[beep]

Forbidden mega-nuggie

At the same time

Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead.

You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm.

They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.

So what’s preferred alternative?

🎵 Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps 🎵

Bold of you to assume I thought it through any more than the time it took for that comment.

Anyway, I’d keep my two thumbs plus the index finger on my right hand and middle finger on my left.

It’s against the spirit of the question but I’d also “keep” the ones that were cut off after they were removed with the hopes of getting them reattached with some of that billion dollars.

Works either way, nice work.

Do I get to choose which ones I keep? If so, yes.

Would be a great reaction meme if you took out cooking and centered the remaining text

That’s my secret, Cap. I’m never wearing my glasses.

Alright, cherries jubilee and that’s it.

And it’s so easily fixable too. “Boris Johnson calls to lift ban on Ukraine using”… etc. or just move “to be lifted” immediately after “ban”.

without causing harm to animals

• Humans are animals
• Growing me-steak and eating it causes psychic damage
• Therefore, an animal was harmed

Alternative universe: In order to pay back Microsoft for saving them from bankruptcy, Apple buys up ad space on Windows BSODs.

Technically it was last Saturday, but that’s within the last 7 days, so it’s a week, just not the current calendar or business week.

!movies@lemm.ee is >>>> that way

become ungovernable untrainable