixel Watch 2. The alarms sync, and the vibration on my watch is enough to wake me up.
This is my recommendation as well. Having the alarms sync is one of my favorite things with the watch. And when you stop it on one it stops it on both.
I blindly reach down to my watch and press the button there to snooze the alarm, it’s great!
And honestly if they’re looking for affordability, I have a $25 mi fit (or at least that’s what it cost when I bought it 6 years ago) that has the same functionality. The app for it is shit, but it does the job.
What’s the issue with just using a real vibrator? Probably easy to find and cheap.
Get a Bluetooth one and pay someone online to tip you at the time you want to wake up.
It may be that OP is hard of hearing or entirely deaf and does not need physical relaxation so much as a healthy adult sleep schedule.
Probably not, they’re common knowledge among us.
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If you have a room for yourself, you could consider a wake up light, like the ones from Philips.
Bed shaking devices/deaf alarm clocks
smart watch?
You can get alarms that you place under the mattress and they shake the entire bed
Like this one?
The design is very human
Isn’t a phone technically a vibrating alarm clock?
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Smart watch? Research which ones have a strong vibration. Some are good, some suck.
Depends where you put it.
A phone won’t vibrate strongly enough for you? You could adjust the intensity of those you know
Nah they’re right. My Xiaomi had great vibration, audible without a ringtone but my Pixel now is very weak. Definitely depends on the brand and model.
Also most smart watches will provide this functionality
I used to use this, you can turn the audible alarm all the way off and just use the shaker!
https://www.amazon.com/Sonic-Alert-SBB500SS-Extra-Loud-Flashing/dp/B000OOWZUK
I had one of these until I got married. You will wake up, many times in a panic. Good times.
Why does it need to sync with your phone?
What’s the goal of connecting it?
As others have mentioned, I’d look for alarm clocks for deaf people. Many are in the $20 range but don’t do Bluetooth.
probably because the times vary
