This was a teacher that told me in the 90s. “Phone calls are an invasion. When you call someone you’re saying ‘stop everything you’re doing and talk to me’. This was specially true when Caller ID was not a thing.”
Leaving a message equals to a DM or text. The recipient can respond later, but a call, it must be at that moment. It’s synchronous.
And people who use text apps for synchronous communication are holding it wrong. I shouldn’t be expected to respond immediately to a slack message.
Your not. They have false expectations and that’s their problem.
It infuriates me when I’m talking to someone, their phone rings, and they instantly take the call while I’m still talking. It’s like someone interrupting me and they instantly switch focus to the other person, like what they have to say is more important than me.
And it irritates my friends how I’ll quickly check who it is, then ignore the call while someone is talking to me. “Aren’t you gonna take that?” No, I’m listening to you right now.Leaving a message equals to a DM or text. The recipient can respond later
You’ve never met my wife.
Agreed. There are only three modern/common communications channels which are truly synchronous:
- In-person communication
- Phone calls
- Video calls
Everything else is asynchronous, and does not necessarily involve an interruption or a disruption of your time - you can get to it when you want to, within polite reason.
And with the fragmentation of our attention due to social media - to say nothing about the broader nature of our modern culture - being able to handle communication asynchronously is becoming very important to people.
I don’t have a problem with phone calls and prefer them for urgent matters, but people need to stop with the preamble and reiterations. Asking me if I have time takes as much time as just telling me what you have to say. I already know you don’t really care if I have a moment because you’ll just say what you want regardless of my answer.
Because we don’t have those nice thick hard plastic handles to rest on your shoulder
Or how about those pink cute kool “princess” table top phones
You could fit a whole smartphone inside one of the later ones with the buttons that would leave marks on your face
The paranoid narcissim in this thread in incredible. I have no idea how some people function at all if the idea of a phone call unravels them.
Easy, back in the day all we had was phone call for instant communication, so not much to compare to.
Also, you didn’t call a person, you called a house or place of work. This meant it was used more sparingly (need to keep the line open/share with the test of the house) and of you were away, then that phone call couldn’t bother you. This also meant people were used to not being able to reach who they wanted to talk to, so of you felt like letting the answering machine get it, no one would think anything of it. You were either on the phone or present in the moment, not trying to talk with a number of people who don’t know each other.
Now everyone has a phone at their hip. You can call someone and if that someone sends it to voicemail, you know they did and it can become a point of drama depending on the circumstance. Now I can be in the middle of text conversations with a half dozen people across half the world and so when my phone unexpectedly rings then I won’t who is this asshole who thinks they deserve my full attention over these other folks, even though the other person has no way of knowing about those conversations. We are expected to juggle concurrent conversations and a phone call derails that.
Y’know, I’ve been thinking it’s more than that lately. Yes, all that is true, but I think the younger generations who grew up being terminally connected to everything, always having to have a phone on them, always needing to be able to be reached by people, all their business on social media etc… I think we’ve developed an unspoken respect that when we contact people we let them respond on their own terms. If you text someone you are telling them, hey, I need something but, you can read this when it’s convenient, and you can respond when and in the method that’s convenient to you. When you call someone you are saying, I need something and I need you to deal with it right now over immediate voice chat. Yes, we can say I’m busy therefore I’ll let it go to voicemail, but in this day and age of respectful texting being the norm, we often assume a call out of the blue from a known number IS something important that requires immediate attention.
This creates a generational disconnect. Like when my phone rings unexpectedly at work, it’s 95% this one colleague in his 70s who is nice enough, but it instinctively feels rude because I feel like I need to answer. From his perspective, if I just don’t answer that’s fine and that’s the etiquette he was used to, try to call and no biggie if it doesn’t connect.
Going the other way, I know someone dealing with a person in their 80s over urgent important stuff and that person just will be utterly unreachable so much of the time. For them, there’s no such thing as “urgent enough to need immediate attention” because that was just not possible for them and society developed around the norm of folks just not being available as much.
Personally since chat/messages are now ubiquituous, call implies you need my reply/attention/input now, and/or need the vocal tonal part of communication.
If you call, and it’s clear there was neither reason, I’m annoyed. There was no reason to interrupt me, as I’ll assume there’s an emergency or urgent situation and pick up dropping whatever I’m doing.
There are exceptions of course, but nowadays those (like family get-togethers or check-ins) have honestly moved to group video chats so they’re not “calls”, either.
At my workplace, the response time for text-based messages (eg via Teams) varies wildly. Sometimes I get a response promptly. Sometimes it’s same day, sometimes it’s later that week, and sometimes I don’t get a response at all. So unfortunately the best way to get an answer I need is to just call them. Do I need that information that instant? Not necessarily, but I can’t risk the message being put off/ignored/forgotten for a week or more.
In addition to everything else, there’s also a feedback loop of spam calls predominating. The more legit conversation moves to other methods, the more spam calls stick out. That, in turn, means even more people prefer something other than phone calls. It eventually gets to the point where 99% of calls are spam, and that whole method of communication becomes useless.
How? Asynchronous communication is better for a lot of people. And now that we have really good choices for that, it’s hard to ignore.
A phone call demands that you drop everything in that moment and pay close attention to the person on the other end. If they ramble, deviate, breathe heavily, have a lot of background noise, etc, you’re stuck with that experience for the duration. Also, recording without consent is illegal in a lot of places, so you have to be able to write things down in order to refer back to the conversation if it contains any important information.
In contrast, everything else is self-documenting, can be read through multiple times, and can be handled when there is time to focus on that task. As a bonus: most people can read and understand text faster than they can listen. So it’s just more efficient.
Which is why I’ll never understand people who send recordings. It’s the worst of both worlds.
People who send voice notes piss me off so much.
Oh god, a 5 minute voice note with no accompanying text, just shoot me. Like you’re really going to make me listen to you ramble on a 1x speed while you get to some point that I guarantee could fit in one or two sentences, if you took the modicum of brain power required to compose your thoughts into coherent words.
PS. I understand a lot of people love sending voice notes back and forth, and that’s totally fine if it’s the thing.
How to really be Satan: send an important video note. Make it recorded outside with a lot of wind and background noise. Then, just to be fun, slow the video down to 80% playback speed, reencode it, and send that!
What if I send you a link to a video message I recorded and posted on YouTube? Also it has ads on it.
That thing about there not being a recording is precisely why emails give me mad anxiety and calls do not. Granted, you have to tell/text me to find a time that works for both. Otherwise, I’ll return the call at my convenience. Also, I hate when a task has to be on my mind for several days because there’s back and forth over email because of questions. Makes me anxious as well. Guess what I’m saying is, people have different preferences for different reasons and that’s fine. No reason to argue why you think your preference is objectively superior.
This is precisely why you should never quit via a conversation with HR. You should send HR and your personal email an email detailing your resignation. Same for anything else that is sensitive. I’m fact you should keep record of everything you do for the company via email. It helps you personally because you can show how many good things you did that year. They can’t comeback and say you were Lazy if you can show an email trail showing the exact opposite. Similar in cases of sexual or racial abuse…don’t say anything to the perps…email them describing exactly what they did and cc or bcc your self and HR.
I absolutely detest text messaging or emails. You have a problem? Call me because I can probably solve your issue in one minute of phone call. I have been almost always been subjected to texting sessions that lasted for several hours because the dumbass on the other end lacked the spelling and vocab skills to provide an accurate written description of the problem.
Time is money and even sometimes life threatening unless the fastest method of communication is use. And fastest ain’t an email or text.
I firmly disagree, but that’s because for me writing and reading are much easier than verbal communication.
This issue really only comes up when people like you and people like me have to communicate.
This is also why I keep a notebook at work. Without it, spoken exchanges would essentially be a lacuna in a conversation for me.
Long way to say you’re a slow reader
Think of it as a way to say you have no clue how to communicate correctly through the written word. By the time I’m forced to wade through your lack of punctuation, misspellings and the autocorrect blunders and the stupid emojis to decipher what you REALLY meant, I already have equated your IQ to be around the range of my old orange tabby cat.
If you send me a text, I will consider it of such low priority that I might get back to you in a week or so.
Perhaps you could consider that for diverse reasons people have different prefered ways of communication. You have your own prefered way for your own reasons and that’s ok. That doesn’t mean you should disrespect other people’s communication choices or them personally.
This whole statement vibrates in Boomer
Fundamentally everyone here is putting a lot of effort into defending not participating in phone calls where as if they just picked up the phone the whole thing would be over now, but instead we’re all texting eachother trying to prove our points ultimately getting nowhere.
About the same time that 99% of the incoming voice calls are scammers.
Its my right to be not reachable, outside of work i will take time for your matter when its fitting for me.
And im forgetful and prefer to be able read important information again.
Thats why my phone is always on mute and my voice recorder tells people my email address.
Everybody in the comments claiming it’s social anxiety but I have no problem talking to people face to face or in an internet-based voice or video call. But phone calls are just ass. The audio quality sucks, I barely understand what the other person says and I don’t get to choose when and where it happens, might be one or both people are in some noisy situation etc and it’s just all around so awkward. I also think it’s kinda rude. A message is “Hey I want to exchange X information, reply whenever you want”, a call is “YOU WILL PAY ATTENTION TO ME RIGHT NOW”. It’s also incredibly annoying when some official place insists on phone calls only. Fucking brilliant, now I have to take half an hour of my day queueing and/or calling repeatedly to get done what I would have typed out in half a minute as an email. It’s even worse if it’s them who call you. “You will get a call from us in the next 3 days”. Now I have to be on fucking high alert to be available at that exact time or the back and forth missed calls start. Instead of just receiving an email and replying whenever.
This is the correct answer.
Why are people so offended over the fact there are some ppl who don’t like phone calls? 🤷♀️ who cares
People who are so used to getting everyone to stop what they’re doing get upset when they aren’t the center of attention.
It’s kinda childish, especially when you need something done now that requires details and understanding with no failure
Example and my ass just got outta bed and the coffee is still drippin’…if I have any questions, I can refer to the text instead of calling your ass…I do shit late, want a call at 2am?
Clearly not. Business calls should happen during business hours only. BUT, it is also pretty clear that direct speech is the most efficient way of communication when you don’t need a written record, so calls definitely have a purpose.
Nothing you want needs to be done immediately. NOTHING.
especially when you need something done now that requires details and understanding with no failure.
That’s about the only reason a call is better and should be scheduled as a meeting If at all possible. If there’s no need to have a back and forth conversation just text or email so I don’t have to disrupt the half dozen other things I’m currently working on to deal with you. As for humanity I spend enough time interacting with people I don’t want to talk to. I’m not hurting for more.
Yeah but the world’s not just some corporate environment where you can just schedule a call, nor is it all about wither or not you feel like you want to talk to people or not.
I mean it sounds like you’re talking about specific scenarios in your life and not considering that picking up a phone and talking to someone is not much different than walking over to your neighbors and asking to borrow their wrench.
Sure you could text, but for god sakes man, where’s your humanity?
Maybe life is a lot different than it used to be but when I look around at all these people defending so vigorously anti social behaviour, I can’t help but think that inherently something is wrong.
walking over to your neighbors and asking to borrow their wrench.
This is exactly the kind of thing that could be easily addressed via a text message. “Hey do you have a <x> wrench I can borrow?” That’s a Yes/No question. Nothing to go back and forth over. If you want to chit chat you can do so when they bring it over.
Sure you could text, but for god sakes man, where’s your humanity?
Where’s your humanity? By calling someone you are demanding their attention NOW. Even if they don’t intend to answer, their phone ringing for 30 seconds is annoying and distracting. Just hearing the damn thing go off elevates my stress level. As opposed to a text or e-mail they can respond to at their convenience and only gives them a simple notification. Expecting someone to drop everything to address your needs instantly is more anti-social than respecting that they may be busy right now and send a text instead. I was raised to be respectful of others’ time when asking someone for something.
I can’t help but think that inherently something is wrong.
There is. Talking on the phone has been turned into a miserable experience 90% of the time. We’re sick and tired of dealing with people’s bullshit at our shitty jobs all day and then getting spam calls when we’re at home. Having to drop everything to deal with a phone call is annoying and we don’t want more of it. There’s nothing “inhuman” about being stressed out and tired. There’s about 6 people on this planet I enjoy speaking to and the odds that it’s one of them calling when my phone rings are next to 0.
Idk man. Sounds like you’re projecting quite a lot lol.
I for one will continue the tried and true act of comradery amongst my fellow peers and continue to recognize that we live in a society with many facets of living. You can do whatever you want, but I like the idea of spontaneously sparking up conversations with strangers and neighbours and friends and family. It might be the worst thing ever to you, but using the phone to call people in the real world is no big deal lol.
I’m not projecting, I’m giving you my perspective. You can ignore it if you wish but there’s a subset of people who your behavior is pissing off. Spontaneous conversation isn’t as fun a time for everyone as you seem to think it is.
And my perspective is that if you’re going to get pissed off about things like this then you should probably have a long hard look at yourself in the mirror lol.
Also in my experience it’s not that hard to play the field and figure out when people you are talking to want to talk or want to just get straight to the point. 🤷🏻
For the workplace, calls are king. If you’re a professional, calling another professional, it’s the easiest and fastest way to exchange information back and forth. Long email chains that take several days to reach their conclusion are inefficient. If you need something done, in the work/business arena, just call. Younger generations are entering the workforce for first time and are scared to make or answer calls. It’s embarrassing.
Sure, outside of work, keep calls to a bare minimum. Family usually text first to arrange a phone call.
People have no back bone anymore. Oh no, I’m getting telemarketing calls… Just hang up.
Id say 20% of the time at work when someone calls its usually someone trying to do a sketchy end-run around the rules or get access to something they shouldnt have and they dont want it documented that they asked.
Calling with IT professionals is extremely inefficient when discussing technical details where correct settings (ip’s, ports, paths etc) matter. At best a call here is only useful to indicate the urgency of the mail that was sent.
Yeah but why phone calls? Slack or some equivalent is just superior in every way.
Sure, but cold calling someone is still a dick move. Professionals have schedules and deadlines. The proper etiquette is to first engage over email or text and ask if they’re free for a call unless it’s something truly urgent.
Sure, but cold calling someone is still a dick move
Thats an insane take. Especially for anyone that isn’t slave to the notification storm on a phone.
Cold calling is the equivalent of barging into someone’s house and yelling “Fuck you and what you’re doing. I’m more important.”
Again. Insane take by someone that likely is glued to a phone 24/7.
It’s okay to not answer or answer and say, call me later.
Majority scam
Calling is 10 times faster for 90 percent of my issues in my job. And my job is dealing with issues for 30 different people happening simultaneously. So yea, I like to cut back time when I can.
Yeah
It completely depends on this. Do you need a conversation, or do you need a response.
People don’t know how to do the one they need to do, so they hit every fastener with the hammer they got.
For me, it’s autism.
